Guys, do you really like the chase?

I've heard from a lot of FEMALES that men like the chase. They like to work a little at getting a girl. Is this true? Will having a girl not always available or instantly responding to your messages or calls make you a little more interested? Does knowing that she's not dependent on you and has her own life and therefore you have to 'work' for her attention really appealing? Do you appreciate her perhaps a little more in the long run?

**I'm not saying that the girl is playing either, that's childish. Just saying that she doesn't just make herself always available and isn't always texting and calling him, therefore he's 'chasing' her.

Updates:
I don't mean that the girl plays games, not what I'm saying at all.

The girl is interested, she too initiates contact whether it's calling or texting BUT she's not overbearing. If they don't talk then they don't talk and she doesn't make a huge deal over it either. She has a life but makes sure she includes him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • In the real world, yeah guys do.

    On this website, not so much. This website is heavily populated by guys who don't know how to chase and are lazy enough to demand the world change and the girls start chasing, rather than learn how to chase themselves and discover their deeply repressed masculinity which might enjoy the chase.

    Where girls frequently go wrong with understanding this information, is that guys don't chase girls who play hard to get. For the same reason dogs chase cars on the street but don't chase cars on the motorway.

    If you're moving away from a guy at speed, he's not going to give chase.

    For most guys, you have to at least look like you want to be caught. And preferably by him.

    If you start running (playing hard to get) the only guys who will pursue you are the ones who are more in love with the chase than any girl. And like the dog/car analogy, if he ever catches you he won't know what to do with you. He will just turn around and chase another.

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    • Yeah pretty much love your answer!

      Thank you. I agree that when females play these games of playing hard to get it's childish and stupid. My question is more along with what you said with the girl wanting to be caught by the caught by the guy but not making it too simple.

What Guys Said 20

  • No, I hate the chase... I don't agree with anon either, he puts it down to being lazy of not knowing how to chase. I've had 'the chase' and been successful with it, but I still hate it. It's frustrating and feels like one big mind game the whole time. I find it annoying because it's mainly a bullsh*t game, if you like someone you should just go for it, playing hard to get doesn't make me want someone more, it's more likely to make me think that the person is into playing mind games which often means that they're the kind of person who likes to manipulate or they analyse things too much.

    I like when a girl is the person who shows interest in me and is available when she's actually available, I don't expect her to be free all the time or able to text back every second of the day... But when she's ignoring for the sake of it, it's just pointless to me. Again anon has said that guys want the girls to do the chasing, I don't mind being the person who has to initiate things... It's just easier if we're not getting played so that we 'may show more interest'. Believe me, if there are two people, one is showing me she's interested and contacting me when she can, and the other is being coy and playing hard to get, avoiding texts, and trying to remain at a bit of a distance... Who do you think a guy would pick? Oh and don't mistake that as being 'easy', a girl who is 'easy' just uses guys and flies through endless amounts of them... Being available isn't being easy, it's just being keen about the person.

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  • Confident men like the chase. Men without confidence (which is a growing majority) hate it.

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  • Players like the chase.

    That's a small subset of men, but a high proportion of the men women are after.

    Its a bit like how a lot of PUA advice for men is entirely concerned with hot to pick up stuck up near-models who are hit on constantly.

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  • I like it when she makes me chase her at the start but she has to reciprocate my interest quickly or I move on.

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  • Only when they continually leave behind encouragement. I need to believe I'm going to catch them in the end.

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    • I understand that and appreciate that. Yes she show you that'll be worth it in the long run.

  • No. It's really tiring. I would rather much prefer to be chased, tyvm.

    But what I really love, is the kind of chase that is mutual. When both of us know we like each other but we're not confessing. So both of us have to take up the initiative and the courage to chase each other. I think that's quite a nice feeling. :3

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  • This clearly depends on the type of guy, just like everything else.

    If it's a confident guy he won't mind the chase and a little challenge, but overplay this and he will might go look for another girl, whom is overplaying this. Playing very hard to get will frustrate any guy and seem make you seem that you just aren't ready yet, so they will eventually move on and make you wonder what is wrong when everything was going so good.

    If it's a non confident guy, then playing hard to get will be a bust from the get go. So, just don't even try to play hard to get with this type of guy.

    In the getting to know one phase of any relationship, a little mystery is great to keep the sparks flying and the romance interesting.

    Though playing hard to get won't make a guy think that you are a great catch, but more being a pain in the butt if you don't loosen up after awhile.

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  • It's more complicated I think. Its not so much about the chase its more about being equally paced. I have had relationships develop really quick and things being really straight forward and at the time that was fine. At the moment I'd like to take things slow and not rush into anything so now I prefer it if we don't talk or sms all the time and I can do my own stuff. So dating letting time pass seems good to me. It's not about chasing its about having similar pace. If I like someone it won't matter how available she is or isn't. But going to fast or too slow might be a bit more of a problem.

