Well, I am 35, haven't dated anyone in a few years. I was absolutely single, and had no interest in dating anyone. However, I have been feeling the pain of loneliness, but I have no idea what to do. Recently, I moved to a new town, for my job, and really don't know anyone here. I don't associate with coworkers outside of work, simply because of past issues... I don't date coworkers. Again, I just don't associate with people I work with, outside the office. However, My problem is as follows:
A) I tried dating sites, but that only yielded scams and women I wanted nothing to do with. In fact, before I moved, I had a female friend that was using dating sites, and she showed me her inbox. Full of messages. Getting messages at least, 20+ per day. My inbox was only messages from women I didn't message (that were totally unattractive, or don't fit what I am looking for), and obvious scams (model pictures, misspelling, and no candid photos... All are "production" style photos). I talked to women before, and found that my friend's situation is quite common in dating sites, and researched that mine is common as well.
B) I don't drink, so bars are out of the question. Moreover, I don't like drinkers.
C) I have no idea about anything, in my "New Home". My free time, is limited to just weekends and 4 hours after work.
D) Circumstantially, I am a homebody... If and when, I go out, I only get what I need, and go back home. I have been told to go to a gym... Why should I, when I have my own weights and my own equipment?
E) It is difficult for me to openly trust people. I rarely talk to anyone, when I am out and about. Even when I go to a restaurant (which is rare for me... because of self imposed dietary restrictions), I just don't talk to others.
What is a strictly heterosexual man, in his mid 30's, no children to do? Younger women usually don't have too many issues, but their lack of maturity and experience often causes problems. Not to sound stereotypical, but women my age who are single, often are single for a reason (in some rare cases, they are single for the same reasons I am, and that is, I haven't found anyone I was interested in...). Particularly, single mothers (not including widowed women, just divorcees with children, and women with children who was never married) often have hangups and issues. Older women don't interest me at all. I would like to have a family of my own, someday, and it is supremely unlikely with an older woman.
I really don't like the idea of feeling alone, and being away from what I have known for years. However, my job is the best opportunity afforded to me, and I, to a degree, enjoy what I do. I just don't like what is going on, away from where I work. What Should I do?
Most Helpful Guy
A.) Online dating blows donkey d*ck for 99.9% of men. Women get overwhelmed with messages and become absurdly picky as result.
B.) That's all fine and reasonable, but do get out in this world and explore your interests so you can meet like-minded people.
C.) Sounds like you have about the average amount of free time for someone with a FT job so...?
D.) You aren't going to meet anyone in your house or home gym. That should be pretty obvious.
E.) If you don't go out, and you don't like talking to people you are really limiting your options. Considering all that you said so far, I am not sure you can afford to limit your options to this degree.
What are you do to? Change. Improve your social skills. You can't expect progress if you aren't going to try to do anything. What are you honestly expecting? Your dream woman to magically appear in your living room and be OK with you not talking to her?
Why are you cynical when it is you yourself that have imposed significant limitations and obstacles to meeting people?
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