Me and this girl have been texting for a while. At first everything was going great and we even went on a date once and it was fantastic, but lately I feel like she has lost interest. I know that she has a lot of stress going on but still I can't help but feel like she is being very distant. We live in different towns so texting is pretty much the only way we have to keep in touch. I am always the one that text first, but I Haven't text her in over a week and she want said anything either. Normally I would just move on now, but I really like her and I know that she is very shy and has had some very bad experiences with boyfriends in the past, so I understand if she is a little wary on becoming closer with someone. So what would you girls and guys recommend me here? Should I give it another chance or just leave her alone for a while? Or forever?
Most Helpful Girl
When life is overwhelming, sometimes it's nice to hear from someone who cares for you without expectations. Her being shy, gun shy about relationships, and dealing with personal problems would understandably make her withdraw from relationships. She's probably tired of dealing with people, tired of over thinking every little thing (which can happen when you second guess your decisions because of past mistakes) and she's cocooned herself to deal with as little of life as possible.
A simple well wishing, I'm-thinking-of you text without expecting a response could be a little light of sweetness. Make her feel like she deserves to be thought of, even as she has withdrawn, especially because she has withdrawn from people - that despite her closing herself off there is someone out there who feels that she will get past this difficult time and emerge fine, telling her that she's strong enough to overcome whatever her problems are and she's worth the wait, worth supporting even at her lowest moment.
I think with that attitude toward people - that they are more than their problems, that someone can see past their current behavior and recognize their value - there would be more people who can overcome their problems and not succumb to depression or whatever people deal with when they lose sight of the big picture.
Tell her you're thinking of her. Tell her she's worth waiting for even when she doesn't respond the way you think she should. Think about her feelings regardless of how she reacts to you and even if she doesn't give you anything in return, I do know that your concern and lack of expectations of her will shine in her memories for a long time. Maybe she won't appreciate it immediately she will in time. Moments of kindness have a way of persevering in our memories, giving people a little ray of sunshine in an otherwise bleak existence.
Kindness goes a long way and there is nothing more kind than a word of support or sweetness just for the sake of it. I think you should keep talking to her because it's a nice thing to do for someone who has been hurt by others.