    Well that's what I think anyway might differ for other people.

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  • Guys like the chase if they're interested. Let's be honest, you need a balance. If a girl is entirely straightforward (hi, I wanna be your girlfriend, sign the contract here) then it's bad, but too many games and a guy will be put off. Basically a guy will work for it if the payoff is worth the work.

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  • In HS I chased... without much success. When I was a bit older, in college and Uni, I let them come to me ...and it worked way better.

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  • No, nobody likes someone who takes forever to reply. I just take it as she doesn't like me very much if she takes forever to respond.

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  • I hate it because I'm shy, I get nervous and stuff about chasing.

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  • Some guys that enjoy the chase are usually after something valuable, but most of those who are unlucky with women don't enjoy it.

    I personally get a thrill out of it, but I never seem to get anywhere with the girls I chase.

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  • No I would rather get straight to the point

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  • The chase is great and makes the catch that much more sweet.

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  • LOL. Is it any wonder men wonder what the f*** is going on in women's brains?

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  • No, I hate it and I don't chase. I like to relate to my girlfriend as an equal, if I have to put more effort to start the relationship than she has, that's a big bad RED flag. That's why I only try once.

    I don't need she answers immediately, I don't need she answers at all. That's just petty. But I do want to know if she wants to be with me or not as soon as I approach her. I don't like to feel like I have to do something for her to like me.

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  • What I don't like is if a girl is available, whether it's texting, calling, going on a date, or whatever it may be, and she refuses to do one of the following just because she wants to make it look like she's not obsessed. If I receiver a text, I text back as soon as possible. Same thing with calling someone.If someone reads my text, my email, gets my phone call, and then they deliberately wait to respond, but do respond, then I don't want to waste my time with said girl. She could be madly in love with me, and may do this to avoid making it look like she's overbearing, but if I find out that she's deliberately not responding back to my text, or calls as soon as possible (it doesn't have to be the second she receives it, jut as soon as she is available to respond) then I don't care how much she loves me. I don't care if I am madly in love with her. If I find that she deliberately waits to respond regardless of her reason, then I am done with said girl.

    I don't like a girl that is overbearing, so I also don't want a girl that gets upset just because we haven't talked in a few days. Shit happens and life gets in the way, but if I were to leave a message and she could've responded and her ONLY reason to wait on responding back is because she doesn't want to come off as overbearing, then I'm done with her.

    Example of how a girl can handle this situation. I know a girl read my message but it took her several days to respond. I didn't ask her why she didn't respond, or any of that. In her next message she notified me why she took a while to reply back. Once again, this was without me saying anything to her. Usually I leave long messages, kind of like this, and she felt it would take a couple of days before she has enough time in her busy schedule to reply back to the message in full. To actually give her best response. Now, she could've been bullsh*tting me, but I believed her. In that situation, that's perfectly fine. I don't know how that constitutes as chasing a girl though.

    "They like to work a little at getting a girl. Is this true?" - How guys define work. Not true.

    "Will having a girl not always available or instantly responding to your messages or calls make you a little more interested?" - No.

    " Does knowing that she's not dependent on you and has her own life and therefore you have to 'work' for her attention really appealing?" - Yes, at not being dependent. If a girl likes me, then there shouldn't be any "work" for me to get her attention. In my eyes, and probably many others, "work" means I have to try over and over and over again just to get her to like me. Once she likes me, I would then have to continue "working" just to keep her attention. Sorry, if a girl truly likes me, she'll give me attention on her own time. That's not me having to work, that's called me having patience.

    "Do you appreciate her perhaps a little more in the long run?" - Not at all.

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  • Lol. Obviously women say that so it justifies them doing nothing. I will never chase Anyone because I have better things to do. I want them to show interest and plan things to do and I will show interest and plan things to do

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  • Of course you've heard from a lot of females that guys like the chase, since females always think they know what we want and like while they have no idea what they want or like. The chase is stupid and I am not going to parade around and chase some girl who is just going to treat me like crap and I may not have a shot with in the end.

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    • That's why I emphasized on females. I really have no idea myself hence the question.

      But if you do have a chance with her and she's interested in you and you just a work a little harder to get her would that be different?

    • Only if I am not made to look stupid from it. Like if I see her in public and she gives me the cold shoulder or pretends I am not there while she's with her friends. If she doesn't have time to return my texts or calls in a timely fashion, I can find someone who can. I am doing just fine on my own, but a relationship is always nice so its not something I need but rather something I want. Guys are catching on to the little tricks and games girls play and we're all kinda tired of it to be honest.

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