Here's the thing I "met" this guy on an online dating thing last year. We became friends and kept talking. I would tell him via phone and text all my problems and we communicated on/off for a year mostly I just told him about my problems because he claimed to be a life mentor as well.
He knows that I'm 24 now and never kissed a guy. I literally haven't told that to anyone else and all the rejections/bazillion stories about how I can never get a date everything he's the only person that knows.
Now he told me how he met the hottest girl in his grad college and he started kissing her 2 weeks in and now their dating. Apparently he gets hot chicks, his ex's were hot too.
Now when I message to talk to him he didn't want to talk to me on the phone. I told him about my recent issues. And now that I'm going to get a dating coach. His reply was so short just "oh wow really?'
Then I told him yeah its only a couple options, a) accept I can't get anyone b) keep working on it c) also had thoughts of inflicting cuts on myself but not obviously going there
his reply was"..."
and I said OK your acting like a douche bag lately. no offense.
Then he said he wanted to tell me something but afraid I'm in a fragile state. He told me that he's a regular guy and doesn't know about my level of depression.
I told him it was an exaggeration and to tell me what he was going to say.
His response was:
"you're weird like legit weird. I don't know how to put it any better. Like the first time you pissed me off was that your online but your ignoring me. And now you called me a douche. like I don't know who the f*** is else is going to listen to your sh*t and actually help you. like it gets to the point you legit depress me but I don't say anything. And now your going to say I'm a douche? you need to get your sh*t together"
I've been crying for the past hour or so and almost every time I talk to this guy I end up crying. I don;t know what to do.
Most Helpful Guy
I'm sorry that you are hurt and that he responded so bluntly, but being a crying shoulder is no good for a man. It is plain out debilitating. I don't know how he communicated back when you were telling him your problems, but unless he was obviously attracted to you he probably wanted to get out of the situation and spend his time in a relationship. When you call him and list as one of your life options "accept that I can't get anyone" and talk about cutting yourself it sounds like you are fishing for pity. He's not going to jump in and say "No no no! It's okay, it's okay, things will get better," to give you a very fleeting comfort. And he's not a life mentor, just a normal dude. He can't handle that level of emotional issue any old time. Being called a douche bag while trying to gather his bearings is not pleasant either.
You really need therapy. I had real suicidal issues for a long time from major depression and anxiety, but therapy has helped me a lot. I'm also 24 and I've never kissed or even been on a date, but I feel a lot better than I did before. If you can't get in to therapy ask around for something comparable, or just talk to someone that you know will listen. Maybe at some point in the future you can call this and you two can talk things out.0