I have 2 questions that I would really really like some answers on;
I have a pretty close friend named Logan. Things in my eyes are pretty complicated.. To make this short and straight to the point, we act like boyfriend/girlfriend whemever we hang out, but without the title. He says he likes me, but when I was dating someone months ago, he would always flirt with me and say I deserve better, but never wanted to date. Recently I started talking to that guy I was dating, and I thought about giving him a second chance, but Logan was bashing the entire idea of it.. Another thing that I notice he does is talk about his exs, but whenever I talk about mine, he gets mad. Why is that?
I honestly needed to step back and really think if I should keep trying or just move on. I picked move on because if nothing has happened, then nothing will. But my second question goes like this... I woke up to a random message on Facebook from a guy who I've always thought was super cute. I never really talked to hom before so I thought I was seeing things. So, I replied to his message and we have been talking for the last couple of days, and everything is going good so far. We have been getting a little bit flirty and such. But, the real problem is, he's very good friends with this other guy logan. I didn't know this when I started talking to him. So, if Logan does find out that I'm talking and flirting with another guy, who he's friends with, will that ruin or friendship or do you think he has no right to be mad?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and help me!:)
Most Helpful Guy
Possibility #1: Logan likes you and wants you to be with him. However, he's scared to ask to you out. Perhaps he's not sure you'll say yes. Or he subconciously is trying to sabatoge his own relationship success. [I've been reading books on an area of psychology called Transactional Analysis. Dr. Eric Berne, who came up with TA talks about 'lifescripts' - and how some people have destructive lifescripts. Some people don't even realize that they are the ones who are destroying their own success.] So maybe that is why he hasn't asked you out.
Possibility #2: Logan doesn't like you enough to want to date you (which is why he hasn't made a move), but he doesn't want you to be successful in the area of relationships. Basically, he's miserable and wants you to be miserable too, because it makes him feel better to know that you won't do better than him when it comes to relationships. Maybe that's why he gets upset at the thought of you dating someone.
"Another thing that I notice he does is talk about his exs, but whenever I talk about mine, he gets mad. Why is that?"
He might be talking about his ex's in order to highlight the fact that he's had girlfriends in the past - and therefore increase his value in your eyes (if he wants to date you). He might be thinking that if he talks about his ex's then you yourself will think "well if all of these women chose to date him, then he must be a swell guy!"
"So, if Logan does find out that I'm talking and flirting with another guy, who he's friends with, will that ruin or friendship or do you think he has no right to be mad?"
He definitely does NOT have a right to be mad at you. It's his own fault that he hasn't asked you out and pursued you.0