The guy I'm dating didn't do anything for me for my birthday?

... All I got was a text that read "Happy birthday."

Updates:
Should I just dump him?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Should you dump him? Hell no!

    Maybe he doesn't realize that your birthday is a big deal to you. I haven't celebrated my birthday or anyone's birthday since I was eight years old. If I know it's someone's birthday I'll probably write them a text saying happy birthday, but I wouldn't think it would be a big deal unless they told me what to expect on such given days. The reason why is because they didn't do a damn thing on the day they were born. I don't celebrate my birthday, but I do buy my mom something since she actually brought me into this world. Yes, I buy my mom, or treat my mom, to something on my birthday. I also don't celebrate Valentine's day. I've been in a relationship with a girl that expected sh*t on Valentine's day and I didn't do a damn thing because I don't celebrate it. That's not romantic at all to me. To expect the person you're dating to give you something just because of what day it is, and this day had nothing to do with the two of you together as one. When I have a girlfriend, I'll treat her on a random day the way most people treat their girl on Valentine's day. That is more romantic than treating them on the day they expect it! Same thing with birthdays. There's no connection between myself and the girl I'm dating on her birthday. It just happens to be the day she was born. Not a big deal to me. Now, if my girl told me that her birthday (and therefore, by extension, mine and everyone else that she knows birthday) is a big deal, then I'll plan accordingly, but if we just started dating and I knew it was her birthday but I didn't know that a birthday was a big deal, then I would probably just tell her happy birthday and that'd be it. Why do people feel so entitled to have people that they are close too by them sh*t on their birthday? You didn't do anything extraordinary on the day of your birth? If anything, on YOUR birthday, YOU should be thanking your MOTHER for giving birth to you. She's the one that did all the work. Did you buy your mom a gift on your birthday? If not, he has every reason to not celebrate your birthday the same way you (assuming you didn't do anything) have every reason not to celebrate the day your mom gave birth to you.

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    • I agree with the Valentine's thing. if I want to be romantic I'll do it randomly through out the year when ever the mood strikes me. not because the people that bring you greeting cards tell me.

      I do like birthdays but all I want is cake and to pick what we have for supper, gifts are a nice extra. for me Christmas is more important mainly because I enjoy seeing other people open gifts I buy them.

What Guys Said 27

  • honestly if you are dating I think he should have at the very least called you.There's a bunch of people on here saying that he could've done nothing or whatever etc. and that is true, but then how would that make him any different than a stranger on the street? difference is he is your boyfriend a person who is supposed to support and care for you and honestly a quick little text saying "happy birthday" its just brutal, I personally think it shows a lack of care and thought which could also display how he sees you in his mind. when you're dating someone you're supposed to date them because you CARE about them and relationships are all about communication and what he seems to be communicating with that lack of contact is that he doesn't really care. Sure you aren't entitled to all these things on your birthday but no one wants nothing on their birthday especially from their significant other. Personally I love holidays and birthdays so my girlfriend and I treat each other because we genuinely enjoy treating each other to things and making one another feel special on a day like that. There is definitely some sort of un written code in the dating guide that says you should defiantly get your girlfriend something (at least a nice card, maybe flowers) on her birthday.

    ON THE OTHER HAND

    he might not be that kind of guy to be all sappy and stuff on birthdays so don't take it to heart. some guys just aren't like that and can't stand involving themselves in romaticy coupley presents and heart filled cards and stuff.

    in conclusion if this really did hurt your feelings which I would completely understand then I say you could ask him about it (since as I said relationships are all about communication) and see what's going on whether he's losing interest or doesn't care or maybe just isn't that kind of guy and if you find out you two just don't think the same and have the same values or aren't willing to work to fulfil each others needs and wants then maybe it is time to move on. I wouldn't say this is some sort of huge red flag but it could be a sign you two just don't work as a couple. Hope this advice helps and don't kick him to the curb quite yet! :)

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  • Yes, if that is enough for you to dump someone, then you should dump him.

    After that you should enter a convent and leave the relationship scene completely. You are obviously not mature enough to talk to people yet.

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  • At least he doesn't have to worry about outdoing himself next year.

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  • You need to decide what type of man you want, one who shows appreciation and enjoys giving you gifts, or one that is happy with a simple suggestion of good will, if it is someone who will show his appreciation and enjoy making you feel special, then this guy obviously does not have those qualities,x

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  • At least he remembered so give him credit for that. My best friend forgot his girlfriend's birthday and I accidentally reminded him of it so he texted her after the entire day was over.

