I dated this girl months ago and we're in our mid 20s. We are no longer dating but grew incredibly close with each other (hugging, kissing, holding hands, sleeping over). Recently, things have picked up even more and we sex occasionally. We have tried to put a label on what we are but we never make a conclusion. When I called us still friends she got offended and kept focusing on how we had sex and that it means A LOT to her. She says she hasn't been with anyone since her last serious relationship (5 years ago and it was a real bad breakup). Now she asked if we are friends with benefits but I said no and she made it clear that we are not in a relationship either. I've met this girls family and her friends/coworkers all say that we should be together and we look happy together. Yet, we hung out this weekend and she got drunk. We ended up having sex and it was a mental tailspin. We had sex quite a few times that night and at some points she would go on her phone and text. SHE NEVER HAS DONE THIS BEFORE. I let it go the first 2 times, then I scolded her and told her it was a mood killer. My gut told me something horrible was up. So I kept having sex with her and later that night she started to tell me that she loves me. Which she has also never said/done before. If anything, she's told me she really likes me and really cares about me. She has seemed genuine this entire time with everything she has said, the times she has cried/been upset, etc. Anyhow, when she fell asleep, I checked her phone. It turns out she was texting another guy (some guy she claims who likes her but she doesn't like at all. that is why she says she kept her distance from him and doesn't hang out Because of his feelings). She was texting him saying REAL dirty things (i.e. I wish you could bend me over right now). I am devastated. I don't know if there's actual emotions tied to this or just drunk texting. Either way, the fact she did this WHILE we had sex is an insult to me. I played it cool and all. The next morning she realized some of the things she did. She said she was sorry for screwing with my head when she realized she told me "i love u" MANY times and we went to bed angry (no idea, she just got upset and we stopped things and went to sleep). She then got a text message from the guy and said she was embarrassed over a text message she sent last night. She said she wished she never sent it. When I tried to pry more and ask what happened (playing dumb), she got slightly upset with me interrogating her. Anyhow, I dropped her off home and that was it. My question is, should I make mention to her of the text msgs or just bite my tongue since we aren't dating/in a relationship. Drunk or not, I am furious she did that. I need some opinions as I have feelings for this girl. Thank you so much in advance!
Most Helpful Girl
Ugh. So let me get this straight...in the middle of f***ing her, she was texting on her phone? As in, you're literally going at it and she's holding her phone texting during sex?
If that's the case, then that's f***ed up. BUT...while that's pretty downright disrespectful, the bottom line is that you aren't in a relationship or dating (you said so yourself) so she technically is doing nothing wrong texting other guys. Unless you've talked about being exclusive, she's free to date and f*** other guys, too.
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