Does anyone here actually enjoy dating?

Dating isn't fun to me at all, it might be due to the fact that I haven't had a girlfriend in 5 years. I'm a shy disabled college student. Due to my disability, I am unable to work. I don't date or ask women out because I am broke and can't afford to take a woman anywhere. I am putting myself through college, that is why I am broke. I don't even flirt with women, I think they would find it creepy that a disabled guy is trying to talk to them. So I don't do it. I just assume women don't like me and I go on with my life. Overall, I don't enjoy dating. In fact, I hate it. Dating isn't fun Anybody else feel the same?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't let your disability define you. Love really is blind.

    Either way, answering the question...sometimes I enjoyed the actual date part with someone I clicked with, but I don't enjoy the anxieties surrounding it.

    It's not dating that's bad, it's our own critical self judgements, the awkwardness, and the potential for rejection...etc so forth. That PART of dating does suck.

    But it's truly all for good in the end if you carry on. You learn more about yourself and relationships by HAVING them. :)

    I hope you find someone special who makes you feel wonderful and content. Don't let your disability hold you back. :)

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What Girls Said 26

  • I don't like it most times but it's not because it's awkward it's because the majority of people have taken the fun out of it and they can't even do things right for a start, they jump straight to kissing on the first date, then straight into someone's bed and then think why were they screwed over?

    hahaha deary me... you would think they had to sense to realize it's because they gave themselves up too quickly which shows they don't respect themselves.

    Must people could not even take a single hint these days that you want them to interact more with you, I really like it when a guy is playful, tickles me and I hint to him to tease me but most guys just don't even take the hint at all and I made it as obvious as I could but yeh... it's just not fun because people don't interact with each other much no more, it's just like "just let me date you lets get this over and done with be my girlfriend/boyfriend NOW!"... lol for a start with most people we don't even know if we like them at first and it takes time but people just don't wanna know any more how important it is to not pressure people and show they can truly be there for them, loyalty isn't even there in others hardly.

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    • I wouldn't know if a woman was into me, if she was showing me those signs. I would assume she was just being friendly.

    • Haha that's the problem people have lost touch with their own instincts, when I want a guy to tease me I show it off in my body language and if I am having my doubt I just tell him he's being too serious for me but usually even that doesn't work, people these days just take everything personally and they act like "uhhh if you ain't gonna date me now then your piece of crap" bla de bla lol but what did they do to make me laugh? and make me feel at ease around them? nothing... lol they just demand

    • I don't understand body language either lbs

  • I think I like meeting people, which is what dating allows you to do in a way, but I hate the pretenses of dating. in some cases you go on a date and all the other person can think about is what underwear you're wearing when you actually want to have a meaningful non sexual conversation.

    sometimes it can be fun like hanging out with a great friend.

    about your disability. I think you are spot on however not on everything. hat I mean by that is I can understand why you wouldn't ask women out. also some women just have things about guys who aren't as physical as them. It's really terrible but I can see that side of the argument being valid as well. You shouldn't assume women don't like you. have you ever heard of a project called simple pickups? it's a YouTube channel and they have a video on how they pretended to be disabled and his on women. you should watch. link

    however from your wallet's and you (possible) credit's point of view, I would hold off on wining and dining women and just hang out in a park or something.

    but to really answer your question. dating sucks about 75% of the time. But That rare 25% makes it worth it.

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  • I don't like dating! It feels false.

    But don't assume your disability means girls won't like you - maybe some superficial or physically-oriented girls won't, but you'll know immediately which ones they are.

    Many girls will take their lead from you - if you're totally cool with who you are, including your disability, ie you 'own' it, they will respond positively and will actually respect how you're handling life's challenges. Competency is attractive in a man.

    If you come across as awkward or like you're uncertain if your disability will be an issue for the girl, they'll feel awkward and uncertain too.

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  • I hate it. I would love to have a serious boyfriend. I have been going on first date after first date and nothing. Its very awkward and then its worse when you have to reject a guy for a second date. I think most people and even rich people date dating its just very annoying. You are in college that is OK the best thing to do is too finish school and focus on yourself. Get a good job makes some money and then think about dating. Just think I graduated college last year and can't find a boyfriend, I feel very unwanted and have been putting so much effort in to find someone the problem must be me. I don't hear of anyone who puts this much effort into finding a guy, even one who is just half decent. I have not had sex in three years no one can believe it. Trust me on how depressing this is.

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  • No it's not fun I just got home from a date, such a mess. Plus you are super nervous before the date. You don't know what to wear, then in the first few seconds you realize, wow I spent waay too much time worrying about this. I really don't care if this guy likes me or not haha. So I think it's pretty nerveraking for everyone. It's nice that you would want to pay for dates a lot of guys don't know this tid bit. Good luck in your pursuit! I don't think anyone would think you are creepy it's only creepy if you say messed up things. Or if you are too aggressive it can come of creepy just pay attention to how the girl reacts. But if you don't put yourself out there and get your heart trampled on your heart will remain in a glass case perfect and unmarked and you will be okay but alone. I think it's true that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. You shouldn't do us girls a disservice, I'm sure you would make a girl very happy one day, and by not going for it you and your future Mrs. will never find each other. Never give up! It's not easy but in the end every heartbreak is worth it. I wish you the best in your pursuits.

