How do I get my ex-girlfriend back?

We were dating for 3 years, I'm 20 and she's 18

She broke up with me because, the long distance was hard, she felt that I didn't put the effort with her, that I was her first boyfriend and she felt stuck and met a another guy (1 month) ago, who honestly Isn't better than me in anyway.

But I honestly and she said I was the perfect boyfriend, taking her on the best dates and everything like that. I in fact was the one with the power as well.

What's happened so far is that she initially broke up with me, then I took some time to think and we talked about our issues & worked it out and we went on another date which I felt we were back to what we used to be and she seemed so happy.

Then the next week she broke up with me, and I tried to convince her out of it, but it was no use, she felt more for him than me and lost feelings for me.

I agree the long distance was hard, but now that she's going to college unlike in high school we will be able to see each other more often, and make it work

I don't know what to do to win her back, because I do agree that we should take some time apart and see what single life is like, but I can't deal with the fact that this other guy who broke us up will stay with her forever.

As I know she's the one, and I don't want to lose her

What do I do, How do I win her back?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • She has two types of needs. Emotional needs and physical needs. I recommend that you identify her most important needs and satisfy them. On the other hand, if she happens to be a person that often needs to be physically close to her partner to feel a emotional connection to be happy in a relationship, then perhaps the distance will hinder your ability to fulfill that need.

    I'm sure you know it takes two to make a relationship work. That being said, she has to be willing to compromise, which may require her most essential needs to go unmet for a substantial amount of time. And if you are able to win her back but are currently unable to meet her needs, then you may be subjecting yourself to revisiting a identical problem with her in the near future.

    Thoroughly think things over, and don't make a emotional based decision. The heart is not always correct. Many relationship have failed when they are forced, despite the love that exists in them. Besides, one should not rush to be let down.

    Take your time, friend.

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What Girls Said 3

  • May be you could try to take her on those great dates that she remembers and bring good memories of your relationship so that she could think of how happy she used to be? I do not think that something has changed significantly within a week. I suppose she would appreciate it if you are a bit persistent.

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  • you can never know if this other guy will be with her forever. If he really isn't better than you then she'll come to realize this in due time and realize that she lost someone truly special but if she really is happy with this new guy and wants to be with him you've gotta let it go dude. Love is a reciprocal thing so if you love her set her free and if she loves you she'll come back. If she doesn't then move on you've got your life ahead of you and no matter how hard it may seem now, it WILL get better.

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  • I think this is really sweet, the way you feel about her. I only wish my ex felt this way about me. But it's been so long...

    I don't think there is anything you can do, however. She has to feel a certain way and right now, it's been proven that no matter what she just doesn't want a relationship with you. I'd say do nc but that isn't going to help her want you back. She may find it a relief that you don't contact her anymore and she can continue to move on and see other people or just enjoy being single.

    I hope she comes around for you though. Some day, at least.

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    • I agree that we both should take some time apart to decide, whether being single for now is the right thing, especially with all the drama as we both have finals in a month and a half

      But I know I don't want to be single, and I don't want her to run into that other guy and her lose me forever

    • I know how you feel. That's how I felt with my ex. But she probably doesn't feel that way. She probably doesn't see y'all ever getting back together and could even have fallen out of love with you at this point or will soon. Even if she does love you, she's made it clear she's not interested in being in a relationship with you.

What Guys Said 6

  • Well it's not your plAce to say if he isn't better than you. It's what she thinks.

    If you keep digging at it, it'll only push her away. Only thing you can really do is just move on. It's probably not going to happen. So move on, let her live her life, and live your own. If it happens between you two again, than it happens. But if you try to force e issue and win her back it'll only make things worse.

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  • Well the facts are that 1) She won't be with this new guy forever. 2) She's not the one. STop getting so hung up on one girl. Go out and see what's out there in college. These are your prime dating years, enjoy them. Hit the gym, get some hobbies, and watch the girls flock.

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  • Yeah, moving on IS an option, and really the only rational one.

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  • the second option is better good luck :)

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  • I think duth protest to much. She made up her mind man... wtf... flying out and surprising her with a band and flowers?!?! and declaring your love will either drive her further away, or well there is no other lol I think a phone call heart to heart would be better...

    Never ever put pressure on a woman like you are planning on doing... shame on you... and trying to mess things up with the other...guy? If you loved her and he was the right guy for her you would walk.

    I would just call her and have a heart to heart.

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    • This other guy broke up us, so I couldn't care less about him

      But maybe, a short phone call and then seeing each other in a non serious way could work out

      But how long should I wait?

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    • like a month not very long, and she said she wouldn't date for at least a few months

      I just get the impression that she found the long distance too hard, and she wanted a real boyfriend

      which I'm prepared to work harder to be the real boyfriend

    • I think the distance is what's killing you. I would definitely call her and tell her how you feel, good luck to you.

  • You don't try to get back with the person who dumped you. Her dumping you was your sign to move on.

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