Do girls sometimes change their mind?

I met a girl online, and before meeting we were like almost addicted to emailing and texting for like a week. It just naturally flowed. There was like a big anticipation meeting on both ends. When we met she seemed super eager to meet, gave me like a big body press hug, and just looked like she already had a crush...

The thing is, I have had a problem of getting nervous around girls I actually like early on and in the past they have taken it like I am aloof or just not really that into them... That happened and I clammed up. It wasn't terrible but for sure kinda tampered the roll we were on.

Post date she responded to my check in text saying she wants to hang again so I thought we were still okay. However, I had to go away for work for a couple weeks and said we would do so when I get back..When I got back she started getting flaky but still responding in a somewhat distant way. I thought she was playing hard to get so I pursued her. After a couple weeks of that she basically told me she is dating someone else now and is starting to get serious with another guy and is going to roll with just that for now, and basically wished me well. I wasn't totally surprised since I fumbled the first date and there was that 2 week gap after...So I texted her back just being honest letting her know its unfortunate our timing was bad, and how I was nervous on the first because of the potential we had. I said I would of liked to of gotten to known her more when I was at my best but I wished her well and put out there that if things don't go well feel free to hit me up and maybe we can try again if I am not seeing anyone at the time. I wished her all the best and that was it. Not pushy or looking for any response really, and I thought she wouldn't...Then hours later at like 2 AM she texted me back just simply saying Thank You, and that was very sweet, honest and she appreciated that I was able to be open with her. Then wished me well again.

I was not expecting her AT ALL to say yes I will keep you on my mind or anything like that. As that would over complicate it. Do you think that my final text could of meant anything to her? I have been in this situation before where a girl had a choice between me or another guy she had been dating longer and chose him...She then hit me up like 2 months later but I already moved on. However, this situation is different because she responded and seemed to kinda want to make sure she put this to bed, unless I am taking it too literally and she was subtly telling me she does care on some level but this is how the chips fell for now.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think you blew it... She may just be a warm, outgoing person. You can't build yourself up TOO much by the beginning dates. Part of those encounters are just a person's natural persona and not a reflection of anything between the two of you. It sounds like she thinks you're a nice person, but wasn't feeling like it's a good match. Maybe she likes blondes instead of brunettes, maybe you live farther away than she'd like, maybe she has known this guy a long time and it just finally worked out, maybe she's too stressed at work. The point is, it could be ANYTHING. So don't beat yourself up.

    As for the last text ... once again, it's probably an indication of who SHE is, not you. She may be the kind of person who thinks its rude to leave people hanging. The good news is that you're attracted to kind, conscientious girls.

    Just move on. Don't over think it. It sounds like you're aware that you need to become more comfortable meeting people. Just keep on practicing and you'll get better. There are more fish in the sea.

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    • Thanks. I am comfortable around new people. For some I was that way around her. Why if you liked a guy you would see past a fumble?

      I doubt if it's anything small. It could be anything..but why would she of kept me going thinking she wanted to see me again till the very last moment? To be kind and conscientious? I don't think that's kind. The kind thing is to just be honest right away.

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    • Very fair point about this being about me. Probably also projecting my past experiences where it didn't work out at first but worked out down the line. That seems to happen a lot with this online dating. I even had a girl completely stop responding to my calls but contacted me a month later. I'm assuming other people get in the way a lot with online dating since there are so many options, and you have to make quick decisions that you sometimes regret.

    • Sounds like you have a level head ... Just keep on doing what you do and if it's going to work out at this point, the ball is in her court. You seem to realize it could go either way and that it doesn't really matter at this point. You may meet someone you like better today, for that matter.

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What Guys Said 2

  • In the end it doesn't matter since you acknowledged that she's with the other guy. It could mean anything or nothing, but as long as you're not waiting for her, it's all good.

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    • What could I of said though? Forget yo man? ha. I mean her being with a guy is just what's out there, nor would she owe me anything... I don't understand why acknowledging it would matter. But I do agree, could mean anything or nothing. No I am not waiting for her...just finding it hard to forget about her. I rarely see long term potential in someone and I am just kinda kicking myself for dropping the ball like that.

  • You blew it because you were not a challenge. Her interest level in you dropped. She has no control over her interest level...only you do.

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    • That only matters with girls in their 20's. Her interest level dropped when I changed and backed off. I didn't even contact her when I was away. There are women out there that do want to feel they are wanted, especially women in their 30's.

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    • Also I was fine with the fully getting to know her because I had two straight bad dates with some really crazy girls - because I didn't take the time to get to know them.

    • Whoa! Yup..when she told you she wants something "deeper" and wants to know more about you...that's your cue to run the other way! CRAZY ALERT! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! She is so full of BS..I bet she has a tough time walking dude. She spoke womanese to ya bro. Next time a woman makes no sense...just move on to the next one!

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