    The hopeless romantic in me would've done everything if it was my girlfriend's birthday. It's not everyday where we get a day to ourselves and to really feel special. I would've at least bought a little gift and dinner. Dinner I think is the least a boyfriend can do, whether it's homecooked or at a restaurant.

    Talk to him about it. Tell him that it upset you that he didn't do anything. I don't think it's something to dump him over. He may just not be the kind of guy who makes a big deal about birthdays.

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  • Some people just aren't into birthdays, including me. I just consider it trivial. If a girl "expected" me to do something for her birthday then we wouldn't be compatible. I've known a lot of girls who think the same way. It's a matter of compatibility and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. But you can't look at it like he did something wrong, because there is no right or wrong on this.

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  • link (had to share).

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  • Girlfriend didn't buy me any video games for my birthday, time to dump that whore

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  • how long have you been together? are you two an official couple or just seeing each other?

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  • How long have you been dating? Are you exclusive?

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  • It's impossible to say anything meaningful without knowing your guys' relationship status (are you just dating? in a relationship? are you unsure?) and how long you've been seeing each other.

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  • whats wrong with that?

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  • Tell him how you feel. guys don't read minds and there's no one book for every relationship because everyone is different.

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  • Sounds like a keeper. Marry him.

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  • Maybe. How long have you been together? Have both of you confessed to each other yet? If it's 'official', I believe a girl has every right to expect a gift or a date at least on her birthday.

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  • no you should talk about it. I mean I don't know how long you've been in a relationship, but its possible that he doesn't see birthdays as a big deal

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  • How serious is the relationship and how long have you been going out?

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  • Hopefully he will make it up to you.

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  • I got stood up on my birthday

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  • This is hilarious. Half the girls commenting are sane, smart girls, the other half are self entitled bitches.

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    • Well that's rather rude

    • Blunt truth often is. What guy would EVER think of dumping a girl he was going out with because she merely wished him a happy birthday, and didn't throw him some party or give him a fabulous gift?

  • He could have bought you a t shirt.

    "It's my birthday and all I got was this shirt"

    What did you want from him? Gold

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  • Me me me me MEEEE!

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  • Good Lord.

    Yes, dump him, so maybe he can find a nice sane girl.

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  • How does he dare?! DUMP HIM RIGHT NOW! Or maybe you should take it easy and tell him you expected a date or something to celebrate your birthday.

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  • If it bothers you then tell him.. Not everyone sees birthdays with the same importance, where I live they celebrate namedays more than birthdays

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  • Life's full of disappointments. Suck it up.

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  • You're kidding, right?

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    • Seriously you guys are dumb. She's not complaining she's just saying all she got was a text which is wrong when your dating someone. He could have at least called

    • He could have done nothing. My dad doesn't remember my mother's birthday and they've been married for 25 years.

    • Ya and I'm sure their Relationship Is full of Sparks and romance too and people marry people who don't truly care about each other all the time doesn't mean everyone wants to do That

What Girls Said 17

  • I might have been more understanding to your disappointment, if he forgot

    your birthday all together. But, he didn't. Surprisingly enough, telling someone

    "Happy Birthday" in a text, actually counts for something. He wished you a

    Happy Birthday, why can't that be enough? Why do women think that if a guy

    does something for them on they're birthday, annversary or even valentines

    day, that it somehow proves he cares? The only thing it proves, is that they

    knows how to spend money and anybody can do that! Besides, what's more

    important to you. A guy who pulls out all the stops on your birthday, because it's

    expected or a guy who cancels plans with his friends because you mentioned

    in passing that you were having a bad day and he thought he'd come over to

    hang out with you and cheer you up, not because he had to, but because he

    wanted to! So, which one would you rather have?

    Look, whether you break up with the guy or not is up to you. But, try to remember

    he did wish you a Happy Birthday and if he didn't care, he probably wouldn't

    have even of done that. And, when your sitting in a bar alone at the age 40

    doing taqulia shots and wondering why your still single. You can look back on

    this question and realize it wasn't rude that he just wished you a Happy Birthday,

    but actually very thoughtful, it means he was clearly thinking about you and liked you

    enough to remember. And, at that same moment you'll finally understand why men are

    bitter towards women. Because, they know they're damned if they do and damned

    if they don't! He wished you a Happy Birthday, but that wasn't enough, but if he would have

    forgot your birthday, you would have been pissed about that too! So, either way he's screwed!

    So, I think it's quite ridiculous to dump someone, for something that they didn't even do

    wrong. But, you have to follow your heart. It's really up to you!

