How do you guys feel about dating a woman who would earn more than you?

I'm wondering how guys feel about this. I know every guys wants an "independent" woman but at the same time they want to be "the man" in the relationship.

Personally, I am a little old fashioned when it comes to this because although I do believe in financial independence, I also believe a man should be the one to provide and keep things running straight in his household. This is how my father is. He has always took care of me and my mom like princesses and although my mother works, he will never allow her to spend a penny when they go out together. I always appreciated that "being taken care of" feeling. I think I expect the guy I end up with to be like this too. How do you guys feel about this? and is this how you envision your relationship?

I am in training to be a doctor and I can't seem to help myself but compare my earning potential with other guys I date.

How do guys view this? Just want to get some opinions


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I personally love it. My mother earns slightly more than my father and they are happy. My mother is not financially dependent on him.if their relationship were to fail she would land on her feet. My dad is a very traditional man, but he and my mom have found a good way to both have careers and to have a family.My dad is the protector and my mom is the nurturer. They both buy each other gifts (birthdays and anniversaries) and take care of each other. I think that the key to it is that the material things don't come into their relationship. Their degrees and job titles and bank accounts and public achievements stop at the front door. Inside the house they are equal partners and treat each other so.Even when they argue there are no cheap shots like "I earn more than you"or "I have a superior position than you". The respect is amazing.

    I hope that I can meet a girl like that . Ambition and independence is sexy, but not to forget that intimate relationship roles shouldn't be influenced by the material things. Be a billionaire or President, but please just be my girl/wife/PARTNER at home.

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What Guys Said 9

  • There is nothing wrong with success, but it can be a romance killer- In order to find a guy with equal or greater earning potential you should look online or have some trusted family/friends set you up. For many men, it's difficult to be the "Man" in the relationship if the woman he's with makes 10x what he does. It's a huge mindf**k for them. It sounds like a middle class guy would NEVER be able to please you because of your pre-existing requirements. If I was you, I wouldn't even bother trying that avenue. It sounds like you'd turn down a potential hard working soul mate if he only made 50k a year (since he wouldn't be able to "treat you like a princess" every time you felt like being treated like one). That's crazy- I'd never date you in a million years-

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  • usually the girl would look down on the guy if he is making less than her. and since you are used to year dad taking care of everything... then you will expect him to do the same.. while his salary may be not that good.

    its your puzzle to figure.. but if you are supportive... things will go OK . Just don't tred on his ego.

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  • Should my plans succeed, I have no doubt that, on average, the girls I would date will make more money than me, since the military doesn't pay big until you are in the upper echelons of the command chain. And it doesn't really bother me at all. If she can sustain herself, then she can do what she wants.

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  • I could careless how much more money she made than me, as long as we're both financially stable. I plan to be a physical therapist so if she's a lawyer, surgeon, or any other job with a higher pay, then it's whatever. The only type of guy who'd have an issue with all this is if he's unsatisfied with his career job and can't provide much.

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  • I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as she doesn't "look down to me". I think money shouldn't have an effect on how we love each other. But still, if possible, I would prefer to be the "dominant" in the couple. And of course I would still love and respect her. Is it possible to solve it like this in your opinion?

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  • I wouldn't mind at all just as long as the girl doesn't mind dating me despite I don't have a college degree yet or not in my career yet but I do have a job, I work at a grocery store

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  • Wary because women generally want the guy to be the protector/provider.

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    • & She'll be more likely to leave me for/cheat on me with a guy she considers to be those things.

  • It would not bother me. You are looking at it correctly, you don't need a man to drain you and not work. You want a man who can make his own living and he probably wants the same. My wife works, but I usually make more. She pays some bills I pay others and we both contribute to the big bill, the mortgage. There are rare times when we go out she has money but I do not. She is the one to suggest we go out, I explain that I can't foot the bill right then, and she pays for it. At the table or wherever, she slips me her cash or her card and I pay the waiter. I don't expect her to do that, I would not care if she paid the bill directly to the waiter (at least I don't think I would care... okay maybe just a little). I think she does that to make me feel comfortable. It works, I love her.

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  • From my observations, girls want the guy to earn more. Guys generally care much less about this.

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