What exactly is a good personality in dating?

Some people would say "it's subjective". I don't agree, I think society says it's largely about being outgoing and lively.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It does seem that way. When I used to use online dating sites I used to notice that most of the women said that they wanted a guy who was outgoing, or they'd make a point of mentioned that they themselves were outgoing.

    The main thing for a guy is confidence. Most women aren't attracted to shy men. I'm quite a quiet guy, I've never been the loud chatty outgoing type, but because I'm confident with it some girls liked it. Most people just seem to associate loudness with confidence, and quietness with shyness, yet many loud people are loud because they're very insecure and desperate for everybody to like them/are covering it up by talking too much, and many quiet people are quiet just because they prefer to sit and listen rather than talk peoples' heads off. I think that's why being outgoing and lively is seen to be desired.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Being non violent and funny

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  • Depends on the person

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  • I agree. Funny and adventurous.

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  • Very polite, nice, FUNNY, smart

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  • Yes outgoing and lively people excel at dating, more so then the rest of us

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  • be adventurous, kind hearted, honest, and most of all BE REAL. dont act differently

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  • some are better than others but everyone interacts differently.

    certain things will usually hurt you such as:

    being very shy and quiet

    being very awkward

    being stupid

    being rude or obnoxious

    but everyone is on good behavior at first and there's really a lid for every pot. awkward people get married. shy people get married.

    it's really about people CONNECTING with each other, everyone DOES like something different. sure, some people are more popular, generally those who are outgoing, know how to make people laugh, and seem confident.

    but, there have been plenty of guys my friends liked and I wouldn't or vice versa! so it is still highly subjective in my opinion.

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    • I am very shy/quiet, awkward and stupid and it is hard as hell to find people but I been on 4 dates in the past 2 weeks so I might finally be getting a break ha.

    • define stupid.

  • I think you should be yourself with a little openness. I say this because you want the other person to get to know your personality. I add openness because some people, like me, are a little shy at first. I have recently put down some of my boundaries to help me gain more friends. If I were my shy self they probably wouldn't like me, since some people take my shyness as passive aggressive. So being more open when talking to guys shows them that I'm not trying to be better than them. I personally would not try being more outgoing. That's not my personality. I would feel kinda fake if I were too outgoing around a guy if I was just getting to know him. This is where the openness would come into play. I would just be honest with him and tell him that I am shy when first getting to know someone, but open up and feel more confident when I get to know them. I hope this makes sense to you. :) good question and good luck with the answers!

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What Guys Said 4

  • It is subjective but what's throwing you off is that many people want the same traits which constitute a "backbone" for personalities. Outgoing, funny, lively, intelligence are things all people enjoy and it's from there that most minute, personalized character traits are added. Also, there are probably some people who don't fit this rule and don't require their potential significant other to have any of those traits. Think of them as dating hipsters, if you will.

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  • Good personality often means "nice", as in "there's nothing exceptional about them but I can't say anything bad about them either, so they're nice".

    It's one of those cliches I guess.

    But to answer the question: assertive, extroverted, positive, happy, great sense of humor all help.

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  • if the guy isn't good looking then he is automatically considered beta,loser,failure,trash

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  • Well, it is subjective, as each person likes a different personality. However, there should be a personality that the majority of people like, therefore giving you the best possible chance of finding a partner. I'm positive that confidence is a part of that winning personality, but I'm not sure about other traits.

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    • how do you define confidence?

    • Not being timid around girls, knowing what you want, but not taking things so far that you seem stuck up or pushy.

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