Its obvious he wants me for sex? Or is he? Please help :(

To prevent a long read here's a breakdown.

1. We've known each other as hi bye friends for years (since highschoo)

2. Over the years we've had flirtatious convo before disappearing into our own thing

3. Recently we found out we both play the same online game and he has been so impressed with me and we started chatting more than usual.

4. The convos would get really flirty and at some point we confessed that we wanted each other

5. So we made plans to meet. He took me to dinner, we talked and he was so interested in my family background and what I do. He paid for my drinks and took me to dance (we stayed sober)

6. he took me to a really fancy hotel room and we spent the night(yes we had sex)

7. we did the same the week after and the week after but here's my problem...

His responses to my messages are so brief it's painful. just a ha ha or a lol. He starts telling me suddenly that he doesn't normally kiss people on the lips and says the "kisses" on his messages were for my cheek. I knew he lost interest in me..and probably used me.

But I'm confused. He would sometimes randomly tell me he was thinking about me more often than he should. He would ALWAYS textme eeveryday even after I decided to cut loose and run for the hills by not initiating text messages. And those 3 nights we spent having dinner and talking for hours on the bed he would share so much about himself and be so interested about me. At first...i just wanted it to be a simple friends with benefits relationship (but I guess it's my bad I never mentioned that clearly) but after sharing so much and making a connection over the month I am starting to want to try and really date him. He asked if I liked relationships and I said I do and he responsed with a smile saying he does too.

So what gives? I'm close to dropping him. Did I screw this up?

Updates:
info on him :


He's a personal trainer. So he works long tiring hours but never fails to message me when he gets home (also dry one liners)


He is always tired and sore from the workout. (he loves the massages I give him to relax...or at least he claims to.)


He has only ever been in one serious relationship which was in high school. All his friends consider him to be a forever alone guy but I'm pretty sure he just hooks up with girls until he decides it's over? is it over with me already?

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What Guys Said 1

  • I think you should have initially told him what you wanted to come out of the relationship/friendship. Maybe he wanted the same thing too (friends with benefits) and now he's seeing you want different ( a relationship) and he isn't ready. Just try talking to him about it. If he is considerate, he will be honest with you. Goodluck

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    • I try to ease in the topic by joking about it. He just smiles and brushes it off saying I'm so cute when I worry too much =_= followed by a "don't worry about it babe ;)" then silence. I think its almost ever since I mentioned about what we expect in this "relationship" that he started replying to my texts weirdly. Could he be avoiding?

      Btw thank you SO much for replying.

    • This time, show him you are very serious about it. Make him sit down and turn off the t.v. and put on your trouser suit, tie your hair back, put on a monkey suit if you have to, anything to stress the gravity of what you want to say to him. Tell him without fear. When he sees things have taken on a different turn, he will react differently as well and probably tell you what he really wants. But If he begins brushing you off, you will know he is not really serious about a deep relationship

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