How to get out of my own way?

I think there is something wrong with me. For almost 3 years now I have been single but not for lack of trying. In the past 3 years I have gone on more dates than I did in high school and college combined. The problem is that I rarely get past the first date and its not like I screw up the first date either. As many times, I am able to secure a second date within a few days of the first date. However without fail I always begin to focus on all the extremely minor things that I don't like about my date: there hair is not long enough, there smile is too big, there laugh is odd. I realize this is the absolutely dumbest thing ever but for some reason I can't stop. I have even found myself asking what is wrong with them if they are on a date with me. I know I have trust issues do to past long term relationships and I know that I at times feel like I have to meet the perfect girl so that everyone I know will be amazed at me having the perfect girl. The problem is I don't know how to fix myself; to stop making myself from thinking this stupidity. Its stopping me from meeting someone that I enjoy being around and moving on from my past. Its hard for me to enjoy my own company because I feel like a failure. I'm tired of diagnosing my issues and need solutions; therefore, if anyone could help I'd appreciate it. ..thank you!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well you say you don't screw up the date, but then you say you focus on minor things and ask your date what is wrong with her. I think you answered your own question.

    At least you've had a relationship. I don't have trust issues and I'm willing to ignore flaws that a girl has, and yet girls won't date me regardless. I think you just need to reflect why you want a perfect girl, because you also aren't perfect.

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    • Already explained why I want the perfect girl along with stating I can reflect on my issues all I want but its not giving me answer hence why I am reaching out. Also I realize I am not perfect which is why I said that everything I do and think is dumb. I Don't wanna hear your sob story here as I'm trying to fix my own issues.

What Girls Said 1

  • There is no perfect girl out there, just one that is perfect for YOU. There's nothing wrong with you, you're perfectly normal.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well the problem is you. Maybe you are fearing rejection so you are projecting these flaws so you can preemptively reject them.

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  • Put the meth down and join the real world.

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