Why is he texting me?

A couple of months ago this guy started speaking to me on a dating site. He was funny and smart so I chatted back, but wasn't interested in him in "that" way initially. That came later. There was a bit of flirting between us. He asked if I wanted to meet and I said no initially, I was a bit nervous of meeting someone online. Then I started to like him and mentioned meeting again. He said he'd recently started seeing someone else but agreed to meet me. I was really disappointed - only I could meet some guy that I get on so well with right after he's started seeing someone else!

We met up as 'friends' and got on well, I thought. Just spent a couple of hours chatting away. I'd made a joke about him trying it on before we met and he said "Oh no, I don't cheat". And he didn't. I'd been worried that I wouldn't like him when we met but I liked him a lot. We have a very similar sense of humor.

2 months since we 'met' online and we're still texting pretty much daily. We've not met up again. He's still with the girlfriend. There is quite a bit of sex talk, but not along the lines of "I want to do x, why and z with you", it's more like "What are you into" "I like to do x" and a bit of innuendo. But sometimes it's just general chat or advice giving. But why is he texting so much? Literally hundreds of texts have passed between us in the month that I've had his number. Is that normal? I have not texted some of my lifelong friends as much as this guy! He said he has a lot of female friends. He also apologized for not replying to one of my texts over the weekend - I thought he'd disappeared on me and was thinking that was the end of it, then on the Monday there was the text from him saying sorry.

I went on a date recently and told him about it - he was wanting to know details, texting away on the lead up to it. The date wasn't great and I won't be seeing that guy again.

I guess you could say I'm confused. Does he just see me as a friend? I've never really had guy friends before - is all the sex talk normal coming from a man who has a gf? Is he lining me up just in case it doesn't work out with her? Am I just entertainment for him? I do not want to rock the boat by asking him but I'm wondering what's going on.

Updates:
*y, not why!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey,

    I think that he is semi-interested and at this point viewing you as a potential friend with benefits.. Yes, sex talk is normal coming from a man who has a girlfriend. If things does not work out between him and his girlfriend, then he could always text you because he knows that you like him 'in that way'. I don't think that you are just entertainment, he has other female friends he can chat with. He is just weighing his options because apparently whatever he has going on with his main girl, it's definitely NOT that serious. Don't fall too hard for this guy, in my opinion, he sounds like a bit of a playa/heart breaker.

    Be careful, texts aren't nothing to get excited about. In general, you can text maybe 10 girls/guys at one time the same message and have all of them thinking the same way you are currently thinking. hmmm is he or she into me...blah, blah, etc...

    Continue to date and pursue other people and just don't take this guy serious, period.

    Good luck!

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    • I'll be careful. It's kinda addictive to get all this attention. Also we have similar views on some things, I find myself thinking why is he not single! It's just typical. I think he's used to getting a lot of female attention. He's very confident. But the fact that he said he doesn't cheat and hasn't asked me to meet up again while staying in touch makes me wonder if he's keeping me around just in case it doesn't work out with her. And part of me isn't bothered about being a fallback girl.

What Guys Said 2

  • every thought that you are his girlsaskguys replacement?

    i used to chat with some girl from an online dating site as well about topics that are discussed on this site. we also met once, but never got together.

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    • You mean advice wise? He's the one who gives me advice, not the other way round. There is a lot of sex talk though.

  • Reasons for why he might be texting you often:

    1.) he's bored

    2.) he's using you as a distraction from his boring relationship

    3.) he finds you very attractive

    4.) he lives off of energy drinks

    5.) he stays up late/ is a night owl

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    • A lot of the texts are during the day, although some are later on. He doesn't text when he's with the girlfriend, funnily enough!

What Girls Said 0

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