I think my friend's trying to get out of the friend zone. Am I right?

It's a guy I've been friends with since September. I was really sick for 2 weeks. The second week, I lost my voice and I wasn't going well at all. He'd text me everyday in the morning and around night time to ask how I was feeling. Nobody asked about me more than him in those 2 weeks, including my family and all my friends (I'm single and he seemed to care like my ex would have). I finally healed and now he texts me less but he still often texts me in the evening, although we have most of our classes together during the day.

We spent our Friday night with 3 other people working on an assignment at school. We wanted to go drink a beer afterward and everyone choked but him, in the end. He would have gone but wouldn't have drank because he had to drive home. So I just went home after all. He texted me like 5 minutes after.

Him: I would have liked to do something even though there would be no alcohol

Me: Bla bla bla

Him: But anyway you didn't want to

Me: Massive party pooping turns me off, it's depressing.

Him: Personally I would have liked to do something with you

Me: Bla bla bla

Him: Yeah, anyway I would have liked it

Me: I tell myself that next Friday nobody will have an excuse so that shall be a great night

Him: Yeah but you know, I don't have a bed here, just at my father's, so I'll have no choice but to leave early this time as well.

It really seems to me like he wanted to be alone with me tonight. He usually leaves by midnight to go home when we go out with friends. Today we would have gone out at 10, so maybe his last text hinted that he was hoping he'd get to spend 10h00-12h00 alone with me. He always asks me questions about what I'm doing and what I like, I feel like I never get to ask him anything about him because we're always talking about me. What do you think? He even texted me when he arrived home at 11h30!

Sometimes we text around my bedtime and I have to let him know I'm going to bed or else he'll think I'm ignoring his texts. Last time I forgot to reply to him, it was to his "How are you doing?" morning text, when I was sick, and he sent me a message later in the afternoon about something else, not failing to note that I hadn't responded to him.

(He texted me ONCE AGAIN, 5 minutes later, about his dog licking him when he came home. We've exchanged over 200 texts in the last month compared to 90 with a common girl friend of ours whom I met around the same time).


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's quite obvious he is more than a friend to you. Apparently, you think of yourself only as his friend.

    There will be trouble with these crossed messages. Instead of pretending not to 'get it', you have to explain your feelings to him right away, or he will take your silence as assent, you know.

    Then when you finally trell him no, he'll be hurt; in his mind, you have led him on.

    So tell him now, before you see him again, that he can't hope for anything more.

    Unless YOU want more...!

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    • I don't think I want him to be more than a friend. I don't see what else to do other than pretending not to get it, as you say. I know it sucks but I don't want to make everything awkward for nothing. If he does make a proper move, like ask me for more than friendship or ask me on a date or something, THEN I'd feel the need to clear things up. Now I feel like me not accepting to go out with him alone sends a message as it is. How can I make him understand without really introducing the matter?

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    • Well... I thought he wouldn't think this way because he's not my only male friend. I have a gazillion male friends and like... 2-3 female friends. So male friends are the majority of my friends. Anyway, thanks!

    • That's what I mean..he thinks he is special, out of all your male friends.

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