How many people out there only date people they really like and don't try to fill out their time with anyone?

I'm a girl who does not find I easy to be attracted to just any guy, which is why I don't try to fill out my time with just anyone for the heck of it. Over the past 9 years, I was only REALLY attracted to 3 guys (one of my major crushes is ongoing).

How many people out there are like me?

I'm surrounded by people who go out with every guy that ask them out. and guys that break up with one girl and get together with another right away.

  • I don't get involved just with anyone for the heck of it.
    38% (6)50% (8)44% (14)Vote
  • I need to always be with someone, so I break up with someone and get with someone else right away.
    0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
  • I only enjoy dating people I really like.
    62% (10)44% (7)53% (17)Vote
  • Poll results
    0% (0)6% (1)3% (1)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|0
10|8

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm a lot closer to your end of the spectrum. Relationships should mean something other than "not being alone". If other people want to get together for the heck of it, good for them. I don't agree with that principle but it's their lives and they can deal with the consequences.

    What's sad about it is how some people treat relationships like a game of musical chairs. When the music stops they dash for the nearest chair and cling onto it like the last lifeboat on the Titanic. It doesn't matter how cheap and uncomfortable the chair is, all that matters is that in those waning seconds separating partnership from momentary solitude, that chair is a glorified throne. What's wrong with that? They are allowing random outside forces dictate their lives and ultimately their happiness.

    The right mindset to have (and it's the mindset I currently have embraced) is that it's not a game. I can move when I want to move, dance when I want to dance, and choose a chair when I damn well feel like sitting down.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 7

  • I have a very small history of relationships and they never worked out. Nothing even a year+ but I can count my history on one hand. I have been on first dates and such a plenty, but committed is a whole different scenario.

    As much as I would like to be in a relationship I get told I'm "too good to be true" and the girls never are able to live up to the kind of relationship I aim for.

    On the other hand, while I live on my own and such, apparently I don't have enough to be in a relationship for a lot of other girls out there who seem to live in the land of school yet never get a job. But since I only have an associate's they think I am unmotivated before getting to know me. I don't make a lot of money, but yet I have less debt than people who make 2x+ than me. Ironic isn't it? I met a girl who admitted to me she had maxed out CC's. Very scary.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I never get involved with just anyone. I hate casually dating. I hate just screwing around with someone. It feels cheap, shallow, and weak to me. I want my relationships to be meaningful and loving, truly.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No one thinks they are B, but there are definitely people like that out there...

    0|0
    0|0
    • Yeah I agree, let's assume the people who are like that didnot want to reply. but I'm still surprised that there is a number of people who don't date anyone for the heck of it.

    • Show All
    • so you see my reasoning there! for me the effort invested with random people is not worth the outcomes...;)

    • So many people like B.

  • I agree with you, but I think you're a bit too picky. No offense, but you're single in your 30's and have only liked 3 guys in your whole life. Re-tooling may be a good idea.

    0|0
    0|0
    • so you're saying I should only get with guys so I would not be judged as picky? I think I'm just in the wrong place , at the wrong time unfortunately .

    • Show All
    • that might sound dumb but you know when you like someone just a bit,so there's a potential interest but then you can see the end of this potential interest, it's an instantaneous turn off,I automatically loose interest. Example:meeting someone and realizing afterward that the person is religious ,and my interest start fading away=my objectivity that overrides my emotions unconsciously, which prevents me from getting involved with people.

    • as long as I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can keep going. I'm all invested in someone who can make me feel, there's no end. eventually everything might have an end, but I'm good as long as I can't see the end, it doesnot happen often.

  • well I'm a really good looking guy and I'm only attracted to really good looking girls which is rare

    0|0
    1|0
    • I'm not talking about why you're attracted, I'm talking about how often you crush.

  • You don't give enough choices.

    It's true that a lot of people seem to play musical chairs, where as soon as the music stops and they find they're single, they rush into another relationship to avoid being single. It's like they care more about being in a relationship than who they're with.

    That's pretty silly.

    But it's equally silly to throw all your eggs in one basket. For your situation, 3 crushes in 9 years is a pretty small number, especially when you can't know if you really go with that person until you're in a steady relationship with them. I think I used to be like you a lot, but it didn't get me very far.

    For me, I like to keep an open mind, even if it's not someone I'm strongly attracted to initially. There should of course be some reason you show interest though, but it doesn't have to mean you don't have reservations. Worst case, I learn that I was right, which is often the case but doesn't make it a waste of time to keep an open mind. I won't jump into anything or promise any commitment until I'm confident. But I want to keep my eyes open for any potential opportunity in life, even if I'm not sure what to make of it at first.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I know 3 crushes in 9 years is little, and I really don't know the reasons behind this, even though I was socially exposed to people, I used to get asked out on a daily basis at work, and most of these guys were highly appealing as far as looks, personality, education etc but I guess it's because I know they like me because of my looks or other things that are given or evident for me, things that all guys want, and I have and I want to be loved for different reasons,for other trait that have.

    • Show All
    • Well, good luck, hope things work well with your crush!

      I do get what you are saying, although I think you may inflate the difference between how a guy would look at you as a "mess" in the library and you being "dressed up" at a party. It may be more your perception right now. My personal belief is girls don't stop being pretty just because they stop trying.

