Little back story here...
First off, I am a pretty "nice guy." In a good sense of the meaning. But in the dating world, it seems that term can mean one of two things. A woman calls a guy a nice guy as a sort of rejection to any romantic hopes. "You're a nice guy but..." OR The nice guy syndrome. Where a man thinks he's such a nice guy, but women don't want nice guys. So it's sort of a defense mechanism "nice guys" use to cope with rejection.
But I have come across something that seems entirely different... I met a girl on an online dating site. We went on a date, a long trip to the beach, then I crashed at her place. slept in her bed but no sex. There was lot of sexual tension, but she said she was going to be a "good girl" and hold off on that for a while. So I came back to her place the next weekend. We had a few drinks and things were tense again. I ended up sleeping with her this time. It wasn't mind-blowing, but I'm pretty sure it was good for us both. The next day she made sure to scorn me for the marks I left on here neck from kissing her. Seemed like a kind of playful way of saying she enjoyed last night.
We live about 40 minutes apart, so we text throughout the day usually. I'm very assertive and also very responsive when people talk to me. I feel like it's rude to ignore texts or ignore someone when they are saying something to you. Also, I genuinely like to listen to what she has to say. So I guess, I seem like a "nice guy" right? I mean, I imagine a lot of guys ignore texts half the day and don't seem overly interested. I guess I may seem a bit over enthusiastic, but this is what happens when I like someone.
Anyways, yesterday.. She randomly asked me "Have you ever been called a nice guy" I said "maybe a few times.. yeah I guess I think of myself as a good person" She says "It might not be a good thing to hear in the "guy world" lol but you are a nice guy" I said "thanks, I try not to be an a**hole lol" Me again "so uhh, is that a good thing" Her "Yes it's a good thing" I say "Good cause I do like you" She says "I like you too :)"
So uhh, what do you all think of that? I've never had a woman come out and literally tell me I'm a nice guy, at least without the "but... I think we should be friends" part, or something like that.
Could this be the start to... a slow, easy let down? Or am I looking waaaaay too into this? Why would she tell me outright I'm a nice guy? Could she just be being assertive and want me to know she likes that I'm the "good guy" type? I imagine most woman desire a "nice guy" but also want the attributes you typically find in not-so-nice guys. You know, nice body, good looking, confident, aggressive etc. I don't mean to toot my own horn here, but I am a confident, well built man. And apparently a nice guy too... So what is she trying to tell me here?
Thanks in advance for any input.
I want to emphasize the fact that there was really no "friend zone" situation with this girl. I never hesitated to engage her during our meetings. Everything seemed to go extremely smooth on both ends. Lots of talking, no awkward silence or even slightly uncomfortable moments. And I was aggressive enough to carry the intimacy we had into sex. This is why I'm kinda confused she chose to compliment me by calling me a Nice Guy.
Most Helpful Guy
You seem like a guy who has things well thought out in his head...but can't act out what he knows he should be doing. Instead, you let your high interest level show through, and control your words, and actions
When a woman asks you questions out of the blue like that you should deflect them with humor, or fire back questions at her. Never get pinned down with questions like that. NEVER answer them with serious heart felt answers either. Imagine how Jim Carey would answer a quesiton like that. He would say something that's insanly funny and ridiculous.
You can be a polite guy who shows respect without being considered the "nice guy".
If you like this girl, all you need to be concerned about is getting more time in with her. This means getting dates...and watching for red flags. The sex is gonig to kill your chances with her. You gave her the store already. You were not a challenge. You both failed here.
The way you deflect text messages from her is...every time she texts you comments, or questions...simply reply with. We can discuss this on our next date. If respond each time with that message...she will stop texting you. Never show that your interest is higher than what she is showing you. You always need to show much lower interest in her, than she shows you. This is very important especially early on, before she's your girlfriend. Guys fall in love faster than women...make sure you don't show that you're getting ahead of her. Make her wonder how you feel about her. Do this by pulling her to you...and then pushing her away gently speaking. Two steps forward...then one step back. Good luck2
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