Why does nobody on here ever accept that looks can hold someone back in dating?

I tried online dating using my pictures and someone else's pictures. I used the exact same profile and copied/pasted messages. Using my pictures and sending 250 messages I got 2 phone numbers, neither girl actually ever met me. Using the other guys pictures I got 3 phone numbers from within the first 20 messages.

Why does everyone seem convinced that it was my 'personality' and 'confidence issues' that prevented me from being successful? What brings them to this conclusion?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I got more responses having a worse physique then the physique I have now. So two people can have two opposite experiences. Girls don't just look at physique and face. They look at other things too. There's a whole lot of gold diggers online. So if you used a picture of a guy in a tuxedo, they could think you have money too.

    A lot of girls also feel that guys who look excellent have a high chance of being cocky which is a major turn off. So while girls may think the guy looks great, he can turn them off by glorifying himself way too much.

    You may have gotten numbers, but I hope you don't full on catfish these girls. Your confidence and personality issues people are saying here come from the fact that you're constantly making topics on them. You're saying it's impossible to get a date, that you're unattractive(and that women hate unattractive men), that you're ugly, and so on. These are things you are saying to people on GAG. So if you're saying you are unattractive that that women hate unattractive people you're telling women to hate you.

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    • No they just look at face. Maybe height.

      It seems very unlikely to me that every girl I messaged online and every girl I try to meet in real life has read my questions here.

What Girls Said 2

  • To make you feel better and to give you something else to work on...

    They want an attractive guy, and they don't see that when they look at your profile pictures.

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  • I think where you live, the girls are just shallow. Because it really isn't your looks. Whether or not you believe me is on you.

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    • To be fair where I am from is renowned for people being materialistic and shallow (and thick). I'm not sure where you are from but if you watched the TV show 'The Only Way Is Essex' you would understand what I mean.

What Guys Said 6

  • should be common sense.

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  • Actually I think most people here accept it. We are just surprised if looks are holding -you- back so much.

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  • I can repair a mirror by walking in front of it.

    I'm single.

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  • because I have seen even some of the most average looking, even very overweight guys with gorgeous women. as long as you have other great qualities, you just need to find the right woman.

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    • Oh wow you've seen it. Well I've spoken to God and he thinks you're full of sh*t.

    • it doesn't happen often but it does happen, sometimes the girl isn't that pretty, just prettier than the guy is good looking. here in the US girls settle for anything, all while being snobby towards quality guys. I can't explain it to you, I can't explain every single situation, but I have seen that the unexpected does happen. it's just a numbers game. you have to find the right girl.

  • I think women are more likely to try and rationalize the reason they dislike ugly guys by finding some other reason to dislike him, so they don't come to terms with the fact that they are just as shallow as guys. Like when they call a guy creepy when they really mean ugly. These women then teach the next generation that women don't care about looks since they have never been truthful to themselves about what they really want in a man. So a lot of people think that a man's looks don't matter as much as it does.

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  • From experience.

    Looks can only get you so far - essentially they can attract a girl when she has nothing else to base her attraction on. ie online dating.

    In person, such as in face to face meetings, you have a lot more than your looks going for you, and a girl has a lot more to base a conclusion on than just your looks.

    Most guys are not drop dead gorgeous hunks. So we learn pretty early on that personality and confidence (and yeah, a good sense of humour) are things which can work heavily in our favour in face to face encounters with the ladies.

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    • So you are essentially saying my looks are the cause for online dating but not for meeting women in person?

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    • I don't care what keeps a woman in a relationship. I'm not capable of getting a relationsip so it is irellevent to me.

    • Pay attention to what she said. Looks are not everything when it comes to attraction.

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