    • Thank you :)

  • Yeah. It seems that people like you and me are rarities--most guys and gals seem to view dates like companies view job openings--fill it for now, even if you fire them as soon as possible.

    I just don't feel like asking women out, unless I know them enough to like them. It's not women's fault. Women show interest in me all the time, I get told I look like a movie star--I just don't feel it. Like, "Go hit on random women to get a date? Why?" So while plenty of people get tons of sex in college, I've genuinely liked and wanted to date... about one woman a year. So, yep, single, and not for lack of the woman wanting to help me out with that.

    (I have to wonder about the losers who gripe about how all women are gold diggers who only want rich movie stars, haha. I mean, even if you felt that, why would you publicly admit it?)

    2|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 10

  • i'm extremely picky and have only fallen in love twice.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I think your way but when ever you say how I approach relationships on here I get instantly down-voted. I'm all for monogamous FWB realtionships until you fall in love. I think the commitment aspect of love should be the last bit to come. It's far too easy to end up staying with the wrong guy because he's your boyfriend. It doesn't make FWB any less passionate and caring so long as everybody's on the same page and there's mutual respect. Relationships (BF/GF) are for love. It's the final test before deciding if you've met your life partner.

    In some ways I think this is more romantic than giving every guy you sleep with the title of boyfriend. Passion and suitability don't always go together but you'll miss your chance to explore when it's gone.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I will go on a date or two with almost anyone, just to see what could bloom, but I only progress it to a relationship if I know it will go far. I'm not into those few month relationships...too much energy goes into them for it to just end right away.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Normally, I don't think it's rewarding to go out with anyone because I feel it's a waste of energy and time.I don't even hang out with acquaintances if I don't like them. But If I face my ongoing crush and he's not interested in me anymore or he's involved with someone else already, I'm gonna START doing that to fix my shyness.

  • I am more like you. I have definitely had moré than 3 crushes in The last there years. I like to keep my options open but not to everyone. I Feel like dating should be with someone. You really care for not just The next person who pays you some attention. I Also Feel like when you go from person to person it deprives you of your independence and just makes it seem desperate and needy. When you go from person to person you Also might not be over The last person and could using people to help get over someone which is unfair to The person. In confusión I think that people should only go for people they really like instead of just everyone but they shouldn't be extremely picky to The point where they only like there people in niñe years.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm very easy going person, reserved and quite. I don't like to fight , I don't like to be jealous, or make my guy jealous,I would like to be able to share all activities, and giving him his space..etc.. but there are definitely things that I can't deal with. I can NOT be with a smoker, I can NOT be with somebody religious (different values)...few guys who tried to get my attention and I would've gave them a chance but they smoked, I just can't stand it,can't help it...

  • Yeah I am the same way I won't settle on just anyone just so I am not alone.I have to really be into them and feel a connection.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Voted A. I don't date people just to pass my time, which I feel is hurting. We can always meet up with friends or even do things independently to pass our time away, I wouldn't want to lead people on for my personal interest.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm a lot like you- which explains why I've been single for the majority of the past decade. It's not because I didn't have my share of offers, it's more because I will only spend my time with guys I truly like and am attracted to. I had my boy crazy phase of course, but it was short-lived and I learned a few things about myself a) I get bored easily if I don't have real feelings for a guy b) I'm definitely not the type of person who enjoys flings or random sex and c) I'd rather be single than waste my time with a guy I'm not into.

    I know many people who don't like to be alone, who believe the way to find the right person for them is by diving back into the fray after a break up. I've tried it that way, but it's just not for me. No judgement of those who do find it helps them or have found their match that way- whatever works for you.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one . Sometimes, I doubt my logic,but what maintains my confidence is that I also got my fair share of offers,unlike my friends, but what's their value, if we 're not finding any interest in the guys whom are asking us out. I went on two date with a guy I met through common friends,after the insistence of my friends that I should accept to go on a date. It was my first and last time and never repeated it.My real problem is when I like someone because I always

    • Show All
    • Yeah- it can be hard to express your feelings, especially when they tend to be stronger and more long-lasting when you take your time actually falling for a guy...

  • Same, I need most if the qualities I'm looking for

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ehh I don't know, of course I rather be with someone I like and have a bit more interest in then say some random guy. But,when it comes to dating, I guess you can say I'm a bit more open minded about it. Even if I'm not initially attracted to the guy or there's no "connection" right off the bat, I usually just like getting to know the person. Even if there's nothing "there". You probably say it's a waste of time, but time can only tell. Plus, I'm not one of those people who likes to rush things. I just like keeping my options open.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've only ever dated one guy and we've been together for 2 years...

    0|0
    0|0
    • how old are you? I've only been in one relationship, I'm 30 :)

    • Show All
    • Yeah I don't get the whole "dating" practically complete strangers thing. I would be so uncomfortable trying to get to know someone under those conditions. I'd rather go on a date with a guy I know is awesome and that I already get along with well and want to be in a relationship with. I can't crush on some guy just because he's good looking or something.

    • I wish guys can see that we don't care about looks...!

Loading...