What's the longest you've ever dated/been with someone before you "made it offcial?"?

What's the longest amount of time you've ever been with someone before deciding to make your relationship official? For the purposes of this question, "official" will be classified as the point at which you decided to make a (non-matrimonial) commitment to the other person.

Typical examples include:

- Boyfriend/Girlfriend

- Telling friends, family acquaintances you're with someone

- "Going public"

You get the idea. Basically anything past the "getting to know them through casual dating" phase.

Note: "Official" as in whatever that means to you, telling your family, using formal titles, etc.

  • Days
    14% (12)21% (10)17% (22)Vote
  • Weeks
    25% (21)23% (11)24% (32)Vote
  • Months
    27% (23)19% (9)24% (32)Vote
  • Years
    6% (5)4% (2)5% (7)Vote
  • Never been in a formal relationship.
    28% (23)33% (15)30% (38)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Several months.

    We were dating for a long while but she had problems around putting a label on us. She never once referred to me as her boyfriend which in all honesty was a little bit of a downer. Made it feel as though it was an obstacle in our relationship; making something out of nothing.

    I've dated several girls who treated me like a boyfriend, expected to be treated as a girlfriend, but refused to acknowledge the facts to ether themselves or to others. Admittedly I've done the same thing in the past.

    Sometimes it's just easier not defining something that just is... and sometimes it's not...

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What Guys Said 6

  • Weeks. Probably 3-4 at the most. More typically, it's less than a week, but to be fair, I spend a lot of those first few days "interviewing" the girl, and letting her interview me, so that we can figure out if we are compatible, and if not, I break it off. I need to know a lot about a girl before I get into a relationship with her, but I make a point to find that information out quickly. No point it wasting either of our time if it isn't gonna work out, so I get right to the point.

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  • Zero time, Every relationship I've been in has been a relationship from the very start. It's never been, dating but available to see other people.

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  • About two or three weeks

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  • I don't do that kinda dating sooo.. 0? But I have been in official relationships.

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  • I should have read the whole question. I answered "years" but the answer should have been "weeks". Four weeks, exactly.

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  • voted D, but I'm not even worthy of that, never been on a date...

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What Girls Said 12

  • I wanted to take my time getting know my partner before I introduced other people, like my parents. We were friends before for about six months so I wanted to spend time deciding whether it was gonna work out being more than friends and see a different side to my partner. So we went on dates and saw a lot of each other for four months and I felt we got to establish we were compatible and keeping our relationship for that time private and low key definitely worked for us. Two years on and we're stronger than ever, in our own home and have a beautiful daughter.

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  • The longest time before it was official was around 1-2 months

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  • Ive never actually been in one but I plan to

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  • I've only had bunch of first dates. =(

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  • Months...longest was probably 5-6 months. I'm comfy with 8 months or so, especially if they have a child (as I do), because it takes longer to integrate someone into your life and make sure they should be there.

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  • I don't date multiple people at the same time.

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  • Usually a few dates.

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  • 1 1/2 years

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  • Oh crap ha I voted by only reading the poll. I thought "official" meant sex, so I voted years. Official how you said it my vote would have to be b - weeks

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  • more than 3 years of courtship

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    • wowwwwww. looong time

    • ehh he's just stubborn :D... dating/courtship is different here though.

  • I've only been with one guy so far and unfortunately it was a casual sex based relationship so I voted E. He never actually took me on a date, it was just hanging out at each others' houses and cuddling/making out/having sex.

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  • To answer your queation, the longest for me was a year. We met through friends and always hung out together and then people started to see us as a couple. I don't think that was the right approach because looking in hindsight, if we wanted to be a couple, we would have made that decision ourselves rather than feeling obligated to out a label on it ir move to that next level. We clearly were not made for each other because we are getting a divorce.

    I think if its meant to be, you don't necessarily need labels or a time when you say you are official, you both feel committed to each other and respect each other. You may something like at this time, my expectation is to be committed to you, so they know, but it should be natural.

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