Should I and how do I offer to pay for a coffee date?

Going for coffee for a first date, should I offer to pay and how do I do that?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Should you? No, not really. There's nothing saying you "should" or that you need to. If you want to, I suppose you could, but no, there's probably no reason you should. Nothing wrong with it. I say just throw it out there if the cheque comes, or if you pay at the til, just casually say "nah, it's OK, I got this" and put down the money on his order.

    Alternatively, you could go dutch as well. Meaning, you pay for what you ordered, and he pays for what he ordered. Though, going dutch sometimes gives the impression that it's not a date, depending on who you talk to. Also depending on who you ask, it might be considered by some that the person who suggested the date in the first place is the one who pays. So if you asked him out, being prepared to pay is definitely a good idea, but if he asked you out, and you payed for everything, he might be surprised, but he probably wouldn't mind.

    Yeah, this could go either way. Sorry if that didn't give you a solid yes or no, but I don't see this as a yes or no. I see it as something that doesn't matter too much. You can make the offer, but if he insists, let him pay. How does that sound?

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    • my question was if I should pay my share , not pay for the whole date :) I just prefer to offer, I always pay for myself but havenot been on a date with a man I met online.

    • Yeah, then just casually offer. Maybe just pull out your wallet when the time comes, and see if he stops you. Sound good?

What Guys Said 6

  • Ask him out for coffee and then ask what he is getting and then order his and your drinks at the same time and pay

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  • When the check comes open your purse to get money and see if he tries to stop you and offers to pay, if he does nothing then you can pay.

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  • Tell him you would like to pay (if you really would) and if it bothers your that much then tell him you would like to pay for yourself.

    I have a girl friend who hates being paid for, so we always split the check.

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  • just go pay for your self, order first if it helps.

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  • first off.. you're making a mistake by worrying about your performance and how you will appear to him. by performance, I mean the way all of us try to act in a way of what we THINK the other person wants to see. When you're dating someone, you want to be able to be totally honest of who you really are, which means dropping the act and being more raw.

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  • Offer to pay for your drink, but when he offers to pay, fold instantly.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Idk about all these guys' answers. Here's what the basic routine is:

    Order whatever you want. When the check comes, reach for your wallet.. If he stops you from pulling out cash from it, then give him a wide-eyed surprised "wow, thank you" with genuine gratitude. If he doesn't stop you, make sure you brought enough cash.

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