Over reaction or not?

So I was round my boyfriends house and he mentioned that he had been texting another girl. I must admit I have had a peek at what he said and it seems she met him on his lunch break from work, and at the end of the messages there was a kiss, and he doesn't usually put kisses at the end of text messages. Am I looking to much into this?

also I should add that recently there have been rumors that I was cheating on him, but that was sorted and the person who started them has admitted that they did.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You're not overreacting. He's flirting with her. In my opinion, telling him to simply break off contact with her won't fix the issue: that for some reason he is seeking attention from other women.

    Does he still believe you cheated on him? Is there a problem in your relationship that would cause him to want to drift to someone else? Is he bored? Is he just a dirt bag with no respect for whomever he's dating?

    Without fixing the underlying cause for his behavior, your relationship is shot. And assuming you do figure out the underlying cause, it could still be reason enough to end it.

    You should fess up about going through his phone. Apologize for it but let him know what turned up. And sit down with him and talk through this. Don't let him blow it off by trying to turn the argument against you or simply saying he won't do it again.

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    • he won't see it as he's done something wrong, he'll see it as me over reacting when he didn't.

      and I don't think there is an issue with our relationship, I don't know about him though. I'll talk to him

    • If he can't acknowledge that you're not OK with him doing things like that, then he's not a good match for you.

      And if there isn't a problem with the relationship (that you know of), he's probably just a dirt bag who doesn't respect you, which also means he's not relationship material.

What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe, he stopped trusting you when those rumors were around and decided to start something on the side. I would definitely be worried though. You had no right to snoop through his phone, so I don't know how you can bring this up with him. Just ask about the girl he's been talking to. I mean, if they work together, meeting at a lunch break may not be that big a deal. Honestly, see what you can figure out about her. What do you mean by a kiss? A kissy face definitely symbolizes a flirtatious relationship. Tell your boyfriend your concerns ask him to stop contacting her or dump him on the spot. If he doesn't listen to your request, then you have to end it.

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    • they don't work together.

      and I don't think it's entirely fair to dump him straight away since he was so trusting when the rumors started, and believed what I told him.

    • That's good that he trusted you. Make sure you talk to him though, tell him you trust him, but this really concerns you. See what he has to say. Sorry your relationship is so dramatic.

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