I want to date her but I'm so busy . What to do?

I have a crush on a girl in college. I think she secretly likes me too. We went out for a movie once; I called it an "outing" instead of a "date", but I think she knows what I feel about her.

Now problem is, since school started I found myself too busy to ask her out anymore. She also turned down my request to study together, so she might also think school > dating.

I don't want to give her up, so I think I will still ask her out, but only during school holidays. Which are ... 6 months apart. In the meantime, we can still keep in contact with each other weekly via Facebook.

What do you guys think? Is this relationship doomed? Or is it doable in the long term?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're too busy and she turned you down than she's most likely too busy as well. It's college after all, and it takes a lot of work and time. Just let her go because if you're both too busy, you'll be hurting more in the long run. Trust me, I've been in a relationship where he was too busy for me and we had big dreams together and we ended up splitting it off and that was 6 months ago and it still hurts.

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    • I'm hurting already, so I tried just not caring but then she comes along and sends me a text again and I get drawn in again.

    • Then don't answer. You'll just get hurt more in the long run. Let her down easy.

What Girls Said 3

  • Depends on the girl.

    That kind of relationship would have been ideal for me back in my uni days. Have actually been in your exact boat - having to turn a guy down repeatedly, even though I was crazy about him, because he didn't understand why I was so into school.

    If not, can you make time for her once a fortnight? Something small, like a regular lunch date or something? She won't be your girlfriend but at least you get to spend time together and communicate your interest in her.

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    • a lunch date ... that sounds nice. I tried that a month ago but she said she's eating with friends. maybe I'll try again

  • Not to rain on the parade but I think it's doomed. Coming from someone who was in a long-distance relationship for 4 years...chatting on FB is great but in-person, physical contact is really needed to develop a deep bond, and only spending time together every 6 months isn't going to allow for that.

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    • i totally get what you mean. I also prefer going out instead of just chatting, chatting is so ... distant.

  • Definitely doable in the future. I like your attitude towards this, stay in contact and Pursue her when you can like the way you're doing. Good luck :)

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    • thanks for the encouragement :)

What Guys Said 1

  • I reckon anything is possible with enough effort. Time with the girl you like is crucial to the relationship but actually I believe time apart from them can help in a way. You won't get sick of them to start! But seriously, you'll be able to plan the dates carefully, reflect on the previous one, and you'll be so happy to see them that the relationship will always feel fresh! But of course that's just a few of the positives, there's plenty of negatives which speak for themselves. I imagine you can drive soon which can help a lot if you can afford it all. For now though I think your thinking things through too much, you don't even know if she likes you which should be your first step, the deny to study together might of been a little rejection? So just keep on it! Get in there, ask her how she feels, if she feels the same, nothing should stop you!

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    • wouldn't asking her just scare her off? moreover I can't keep up any expectations once I ask a question like that o.o

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