Am I being strung along and what should I do?

So I've been talking quite regularly with this girl, and we went out once... three weeks ago(I know).

She has been giving me excuses since she has been very busy in those past 3 weeks along with a serious event she doesn't want to talk about. Last week she was out of town seeing her sister graduate basic as well. Coming this week I saw if I could push for a second date, but she is playing "catch up" with her school work missing a week and all so I suggested we do something Friday. She said that was too far out for her to schedule something. Yeah, red flag for me.

We talk every day through text messaging but I quite frankly think she doesn't care. I feel like I could just disappear and she wouldn't care.

I feel like she is stringing me along. She really isn't all that interested in pursuing a relationship of any kind right now and I'm just there so she can text someone over the phone which is not the relationship I am looking for. She already knows what I am looking for I don't think she fully understands it though.

Should I just stop texting her? I have a hard time doing this and would rather confront her about it since I tend to like some sort of closure whether it is bad or good. So what should I do, just stop talking to her or confront her about my grievances?

Updates:
Thanks for your input guys but I decided to confront her about it. She freaked out pretty badly about it but I stood my ground and I feel better for it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Walk away. She's not worth your time. A girl who is that busy/has other plans but wants to be with you will make every effort to find the time for you. I've been super busy and had to ask if I could move the date 2 weeks down the road but I asked and made it clear that I'd love to go on the date but had too much going on. So while 3 weeks isn't a lot in my books, the fact that she doesn't suggest alternative plans is a major major red flag. My response would have been, sure, I have time Friday between x and y. Or sorry, Friday doesn't work, but I have time Saturday.

    She likes the attention. If she knows what you want and she's not stepping up, she's not worth your time.

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What Girls Said 6

  • She's not stringing you along, you're stringing yourself along.

    She's making no efforts to see you or be honest with you, and the two of you don't even want the same thing. Stop talking to her and see if anything happens... I'm guessing it won't, unless she just wants attention and nothing else from you.

    She sounds like a waste of your time, find someone else who will actually treat you decently and give you the time of day.

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  • I wouldn't confront her. I have been on her end of it before- which I'm not proud of. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem interested, she just likes the attention and having someone to talk to. I would just stop texting. If she isn't interested, confronting her won't work. It will only make matters worse. If she keeps texting you, then I might mention that you are looking for something more, that you feel like she isn't interested, etc.

    remember that there are more girls out there who will treat you better. Good luck!

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    • Sounds like I would only be protecting her feelings then. Why should I care to protect the feelings of someone who has been playing with mine this whole time?

    • I don't think you would be protecting her feelings. Ultimately it's about you letting go. She might not deserve for her feelings to be spared, but I don't think acting out anger and hurt is wise.

    • I wasn't angry with her. I just wanted her to prove that she was interested in me. I think she did just that so I'm not going to give up on her if that is the case.

  • Just stop texting her and find another girl to focus your attention on.

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  • Yes, if she wanted to see you she would make time, even contact you. I would immediately back off. If she comes back and wants to do something then take a chance. But you have seen the red flags.

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  • What did she say?

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    • She wigged out and turned off her phone. Then she texted me at 4 in the morning and we talked a little bit and now we got a date set for Friday. She needed the intervention.

  • If she wanted to see you she would make time. No point in confronting...she's already shown she's not interested, why say it. She needs to grow a spine and tell you she's not interested if she sees you aren't catching the "I'm busy" hint.

    You have very little time invested in her, so moving on should be a snap. If you want to keep her in the friend zone, then be happy with that. Just don't count on her for anything other than that. Tale care!

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What Guys Said 2

  • According to my experience, girls don't like confrontation.

    If you start confrontation, you get insults, usually, and random behavior .

    So it seems she's not interested, just let it go.

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    • I have been confrontational before and she begins to insult herself, and I'm beginning its a ploy to get me to feel sorry for her. Being insulted myself is hard and doesn't phase me. What I tend to say seems to be far more deep than pathetic little swear words or derogatory terms so I'm not worried. Essentially if she does curse me out then I definitely know she's not serious.

    • You already know she's not interested. You just have to accept it. You can do it the soft way, and let it go, or the hard way. Bro Tip : the soft way is better.

  • Don't confront, just reduce communication. If she really wants you, she will come after you. So don't text first/initiate contact unless she starts going out on dates with you. Be her friend if it isn't hurting you too much though, she could hook you up with her other female friends.

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