Did I really overreact?

My boyfriend of went out drinking yesterday. We had some disagreement two days ago.

He first texted me if I was having a bad week back then, which I told him I did before. He then texted me "I hope your week gets better. feel better kid, please be happy" I was happy at that moment because I have been a bit upset since I felt like he didn't care about me that much, which kinda lead to the disagreement in the first place, and I didn't know he was drinking. But then 2 min later, he texted me "I am drunk! surprise!" I got upset immediately because I felt like he only said that because he's drunk. He never really says affectionate things anymore when he's sober. And then procceed to a lot more drunk text which I chose to just say "wow. 8pm and you are drunk" and ignored most of the rest. He then said how I was ignoring his text, getting revenge, how he's not that drunk but drunk enough to harass me and judge my response.

Later that night, I texted him saying I thought he really meant it when he told me to by happy but turned out he was just drunk. He then said "drama queen, I am not that drunk" I told him I wasn't trying to pick a fight or getting revenge as you said. He was like "relax kid"

He's not really affectionate when he's sober, only a few affectionate texts and acts from him when he's under the effect of alcohol. So it bothers me a bit, since I feel like he doesn't mean it when he says affectionate things when he's drunk

Did I really overreact?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i think you overreacted a bit btu at the same time he didn't handle stuff well. he was clearly drunk not "not that drunk" but real drunk because most guys don't text that hardcore unless booze is really in play.

    it seems to me that you should never start a fight or question a person's motivations when they are drunk because oyu are not going to get a rational or reasonable response. you wait til they're sober and you've had time to process your feelings and then effectively and non-confrontationally express them.

    it seems to me that you want a person who expresses their feelings, that's fine. if this guy won't do that unless wasted maybe you should re-evaluate if he isthe guy for oyu. you need ot have a productive conversation in which you explain to him how you feel (lack of affection, expressing of feelings) and say you want more and are willing to work with him if he commits to doing so. if you've already ahd these convos then maybe you're just with a guy who isn't going to do that and then you've got to make the decision as to whether or not he is the guy for you

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What Guys Said 4

  • I don't believe you over reacted at all, you deserve respect and he isn't giving it to you it seems. This guy honestly doesn't seem like he's worth your time, he's out drinking and drunk texting you and when you're in need of feeling loved and secure he is telling you "relax kid" and harassing you all while out being drunk?! he should be there beside you holding you, assuring you that he does care for you and trying to make your week less sh*t. He seems to be causing more damage than fixing and for that I feel as if you should find yourself a better man, a real man, one who deserves you and doesn't mistreat you and act like your emotions just some silly thing you can just blow off. Seriously consider getting a new man in your life :/ I think you deserve one. Good luck and I really do hope your week gets better :)!

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  • I don't understand why you would be mad at him because you don't think he cares about you. If he really doesn't care about you "that much" is the way he feels wrong? I don't see why you would be mad at him for that. Maybe he really does care about you but he's not good at showing it. So now you would be angry at him for not having the skills to show you how he feels. Another option can be that you don't feel like he likes you emotionally, but that could wrong and just be how you feel. I would try and find someone that is good at showing you how they feel. Or let him know you want that from, him and if he doesn't do it, decide if you can live with it. The point and theme of what I'm saying is let him be who he wants. And why dotting time being angry over it?

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  • Yes. That said he may not be the right guy for you.

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  • I can't believe you even kept talking to him when he referred to you as 'kid'. Clearly he thinks he is better than you, why the hell are you still with him?

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