Hey all, just went on first date. Will I get a second date?

Okay so I met this girl on a dating site. We talked for about a month (30 total messages or so), and then we went out last night. Well, we just went to her apartment and talked for 3 hours. The first two hours were great! She opened up and told me something very personal...she said not many people know about it at all. I was supportive of it and said I'd be there for her. But then the date went downhill for the last hour. I became terrible at holding a fun conversation, said some awkward/random things, and it just wasn't the same. After I left her place, I texted her when I got back home saying basically "thanks for a fun night...it was nice to finally meet!"

But she didn't respond :/ however, there's confusing/good news too. I sent her a friend request on Facebook two days ago. She accepted it last night after the date. But also, she was on the online dating site after the date too which I was hoping she wouldn't be :/

What do you all think? Do I have a shot at another date even though the second half of the date was a little bad? Or does the bad ending ruin my shot?

  • Good shot another date.
    100% (1)50% (1)67% (2)Vote
  • You blew your chance at dating. She's now only a friend at best.
    0% (0)50% (1)33% (1)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

0|0
2|3

Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of guys get a 2nd date, even though the girl isn't really into them. Your whole story sounded like this girl is your girlfriend and you've been dating her for years. This was terrible behavior on your part! She was pretty bad herself. Just a massive waste of time. YOU know better! You have become one of her other girlfriends. You have a serious case of Puppy Syndrome.

    Until you start employing the traits, and behavior that causes every woman's curiosity, romantic interest to spark, and rise in a man...you will forever have experiences as you described here. Your belief's for what causes a woman to fall for a man is way off. You let your ego and high interest in a girl, get in the way of success with women. You don't have a problem with looks, or meeting women. Your problem is only yourself. The good news is, you can change and fix your behavior toward women. It's not easy, its not a quick fix, it takes a lot of work, and self control. Sad thing is, I don't think you are willing to change, or to help yourself at this point.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I know I should have cut off the date early. But what else did I mess up with? (Feel free to message instead of a comment).

What Girls Said 2

  • You had a first date with her, why should she all of a sudden remove or stop visiting her page on the dating website? You saw she was online so you were online too, right? It's a first date, you don't even know her that well to know if you both want a relationship or not. There should be an option, I'm not saying you have a good shot at another date, but you didn't blow your chance either. It's somewhere in between. Just ask her out again and you'll see. Or just ask her when she has time to hang out another time.

    0|0
    0|1
    • I wasn't online. I deleted my account on the site. I saw she was online because I went to the site to see her profile again (which you can do without an account).

    • Show All
    • Well I mean I know what you're saying. But why would she not respond to my text but then accept my Facebook friend request? Her being online isn't the issue anymore. It's if she will answer if I call her. What do you think?

    • Maybe she forgot to answer? Didn't feel like texting at the time, ... I don't always reply to texts, because I forgot them, didn't feel like replying,was busy, it didn't need an answer...

  • Just own it and say look I know that I was bad at keeping up the fun vibe and things got awkward but it's just because I got really nervous because first of all you are very attractive, but even scarier is you have a wonderful personality and I felt like we really connected which just made me want to impress you more. Could I get a second chance to show you that I really am a guy who can be fun on (day) by going to (fun activity).

    You have a better chance if your honest and own your awkwardness. No girl rejects a guy because he liked her so much he got nervous. Generally at that point (if she has a heart) we try to help them out :)

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 2

  • You'll be competing against whomever else she can find on the site. But given that you were essentially on a blind date--online chatting doesn't really tell you much about a person--you didn't do too badly. I doubt many first dates from online chatting are much better.

    She at least trusted you enough to take you to her place. That's nice, and a good way to get to really understand who each of you is.

    You did fine. Relax. You're going to be facing a lot of competition, since she sounds pretty 'together.'

    0|0
    0|1
    • But then why didn't she respond to the text? I feel like that's a really bad sign. But then she accepts my Facebook friend request. So confused...

    • She didn't want to commit herself to anything, so didn't respond to your text...at least, not yet.

      But she isn't pushing you away or she wouldn't have responded to the less meaningful Facebook request.

  • I think your chances were shot before you ever met her.

    1) Sending messages back and forth for a month is WAY too long. You should be meeting her within 10 days of starting communication, maybe 3-5 emails total. By taking so long to make a move to meet her in person, you established yourself as a friend or pen pal at best.

    2) The first in-person meeting should be an hour at the most. By hanging around her for three hours, you wore out your welcome.

    3) The first time you meet, it should always be at a public place. By doing that, it helps you avoid giving off a creepy vibe, but it also protects you. What if she turns out to be a psycho?

    The FB friend request means nothing; the ignored text means you're dead in the water. Time to move on... Next time, keep the early dates short and sweet. And remember, she has to earn you just as much as you have to earn her.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Right; it woud have been better to leave if things started to fall apart after an hour.

    • 1) I asked her out earlier and she said she wanted to wait longer because she wasn't comfortable.

      2) Yeah, I know. That was a mistake.

      3) I offered to go out to dinner or go to this cool place in the city, but she said she was tired and would rather just hang at one of our places.

      Why does the Facebook thing mean nothing? Think about it. A girl sends you a friend request two days before a date. Why would you accept after the date if you don't want to talk to him again?

    • 1) If you communicated with her for more than a week and she still wasn't willing to meet in person, she was wasting your time.

      3) It sounds like you asked her out for the same night. It's usually better to schedule the date for at least 2-3 days after you ask her.

      Accepting a friend request on FB doesn't mean she has romantic interest in you. She could have accepted to avoid a confrontation, or she might want to be "just friends" with you.

Loading...