Would you call/text a girl almost daily, stop abruptly, then pick up again in a couple of weeks (like normal)?

A guy will call/text me several times every day for days and days, then suddenly go completely cold for up to two weeks. I figure he's not interested, right? Only he pick right up where he left off and starts the pattern all over again. What's going on with this guy? Is he just messing with me? This has been going on for months now!

  • He likes you. Give it more time.
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  • He's deciding if he likes you -- keeping tabs on you for now.
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  • He's just messing with you and may be doing the same thing with other girls at the same time.
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally, no... If I like someone I don't fanny about with it.

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    • No he's not messing with me? I just wonder about the hot-and-cold. Not sure what he thinks he'll gain from it.

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    • Maybe a few days, Personally if I like someone I can't really seem half bothered about it... I always give a girl a lot of attention. Most guys like myself do the same, the guys who don't are usually the ones who're players.

    • You're one of the good ones, then. :) Don't let the world get to you -- that's what happened to this guy. He says he was really different when he was in his 20s... more romantic, more attentive. Now... jaded, I guess, after relationships, but trying to explain things as we go along. While I don't expect him to be 100% with me every second, I expect him to want to spend free time with me, whether he's here or away for work. Some days I feel like I'm being pushy for wanting that.

What Guys Said 9

  • Question: Are you sure he doesn't already have a girlfriend (maybe whom he's unhappy with)while stringing you along as a backup? I used to do that so that's why I ask. I was unhappy in my relationship so I started gathering my "back-up's" through conversation. It's a messed up and immature thing to do I know but, It happened.

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    • He doesn't have a girlfriend -- I'd know that from our common friends -- but it's possible his friends are trying to set him up with other people since (until very recently) we had agreed that we didn't want a relationship with anyone. There's no time, etc. Recently the conversation changed, but the communicative pattern hasn't, so I worry.

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    • You're right. Thanks!

    • You're very welcome :)

  • I do that sometimes when I like a girl, but think I like her to much to objectively be able to tell if she likes me back. So what I do, I first show some initiative with messaging and then stop. If she then shows some initiative, then it's more likely she likes me back. If she doesn't message me for weeks, then I can safely assume she doesn't care about me. And yes, if have known to go on for months if she's sending very mixed signals.

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  • Sounds like he's keeping you on the back burner while he looks into other options. I'd drop him. You don't need to be someone's fail-safe...

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  • I mean he doesn't have to start the conversation with you all the time. It should be 50/50 you have a phone to make contact to so use it.

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  • I think it depends how the conversation went between the two of you when he is texting you.

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    • Positive -- really positive.

    • Hm that's really weird then, seems very very odd

    • I know. It's just how he is. I'll nudge him with a short text, then he's all chatty for days. He'll call and talk to me for an hour. It's like we were never apart, and then? Nothing. Completely cold for days.

  • Yeah, if things didn't work out with the girl I was interested in. I hope you aren't a booty call and not know it.

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    • No, I don't think that's quite the case. He'll spend a few days really texting/talking to me when he's not at work, but then there's also a lot of odd silences when he is at social events and just sort of forgets. When things are quiet for him again he'll call/write. I've talked to him about this -- not to just write when he's bored.

    • He is not into you. He is just using you for virtual company when he is lonely.

    • Thanks!

  • Maybe he is in jail...

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  • Sounds like he's a typical guy, who needs a regular amount of space from a relationship. Two weeks away every single time though, is a bit much. I don't think this guy is ready for a serious relationship. But I don't think he's messing with you.

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  • This one's easy. You thing when he's texting and calling you that you're the only game in town. You're not. He's also calling and texting other girls. And while you're playing games, not getting together, etc., etc., some of the other girls are going out with him and having fun. When he goes off the radar, it's because he's spending time with one of the other girls in REAL LIFE--not through a pocket device.

    Stop living in the virtual world and upgrade yoursef to the real world. You interested in this guy? Spend time with him. Otherwise find a guy you DO want to see in real life.

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