Dating a Hispanic man, I don't want to get played.

Okay so this is quite the story NO JUDGEMENT PLEASE I know it gets kinda strange. I started dating a puerto rican man and I really like him. He made me feel like a princess when we went out, always told me how beautiful I was, the conversation was great (he is a history and sci-fi guy) and texted me all the time. We ended up making our relationship official but that only lasted for a week because he said I wasn't texting him enough and wanted to know if I was cheating on him. I was not. Note that he never initiated texts it was always me, so I stopped texting him to see how long it would take for him to initiate conversation, he did not, he just freaked out that I was cheating on him. So then we got into this HUGE fight. I said all sorts of stuff and went the typical female crazy guys always whine about. Well then this other man decides to ask me out. So I tell Chris (who has now stopped talking to me) that I am going to go out with this other guy unless he wants to work things out. He texted me back "Good luck to you I wish you the best, loose my number". So I started seeing this other man. Well then a couple weks later Chris starts texting me telling me that he hopes I am doing okay. I snapped at him "What do you want from me?" then he got mad that I was snappy and we almost started to fight again. It didn't end up in a fight we ended up deciding to be friends. I told him I was still hanging out with this other guy but that he wasn't my boyfriend. Well then he invites me over to his house to watch ghost stories. Which completely freak me out (he knows this) and I came over. He helped me study for my exam coming up, we watched ghost stuff and then started watching a movies "Hitch hikers guide to the Galaxy" Half way into the movie we started kissing and omg there is too much passion between us (at least on my end) so the "no sex rule" went out the door and we ended up having a lot of sex. When we were done we started talking about what had just happened and he said that I had hurt his feelings and he wanted to take things slow with me. He said that he was mad that I had said all those mean things but he was going to forgive me. He said that what had just happened was "just sex" but we could continue to take things slowly because he isn't seeing anyone else. He also wanted to know all about this other guy. So I told him. He asked me to text him when I got home so I did and he didn't answer me back. I ended up calling him to make sure he knew I wasn't forgetting to text and he answered and said he was glad I called him. Then told me to text him in the morning. I texted him this morning and he has not said anything to me. My head is spinning and I need an outsiders opinion because I am too involved and I don't want to get played. But I do not know if that is what is happening right now. I might even be the one who was wrong. I don't even know at this point.


0|0
3|8

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well girl one thing I know about Hispanic guys being a Latina myself is you gotta just say things straight out and not be afraid to say it, if this relationship for real and he really wants to work things out you gotta let him know how you feel and him to do the same because if you don't get to know each other as a person Ur not gonna do much well as a partnership expecting each other to read one's mind. Anywho... have an open heart to heart conversation with him about the relationship, but do make sure You know how you feel about it before coming to terms with him and deciding something.

    Hope I am of some help, let me know if it worked out if you decided to take my advice :)

    0|0
    1|0

What Guys Said 8

  • He's very controlling; he doesn't have the right at this time to know all about other guys, just because you had sex.

    And he will probably always be accusing you of cheating. If he does this just because you don't text enough (and he has weird double standards since he doesn't answer you messages or initiate them), he'll always be suspecting you throughout any relationship you might have.

    These double standards and suspicions will only get worse if you have a more defined exclusive relationship, I'm afraid.

    2|0
    0|0
  • well I think (I think) we can just throw the Hispanic/puerto rican thing out the window as it seems rather inconsequential to the story.

    it sounds to me like he is possessive. he likes to have things on his terms and feel as though you are really his. he wants you to text so he feels like he has an element of control and not because he has any intention of responding or wants this sort of intimacy.

    i personally think that htis relationship is going to be fraught with conflict because you don't seem to like a to plays these games. there may be a lot of physical chemistry and even some good chemistry from a personality standpoint but do you really want a guy who is jealous and possessive always accusing you or assuming the worst if you don't check in with him at his own arbitrarily decided time?

    0|0
    0|0
    • The reason I put that in there is because someone told me that this is what Hispanic men do. They said it was a cultural thing to act like this. I am white and he is this is my first inter racial relationship.

    • while I understand that is a stereotype of Hispanic men I don't think we should behave and act under generalizations about people because it really does a disservice to you and that person. you may make assumptions based on the stereotype that sway you from seeing the full picture. I still say he is possessive, insecure and jealous

  • You know, I legitimately wanted to answer this, but then I literally see a whole wall of unstoppable text, and the first thing that came to my head was "Ah, f*** it."

    0|0
    1|1
  • Meh, he sounds like he has control and insecurity issues.

    Not texting you back is a form of control. By doing this he's trying to show that you HAVE to text him, but he doesn't have to text you. You have to check in with him. He doesn't have to do sh*t. This is considered very unhealthy and very controlling behavior.

    He also sounds very insecure. He's going to constantly be worried about your faithfulness and constantly checking up on you. I wouldn't put it past him to start going through your phone, talking to your friends, etc.

    Unless you like being in a relationship with someone who doesn't trust you and is hyper-controlling, I'd suggest you end it with him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I apologize I didn't read the whole thing but think I read enough to get what you're talking about.

    it sounds to me that he is insecure and possesive. Personally I don't want to talk to a girl I'm dating everyday because then what are we gonna talk about when were out on a date or whatever, if I were you id just move on to the next one (like I did with the girls that did the same to me, I don't need all that stress)

    0|0
    0|0
  • Chris sounds like a mama's boy, and constantly has to be placated. I'd stop talking to him. And that's not the characteristics of a normal Hispanic man. And as for the other guy, let him go too, since it's not fair to drag him into your unresolved drama.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Sounds like a drama filled immature relationship. Good luck.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I am confused and trying to make sense of everything. I know that it is a lot of drama which is why I would rather ask people I don't know about the situation so it's not public for all my friends and family.

    • In the end it's a doomed relationship unless you can both mature and not play games like " you text too much" "you dont' text enough" "you didn't text you are cheating", etc.

  • So you're having sex with Chris while seeing this other guy? You should probably break it off with the other guy before he gets hurt.

    Oh, and Chris sounds crazy. Seriously crazy. Like obsessive schizophrenic stalker crazy. But as long as there's passion on your end.

    0|0
    0|0
    • The sarcasm really doesn't help the situation, but as long as you sound like a smartass that is what really matters, right?

    • I was just kidding, chill out.

What Girls Said 2

  • Update!! How did things pan out for the 2 of you?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Chris has issues. He's too controlling and paranoid. It also sounds like it's turning into (or already is) a fwb/f*** buddy situation. If you want that, cool, but if not then I'd leave it. I think you should break it off with him completely and see the other guy. Tell Chris that after thinking about it, you don't think things between you guys will work out and you think both of you should move on and stop seeing each other. Follow through on that. Delete his number and everything once it's all clear.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...