Help! How do I tell him I'm not interested?

I met this guy online... and he IS really nice... so I gave him my number and thought, why not? We went out today and sure the conversation was flowing... but I am in no way attracted to him and there's no way I could see myself kissing him. Our personalities definitely do mot match. I'm easy-going, but even this was a bit of an awkward stretch for me.

I guess I feel guilty because he paid. I insisted that he didn't and he insisted that he did. In an attempt not to be awkward I let him. Now I feel like I owe him! It was a first date and I'm guessing the bill was around $60-70. Idk, maybe.

I was going to pull the we should be friends line on him... but I'm not even sure if that'd work. See, he didn't present himself well... he, looks, acts, and sounds WAY older than me... I mean, he even kind of talked to me like a kid! He's only 5 years older, but it seemed like he was at least 10 by the way he acted. I just can't see myself having fun dating someone like that.

What do I do!? How do I tell him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wait until he contacts you. Don't use the lame friend line. That's not the truth. You guys aren't going to be life long friends, and unless he's lonely, he won't want to anyway. I doubt he was online looking for a friend. Just be upfront, and thank him for his kindness, and they date you guys went on. Then make it clear that you're not interested in continuing to see him. That's it. Just pretend if the roles were reversed... and treat him as you would want to be treated if someone was no longer into you. Basically, be polite, but clear about what you want.

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    • Okay, you're probably right. I feel bad... usually I do give second chances, but I see no way where this could improve. If he had had an awesome personality then I wouldn't care... but the looks AND the personality weren't there. I'm looking to make friends... but maybe that isn't fair? Should I even bother asking? No... I don't even know if I'd want him as a friend. I kinda got a creepy vibe from him somehow... he wanted to know so many personal details... where I live, parents jobs

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    • Gotcha. I finally wrote him back this morning and said I didn't see it going any further, he's a nice guy and he'll find someone great etc... he just wrote me back "no worries" with a smiley face.

    • Good.

What Guys Said 3

  • just don't give him indication that your interested , eventually he'll get the hint , just tell him your busy if he asks you out again

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    • isn't that kinda mean?

    • well I don't know at some point he's going to start to realize your not interested anyways , most guys can tell after a while and if he's online its not like he isn't capable of meeting other people so he'll get over it

  • Just be straight up with him and let him know how you feel. You might feel like a jerk, but you're only being honest, and leading him on will only be worse.

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    • I did it! I wrote him back this morning and said that I didn't really see things working out any further and that he's a nice guy and he'll find someone great... something like that. He wrote me back with a "no worries" and a smiley face! I was kind of surprised!

  • Just call him and tell him.

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    • Probably a good idea. I just am one of those people who always believes in second chances... but this time I really don't see a second chance... there's no way. It's like he was a football player who got bashed around too much...

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    • For all of Mandom, I thank you.

    • hahaha oh good, you're welcome? lol

What Girls Said 1

  • Well you're just not simply attracted him. Don't tell him that you're "not attracted" to him, because that might be a little to harsh to say, just tell him that you're not looking/ready for any sort of relationship right now.

    If you really want to stop seeing him, don't answer his phone call, go offline if he's online... He will get the message (not interested.)

    And by the way don't feel guilty about the bill, he invited you after all right? But if you feel really guilty pay it back..

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    • Yeah, I was in no way shape or form attracted to him... I mean, I'll date someone with a great personality even if they aren't stellar looking... but even the personality... nope. I do feel bad... but it kind of is what it is

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