My romantic life has spiraled into craziness!

I want to start out by saying that there is 3 guys, none I am having sex with, only one that I've gone farther than kissing with.

Guy one: lives 6 hours away. I see him about 10-12 times per year. Known him for a while but never romantic until now. Something changed last year. He writes me letters( he goes to a far away college) and it nearly hurts myheart to be without him. We aren't dating but when we are together we might as well be. We made an agreement on this, and that during the time away we'd consider ourselves single-free to do as pleased.

Guy 2: known him for several years through school always talked about dating, but wanted to wait until I was 18. His ex screwed him up really badly, and he's trying hard to get over her but thinks it wouldn't be fair to date me knowing that of he had a chance he'd pick her. (he can't because of her family). He's do comfy to be around and tells me we will date later but he's not ready yet. We do stuff. But he doesn't take me on dates. I just come over and hang out pretty much. Right now we both consider ourselves single. One of my guy friends says he treats me like meat, but the way I ser it we are both two broken people ANC we are doing out best to make ourselves and each other feel s little better. I just worry I'm going to screw up and die alone.

Guy 3: is the newbie. He's a friend of a friend and the absolute sweetest guy I've met. He took me on a magical date and got me flowers. I never get flowers! And he'd like to go on another one. I told him when he asked me out that I was interested on someone else too and he didn't mind. He's not the most fit guy out there, but he seems like he'd do anything for me and is kind end sincere.

I feel kind of awkward going on a second day with guy 3 because of the other guys. I just don't know how to react. Any advice?


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What Guys Said 2

  • 3. one had his chance and 2's not taking his!

    If there's one thing that I know, it's that we see a reflection of ourselves in every situation of our lives, and from what I can see, you've got two patterns in your life...

    "What I want is right there, but I can't have it because of X" and

    "What I want is all over the place, it's here, here and here, and it's be so much easier if it were all combined" (like all these guys into one...the connection you have with 1, the attraction to 2 and the romance of 3)

    You know 3 is the one 2 choose (LOL) you just won't let yourself.

    1 is familiar to go, there's such a deep connection there, there's such a closeness but such a distance between you, plus there's the fact ofhe didn't like you for all that time previous and then something changed (in you) that made him change his mind. (and I'm guessing that change in you also is the thing that "sparked" your love life). Too late buster! if you loved her so then why did you wait for her to change before you acted?

    2, I'm guessing is the fittest of the lot and the one you're most attracted to. He was the one who you never forgave yourself for not taking the chance right? You waited, he ended up falling HARD for someone else and now you want to fix the regret. You want him but he wants her so he doesn't see you as any more than a friend (sometimes only calling you becasue he can't talk to her?).

    You see what I mean with the whole "I can't have it because of X" thing? (and I hope I'm right bout all this or I'm just gonna come across as an ass, assuming I am, 'll go on). The one thing I wanted to say more than anything esle and I'm just gonna say it bluntly. That X that you're allowing to stop you, is that thought that you are broken and that because of that you are going to "screw up" and die alone.

    Making mistakes in the past, DOES NOT break you (beleive me I've f***ed up bigger than most) ,it MAKES you, and being perfect and Not Screwing up guarantees you nothing but a boring life. You don't need to be approved by others, you don't need to please, prove to or impress them before you can have what you want. Trying to do so is an impossible task (tried that too)!

    The ONLY THING YOU NEED TO DO to have what you want is to be happy with who you are! That's it. You're a brilliant collection of all your expereinces, lessons, f***ups, thoughts, beliefs values. Every moment your alive adds to who you are and you're never the same person for two consecutive moment. Be Happy getting where you have gotten and as you travel along you'll get more opportunities to go where you haven't.

    3 is the guy who is fascinated from the get go about that collection that is you and he wants to know more, he doesn't see you as broken, he just see himself as wining to get to go on a date with you and he's doing all he can to show you just how lucky he is. and as long as this guy remembers to have his own life and be happy with WHO HE IS then you two will be GREAT together.

    Frank

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    • I think I didn't really explain last summer. Neither one of us changed, justwe because closer. Before we were just acquaintances. But like we both ended up being alone and we ha this wonderful afternoon and then we realized something was attractive about each other. We just never even crossed our minds as being more than Frieda. He was a face nota person before.

      And with 2, he says he doesn't talk to her anymore. He says that he sees a spark between us and Tht sometime he's sure it will light.

    • Well maybe the question you need to answer is why do I want each of them? Once you know that, figure out which if those reasons is more important to you and go from there.

      Hope that helps

  • Ok.

    Guy 2 drop. He has clearly put you into the he will screw you but not date you camp and you are his second choice. End it with him, that one will only cause you grief. The real choice is between guy one and guy 3.

    Guy one you are in love with. Period. The question is can you make a long distance relationship work? The odds are against you especially if he is free to blast whomever he wants. I'm sure this doesn't make you feel special. Once every 6 weeks is very tough to maintain. And if you both meet someone local its over anyways.

    My suggestion is dump guy one and two and give it 3 a shot. He is truly into you, and if you bring up the fact you like your men in shape, and nothing turns you on like a fit guy he will be in the gym within 24 hours. Keep encouraging him that he is looking sexier very day and you could have everything you want in guy three.

    Hope this helps Stuey

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    • Well, guy one ... I think that rule is more for my benefit. I don't think he's evert dated another girl. It's more for banging purposes.

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