Guys, what are the chances he would consider me again?

Hi. I met a man online through a reputable dating site. We talked for a week through online messages. We were both so sure that this was the real deal so we began talking and texting. We talked every day and every night. Within a week's time, we had exchanged 400 messages and talked countless hours. I told him twice that I was not in the shape I should be. So, we were having a family dinner and he came to the house. After dinner, we spent 3 hours talking on the porch. We complement each other so well and see life in the same ways and our humour is matched. The next day, I heard nothing from him. I asked if he was going to say anything, and he told me that I was indeed a warrior but had not been true to my code, and that I had let myself go, and that I was a soulmate, but that I needed to show him I was strong. Now it's true that I have had a lot of depressing crap happen around me and I am 40 pounds more than I should be. But I am strong and I am a warrior and I am sorry that I have been so lax in my fitness. I have now dedicated my time to Shaun T's Insanity challenge and have asked him if he would wait for me to take care of this. He said he would not be okay with that if I was doing it only for him. I said of course not, it would be mostly for me, and if he didn't wait for me, them I would be better for the next great guy. We haven't talked since... What are the chances that he would consider dating me again when I become the fit girl that I normally am? How would I even go about letting him know I have improved? Should I even give him another chance now that he has rejected me? My heart aches


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What Guys Said 1

  • Personally, I'm extremely suspicious of a guy who claims that he objects to your weight because it shows you are not a "strong warrior". That seems like an excuse to me. More important, if you lost that weight and then together, would he leave you so easily as he has now? Sometimes weight gain is outside of our control from illness or injury. Losing the weight for your own sake seems like a fine idea. Do you really want a guy who makes turned you down because of this?

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    • Thank you for your answer. He was in the military for 25 years and is fit and strong. I had a child several years ago and I guess I have been too lazy to get back into top form. I am totally committed to this now. I really wonder if he would want to date me again if I was in good shape because I think he is the ideal man for me. I have never met another that even comes close to measuring up to him.

    • In that case, you are now motivation. Good luck!

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