Is it OK I contact my boyfriend after he suddenly disappeared for seven months?

I met this man from online dating. After six moths, he wanted to see me in real and meet my family. He seems interested, polite and gentleman. He promised to me and to my parents that he will come back after a year. But after 8 months of his coming back in his country, he suddenly disappeared. Not answering my offline messages, my text messages. He just texted me happy new year then gone till now. I did not know what happened to him, He normaly tells me what is going on him. He is a geologist and it hard to contact during winter time. I waited for his holiday months and still not contacting me. His holiday months is supposedly to be here in my country. But he never told me he's reason. I decided not contact him for three months. And now, I wanted to find closure. Is it OK I send him a written letter and ask his friend from Facebook on what happened to him? I just wan to know. I need some tips on what I am going to write in not desperate woman. I do like to appear as needy or clingy to him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Sure try it out

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What Girls Said 1

  • Hi Rosamia. Not sure if my answer is too late or not but if your purpose is to get closure only.. It's okay to text him or email him or call him.. If you have not interested in getting back together with him.. Getting closure from him is worth the try. You will not appear needy nor clingy to him because all you want is closure and not getting back together with him.. Be prepared in case he does answer you back or not. If he does answer you, see what he says. If he does not answer you, be prepared to just move on with your life. Even if it hurts that the man you want to be with does not want to be with you (whatever his reasons are), you should move on and be strong. I was fortunate to be able to get closure from my ex boyfriend last week. Last time I saw him was 6 months ago. I got my closure last week when he answered my text saying he met another woman and they are now living together. It hurts because, he promised to be in a relationship with me and we have plans of moving in together. But still, he decided to leave me for another woman. Anyone can change their mind at any given time. And that's the truth whether we like it it not.

    When a man is interested to be with you, he will do anything just to be with you. He will stay in contact with you no matter where he is or what type of job he has. No excuses. My best friend's husband is overseas. He's serving the U.S. Army and he is in the Middle East. He calls and text my best friend 3-5 times a day. He calls her everyday because he misses her. That's the kind of man you want. If a man does the opposite.. He does not call, does not text, does not email.. Chances are he has something to hide. Or he probably lost interest in you. In your case, 3 months of no contact from him.. That is a long time. If that man cares for you, he will contact you and he will not leave you confused like what you are now. Again, if it's closure that you want, try to text, email or contact him. Just be prepared for the outcome even if his answer is not what you want to hear. Whatever he says, just accept it. If he does not answer you, the only closure you can do for yourself is to move on with your life.. Be strong for yourself no matter what happens. If I'm in your shoes, I will not get back together with him because there's something else going on with him that he's not telling you. If he was interested still with you, he will not let months and months go by without reaching out to you. I know it is easier said than done but be strong for yourself. You deserve a better man than he does. Hope this helps. Good luck.

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