What do you expect on a first date?

This goes for both sides - when you invite someone and when you're invited for a first date. I tend to be very flattered when a guy asks me for a date, so I usually think ''Heh, I'll give him a chance". But I'm starting to wonder, would it be better to be more selective from the start and reject an invitation so that the guy doesn't get his hopes up too much?

I'm asking because this guy I met at school is definitely interested but he's a stranger to me, still. If he asks me out, it'd be an occasion to get to know each other better. The thing is that since we don't know each other yet, I'm not sure there's chemistry. I think it's normal when you're not familiar with someone, agreed?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you find him physically attractive (not full-blown turning you on, but attractive), then say yes. I see the first few dates as a way to sound each other out and find out if you want to go on more dates/start a relationship. If he doesn't seem like an interesting enough guy, then tell him (I at least prefer honesty and bluntness - say you'd like to just stay friends or something).

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What Guys Said 5

  • Social norms dictate that I respond to this question by giving the female a single rose, perhaps some chocolates, and that we attend a film of some kind.

    However, in my country, in order to find a mate of equal footing, dating often requires the female to issue a rite of challenge, where both the male and female are then locked inside of a ritualistic steel cage and forced to combat each other for a total of 3 hours.

    If the male is the victor, he claims the female as his mate to be. If the female wins, she may choose death for the male, or a lifetime of servitude to pay for his dishonor.

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  • Not being sure if there's chemistry if you barely know him is normal. Having no idea if you're attracted to him is not.

    If he's got no chance of you feeling lust for him, say no. If he's attractive enough to you that you would be enthusiastic about him if you 'click' then go ahead.

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  • To be fair I'd have huge expectations if I got a date. I'd be hoping it would go well and lead to more dates/sex/a relationship.

    However this is likely because I haven't been on a date in ages and have been rejected more than 600 times in a row. I think a lot of it is related to the availability of dates/sex/intimacy to the person.

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  • You're not committing to anything by agreeing to a first date... except to go on a date.

    If you're going on so many dates that you don't have time for other things, of course be more selective.

    But if you wouldn't be doing anything important anyway, I think you should go on a date if you have any interest at all in the guy. At worst, you'll improve your social skills. At best, you'll have a boyfriend.

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  • A smart experienced guy will be able to tell if you're truly interested in him, or just going through the motions as a professional dater. The whole point of dating is to find out about the other person, and in doing so, find out if you like them, and want to be around them more.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well I guess the only way to really know if there is anything there would be to go on a date, I mean he could get to know you and not feel a connection, that's part of getting to know each other. Plus you never know there could be a spark.

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  • Totally agree! I think you should be honest upfront and say, I'm not sure where this is going to go but I would like to take my time getting to know you better.

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