Is it bad that I've only had hookups and dates but no relationships at 23?

[Anonymous]

So I'm 23 years old and I've had dates, hookups, and girls that I'd see for a short period, but no actual relationships or girlfriends. I will say that this is better than getting nothing at all, but is this a turnoff? I'm not trying to sound like a manwhore because I'm not, far from it. It's just that it's all I've been able to get. I've also lied about this to people and on dating sites. I feel like it'd raise a red flag if I'm this age and they know I haven't had a girlfriend before. Is it really that big of a deal or am I just making it one?

[Turtleluv]

If you want a relationship I'd say it's a big deal. If you just want sex then you're doing great. If you really want a relationship I think you have to date for awhile before having sex. Having sex doesn't seal the girlfriend/boyfriend deal unless either of you thinks it does. But actually knowing someone with their clothes on is kind of important for a relationship.

Why don't any of these women turn into relationships. Do they choose to leave or you?

I'd say take things slower coffee, dessert, dinner, parks, play tennis, arcades, etc. Any guy I've met in a bar, gotten drunk with, or slept with quickly has never turned into a relationship.

[Asker]

It's been a mix of things. Sometimes it's been me leaving due to no connection and vice/versa. Other times it's because I was leaving for school and didn't wanna have a long term relationship. Another time there was a girl who I had no issue with except that she was very quiet. I didn't expect her to talk all the time, but it'd be quiet unless I was the one talking. It felt like an interview more than a conversation when we talked and it felt kinda awkward.

[Sammm1789]

I don't think its a bad thing, it just shows you haven't found anyone you really care about enough yet and your not going to waste your time on someone you know is wrong. Plus everyone has needs so hooking up once in awhile id say is pretty normal. The only worry it would bring in most females is that you don't know how to act in an actual relationship, id be afraid that you might try and pull some high school bull in the scene you don't know how a girl wants to be treated in a relationship.

[Asker]

Not knowing how to act is a big part of it. The girl who used me as a rebound recently seemed really into me at first. She'd call (to hear my voice and text a lot, said how cute, funny, and sweet I was. The day after our first date, she asked about our 2nd date, said she wanted to make out again. Later on, I brought up that my parents wanted to meet her and she said it was soon. I didn't think much of it since she asked to go to my house on the 1st date and checked out my family photos.

[Sammm1789]

If I were you I would have deff waited on meeting the folks fer awhile, you two are just getting to know each other when you go to meet someone parents it a sign of seriousness. That can really scare a girl, too serious too fast.

[PastelColours]

If I liked you and you told me this, I would worry that you might not take anything serious. It might be a turn-off for some girls if they want a long, committed relationship. But it's not too late. You're only 23 ! You still have plenty of time to get into a relationship :)

[Asker]

Yeah, the thing is a lot of times when I did want a relationship with a girl, it would never pan out. Either they weren't interested or taken. Most of my luck with women happened when they were the ones initiating it and seeked me out first. Usually, they just wanted to hookup and even when I tried to have a relationship, it still didn't work out.

[Anonymous]

Here? Yes. That's a huge problem considering majority hate hooking up and people who hook up. In reality? It's not a big deal, you just haven't found the right one yet. Don't worry brother.

[Anonymous]

well, I am old school. and that's exactly part of the prob. w. dating nowadays.

that girls are just having sex w.o enjoying it as part of an emotional bond.

guys have no prob. just having sex...

if you want then don't have sex w. them till you get to know the girl and have a talk about being serious.

[Anonymous]

don't see anything wrong with that be glad you have been laid before

[Anonymous]

So you don't want anything serious? Meh, me neither.

[Asker]

No that isn't the case at all. In fact the last girl I went on a few dates with, I wanted a serious relationship with because we had so much in common and thought she was gorgeous on top of it and then I ended up finding out I was just her rebound guy and used to get over her ex. I was very hurt by that. That's a whole different issue on it's own though.