Ladies who use online dating services....

Ladies, what are some examples of subject material of first time emails that are worthy of a response from you and will garner a response that goes beyond a painfully dull one such as "all kinds" and "yes"?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • something more than the hundreds of "hi" "hi beautiful" or other variant and something more than just "how are you" or "youre beautiful"

    its not that we think you guys aren't worthy of a reply, its that we get hundreds of messages daily and responding to all of them would take hours and it gets really repetitive and boring to see so many short crappy initial messages. if you don't believe me open up an account as a female

    something funny/witty and a few comments or questions about hobbies or the description on my profile and a bit about yourself and where about you are from would interest me, a nice friendly profile picture also gets my interest - as in dressed nicely and smiling not slouched and in gangster clothes or something silly to make you look like a hard man or clutching a beer and a cigarette

    i hate people going for the sexual approach instantly, I just ignore those straight away as I'm not on there to be a piece of meat I'm on there to date and meet people. people with thise messages tend to treat the datings sites like swinging sites which isn't what theyre designed for.

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    • I can understand the not responding to the doofuses who send lewd emails, but also emails consisting of just hey hows it going? I understand that a lot of girls get a lot of emails on a daily basis (which must be nice by the way) but why do you not respond to the really short ones? I mean who knows? What if it leads to something more?

    • thanks for the best answer :)

      its mainly because the majority of messages I get are just hi or hi how are you which is fine when you're new to the site and answering your first few messages but it gets tedious having to reply to every single one as the conversation feels forced as he's left me nothing to reply to so I'm constantly starting the conversation and after a while you start to feel robotic as you're basically typing the same opener to every man who hasn't bothered to put an effort into

    • first impressions and makes me feel like he hasn't bothered to read anything about me but rather just looked at my profile image, saw I was a girl and made a half assed message as soon as he could

What Girls Said 5

  • Poor spelling or grammar indicates to me that we aren't intellectually compatible. Selfies of you in your bathroom mirror where you aren't either fully clothed or your mirror is covered in filth will kinda nix you too. lol As well as any sexual comments.

    But what gets me the most is a man who took the time to read my profile and touches on what we have in common. Shares with me his passions so I can get a glimpse of who he is as a person. Also someone who takes the time to show his personality and sense of humor through his email. While ignoring a "how are you" might mean that we miss someone good- I think the right person would take the time to put his best foot forward and let me see a little bit more of his personality in his first contact with me. I feel like those who are short and sweet probably won't make much effort in the relationship either.

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  • Pick something that interests you from her profile, and make a comment about it, like, "Hey, my name’s _____, and I just wanted to let you know how cool I think it is that you… (listen to blah, like to play blah, are interested in blah, etc). Then ask her an open-ended question about whatever it is that you commented on. This kind of message would show her that you're actually capable of having a conversation, and that you're not just some random stranger who thinks she's hot.

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  • I usually reply to everyone unless the guy is far outside of my stated age preference and/or he says something sexual in his opening e-mail. Sometimes that response is to say that I don't think we're a good match ... usually for me, this has to do with location, though. Otherwise I'll probably e-mail back and forth with him a few times to see if we click. I don't get hundreds of e-mails daily and I'm a average-decent looking female. Not gorgeous, but not ugly or overweight, either (Just putting that in, because that's the first question guys usually have when they hear you don't have hundreds of e-mails a day). Other similar looking female friends I've talked to didn't have that, either. The stories of chicks having hundreds of guys e-mail her might come out of bigger metropolitan regions than we live in, though.

    As the other girls say, showing that you actually read my profile is a big plus. I like when guys seem to have something in common with me and they seem friendly. Putting negatives in your profile isn't good. I've read that this doesn't work for males and females. ( "I don't want any game players, teases, gold diggers, drama queens, etc") It's better to use positive statements.

    Also, try to have a friend take some pics of you, instead of resorting to the selfie.

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  • Anything that suggests you read my profile, liked what you read, have a common interest. And if its all spelled out properly, in proper grammar... yes, you'll likely get a response. Hobbies, music... anything, especially if we might have something in common.

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  • You should talk about something that's in my profile. So if I said that I like to read or I'm a literature major, then ask me about what I like to read and tell me what your favorite books are, etc. That shows me that you actually read through my profile, you are interested in getting to know me as a person rather than just interested in my body, and it will show that you share my interests.

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What Guys Said 0

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