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  • Dating is wonderful. You don't have to go around flirting with girls. Wait until you guys are friends. That's how it all starts and then flirt, get to know her and then date her if you like her. Dating isn't pointless and don't listen to all the people that is telling you it sucks. You have someone to look forward to seeing everyday, love on, compliment, trust, run to for problems, and so much more. They are with you to help you. You might not be good at flirting but neither am I. Just wait until the right person comes alone. Good luck:)

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  • Dude...you actually think someone wouldn't like you? To be totally truthful I had a major crush on this guy who had a disability. I don't know. I though he was strong and just plain awesome. Dude, so you can't work cause you're disabled. They should understand that. If they don't, they're insensitive pricks. So what if you can't take a girl out somewhere fancy. Most girls just want to just cuddle with a guy and watch a good movie, sitting on a couch. Only bitches like men with money. Seriously. I don't think its creepy that you find someone attractive and tell them. Every woman likes a good compliment (unless its from some horny grandpa ew) You just got to find the right person. People in this world can be cruel but that doesn't mean everyone is. Just show them who you are. Cmon be strong. Everyone deserves a chance at love. I believe in you dude.

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    • If a woman had shown me signs of affection. I would assume she was just being friendly lol.

  • Same here! dating sucks...but when your passed the phase where two of you are comfortable with each other then it's gonna be fun. The anxiety of meeting a person and knowing if you gonna be liked or not sucks as well. Some dates will end up being friends with the person, so it's not that bad :).

    My advice to you is just to focus on your studies then go back to dating when you're done with college and your financially stable. It's really a factor that you can treat a girl on a date :)

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  • I like totally disagre. I love dating. Right now I'm dating this guy who is super! He's a doctor :X. And he super sweet like yesterday we were out on a date! Finally He's usually busy. And we were like walking by this shoe shop and I saw these like pink shoes. They were like so cute OMG like <3. And like he was like do you want them. I was like hells yeah like OMG! And then he bought them for me Omf gonna try them out 2morrow I'm going to my friends birthday party xoxox . So yeah dating is super! xoxoxoxo

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    • in my opinion dating is not the same as a relationship, and it is hard to take this answer seriously, it looks like a 16 year old hacked your account

    • are you a guy pretending to act the way you think women act ?

    • Um what, OMG like you know what I think both of you are just bitter cause your like ugly!

      Ugly girls like do have a harder time dating so maybe that's it.

      It's not my fault blame motehr nature xoxoxo <3 <3

  • i don't like it. its fake. I like spending time with someone I like. but once its a date all the veneers and bullsh*t rules come into play and no one gets bavk to being themselves till its done.

    all the advice on dating is about being we you're not. so I see dating as pointless because its completely false advertising plus it usually involves doing stuffy boring things. id rather be running around barefoot climbing trees and hopping roofs riding trains hiking swimming or visiting animal shelters.

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    • I think all of the activities you listed at the bottom of your post would be GREAT date ideas. Our second date was an awesome hike, watching the ice break up on shore in spring, first kiss, it was great!

    • lol fair enough. I do tend to be slightly biased towards dating.. I've held a negative view of it for most of my life.

      i think I just don't like all the bs around 'darting' that a lot of people-not all-out themselves through and in return expect from others.

      i think of you genuinely like someone,sitting on a cardboard box looking at the sky for 6 hours is amazing... regardless of the title.

      your 'date' admittedly sounded quite nice ;)

  • I enjoy it,for the most part.

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  • well you can just assume that, there are still down to earth people but you have to find them. Dating is not fun for you because of the reasons you listed above, that's just you. Darting is general is fun. but people who tend to agree, have their own reasons, like u.

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  • Yes I do, but I'm married so I enjoy date nights with my hubby

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  • Dating doesn't stimulate me much!

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  • No, I hate it as well. It's really awkward the first few dates and it takes way too much time and money for a person you don't know. You don't even know if it'll work out. So all of it is very painful.

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  • Hell no I don't enjoy it.

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  • I would if I was in an actual date because why wouldn't I enjoy it if it's with someone I love

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  • Dating is hard, and no it is not always fun, but hopefully it is most of the time. It really is just a means to an end. No one wants to date forever, they just want to meet someone special. That's all it is, a formal way of getting to know someone with the preconcieved notion that the interaction is happening because both parties are pursuing romantic interests. The really fun part is once you find one you want to keep.

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  • Yes even though I barely date.

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  • Yes its stressful

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  • I like dating because I don't have to pay for anything

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  • love it!

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  • Yeah sure

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  • just try to meet girls who you will enjoy spending time with.

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    • if they give guys who aren't good looking a chance first

  • yes, if I like the person.

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  • I enjoy hanging out and having fun and I only take my exclusive relationships seriously.

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    • and I do not consider dating a relatioship

What Guys Said 4

  • I do, You don't have to be rich to date... You just have to be able to be creative and entertain a girl... If she complains you aren't spending money on her would you really want to be with her?

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  • You need to be assertive, to overcome your disability.

    Dating can be good or bad. It's good if the other person is receptive.

    In your case, the work is even easier, so to say. Because she will be aware of your disability, if she accepts to date you, that means she doesn't see your problem as a problem, and that your disability won't come in the way.

    So be funny, be assertive, be kind, be what a nice girl dreams of. And you will find someone.

    Far more easily than if you never approach anybody.

    Good luck :)

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  • It's the absolute pits...

    I wonder why I just can't stop though... it's just awful.

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  • you have at least had a girlfriend before, so that means it is a guartantee for you to get a girlfriend again

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