About two years ago I dated this guy who I really liked… at the time everything was going great (he was such a gentleman, taking me out and really treating me like a lady), he respected me and showed me that he liked me and was interested. I believe it was on our first date that we briefly talked about our ex’s and he mentioned his. He explained that he couldn’t be in a relationship because he liked me and he would take me seriously but right now he just wasn’t ready. Down the line he started hitting me up, calling texting, messaging me on Facebook, and make some sort of contact through social media- all of which I ignored. He would text me saying, let’s hang out and I would constantly blow him off and make excuses… Then recently I would think about him and he would suddenly text me- keep in mind that I have been dodging him for MONTHS… So finally I decided to respond and see what he wants/what he’s trying to get out of this. He wanted to go out on a date, I agreed (he was so persistent, I was curious about the whole thing). We went out the first time, I picked a nice spot and we hit it off immediately- we have great chemistry! First date went well- NO KISS nothing. He called 2 days later asking to take me out on a date. 2nd date he takes me to a really beautiful fancy restaurant. We then go have a drink by the beach. We kiss for some time and had a great night. After that he calls me about 2 days or a day later and asks to go out on Saturday night! I tell him I don’t have plans and that sounds great… 3rd date: We go out Saturday, he brings me to yet another stunning restaurant that I’ve never been to, then asks if it’s OK to stop by his friend’s birthday at a bar (I agreed)- ends up his brother is there too so I end up meeting a bunch of his friends and brother. We were there for no more than 45min. and he says let’s go. We started making out in the car, one thing led to another and we got heavy in the backseat. We did NOT have sex but we got pretty wild and had fun. It wasn’t weird after and he was being sweet. We ended the night and I left and that was that. We talked before then and before we can even get too crazy I told him I didn’t want to have sex and he told me he really liked me and cares about me and totally respects that. I haven’t heard from him since and I haven’t reached out either. Why isn’t he calling? Is this a game he’s playing? Should I give him his space? We didn’t have sex or disrespect myself in any way. What we did was a mutual thing, we have amazing sexual chemistry and I don’t think it was such a huge deal. He said he likes me and is clearly showing it. WHAT WENT WRONG? I read the (rubber band theory) about men and how they need space after getting intimate with a woman because they feel like they lose their independence, but I also read that if he doesn't call after 5 days it’s over…?! I’m so confused. Can someone please explain to me what’s happening or give me insight/advice on what I can do?!
Most Helpful Guy
First off...you need to CALM down. Five days? Big deal. Isn't he worth waiting on? Honestly, I was getting tired of reading about him calling every 2 days asking for a date. There's a million of reasons that he hasn't called. All of which may have NOTHING to do with you. Maybe he realized he was being too predictable. Who knows. My point is..why he hasn't called doesn't matter at this point. You've only been on 3 dates. You guys don't owe each other anything. You guys have played your little games in the past. Now after 5 days you're thinking the worst?
Always give a guy a maximum of 10 days between contacting you. If he doesn't contact you in 5 more days...he's HISTORY, forever. Let me repeat. Ten days is the DEADLINE. The best thing you can do is relax, and go about dating other guys. Maybe he'll call, maybe he won't. In 5 days...it won't matter if you ever hear from him again because he will have lost his chance at you...for good.1