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  • I think that's extremely rude. He could at least called you. How long have you guys been dating? It seems like he doesn't really care about since he doesn't even have the decency at least to call or ask if you wanna see a movie or something. It depends what stage you are in your relationship. If you been together for a couple weeks to a month I would Just Be like Umm That's It? But if You been dating longer id probley dump him

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  • I never understood the link between birthdays and people feeling so entitled. If you're just dating and it's not too serious, I don't think it really should be an issue of dumping?

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  • I have to agree with all of the guys on this one.. Is it really that big a deal? and if you really liked the guy in the first place you wouldn't consider dumping him just because of this.

    Also if it bothers you that much, why you posting this Q on gag and not telling him how you feel? Clearly your looking for reasons to dump him.

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  • No, you shouldn't dump him. Birthdays are nothing special. He should probably dump you though, for having ridiculous expectations.

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  • Horrible negative comments!

    If you are not in an exclusive relationship then I am thinking that he doesn't want to be that serious yet. It might be disappointing but he might not think that you have to go out, so I wouldn't dump him. If it is a committed relationship, then I would expect at least a phone call, or an offer to do something/ a rain check if he is busy and I would tell him how I felt.

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  • RUDE! I'm sorry but if he was a "man" that "loves" his girl he'd take her out, buy her gifts and all. And if he is financially poor than he could at least take her for a walk along the beach or something sweet. If he continues to treat you like that, than I'd pack my bags and go on my way!

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  • How long have you been dating? If you're not in a committed relationship, then I don't think you should expect anything more. Then you don't have to do anything for his birthday either. If you want it to be different, you'll have to talk to him about it. Don't just dump him for f***'s sake.

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  • Pretty rude I think. Do the same thing to him on his b'day.

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  • No I don't think you should dump him over that. Maybe he couldn't afford a gift at the time.

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  • OMG girl you should like totally dump that cheap loser

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    • I'm kind of on the fence as to whether she should dump him. Maybe he wasn't able to get anything for her or spend time with her due to his schedule. I think she should wait a week to see if he tries to remedy the situation. If he doesn't make any effort to improve the situation by giving her a belated gift or doing a belated celebration (that is to say, if it looks like he doesn't care that he didn't give her anything except a birthday text message), she should hold him in contempt.

  • Get rid of him

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  • If he gave a f*** he would have done better. don't settle for less. I had to fire this nigga I was f***ing with because he did nothing for my birthday. if you settle for him then you're basically saying that it's OK to disregard things that are important to you and that any scrap of attention is better than nothing. you could be with a man who gives you diamonds and gold for your birthday so why settle for a lame ass text? it's the thought that counts and he didn't think enough of you to do shit but send a text.

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  • Is it a serious relationship or is it new? If it's new than I wouldn't worry too much about it. Same thing happened to me. He sent me a text midnight of my birthday, but that's about it. We'd only been dating two weeks though. So I wasn't expecting a present. I was more touched by the fact that he did it right at midnight more than anything. It made my whole day better than everything else combined. He had to work for my birthday, so we couldn't go out that night either, but I was fine with it. We're still together now and I'm happy.

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  • Well, you could have given us some more details. Like how long you've been dating for, if you're serious etc.

    Birthdays aren't that important to some. My birthday hasn't been that important to me since I was like 10. I stopped celebrating it with parties after I turned 9, I think. Only time I've thrown a party after that was when I turned 18, for obvious reasons. Anyhow, point is that some people just don't think of birthdays as a big deal. And at least he remembered and did text you, that's better than nothing.

    If you've just started dating, it's even more obvious why he didn't do anything special. And who knows, maybe he was just too busy to give you a call. There are tons of reasons why he didn't do anything special. And if you've been together for a longer period of time (I'm guessing it has been under a year, though) this is something you should be able to talk to him about. If it really did upset you that much, just tell him. I can't say this enough: communication is KEY in any kind of relationship. To jump the gun and dump him without even talking about it would be even more rude than what he did to you. Just ask him how important he thinks birthdays are and then go on from there, it's not that freaking difficult.

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  • You'd dump him over that? That's going too far. I'd be disappointed if all he did was text me on my birthday (the least he can do is spend some time with you and do something fun), but that's something to bring up with him and talk about. You don't just jump ship when things don't go the way you would've liked.

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  • It depends how long you guys have been dating.. if it's still a pretty new relationship then maybe try to let it go.. but if you've been together for a while then that's kind of inconsiderate. I don't think it's something to break up over but maybe tell him that it upset you.

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