Is agreeing to meet my ex for coffee a really bad idea?

I started seeing a guy about a month ago and we've been on 3 dates so far. He kissed me at the end of both our second and third dates. We had plans to grab dinner this past week before he left for 2 weeks to visit family, but he got stuck at work and couldn't make it. He said we will go out when he gets back. I also don't hear form him much when we are not together (like he doesn't test me to say Hello or check in unless I text him first). So while we are seeing each other, I'm not sure if we are dating. Is it too soon to be considered dating?

Normally I would just be patient, wait until he gets back and see where in goes. But this morning, I got a rather surprising text from my ex, saying Hi, and asking how I've been. My ex and I didn't really end on bad terms, he just didn't want serious relationship. I haven't heard from him in a few months. Now he's asking what I've been up to over the summer, and he asked me if I wanted to grab coffee or a drink some time soon.

Should I got out with my ex, or is that just asking for trouble? Is that "cheating" on the guy I've been on a few dates with? On one hand I feel like 3 dates doesn't really mean dating and he doesn't talk to me much in between dates. But on the other hand, he has kissed me and talked about going out again when he gets home.

Any advice or have you been in a similar situation?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not exclusive to dating guy who's not really all that pushed with you. Not really into him myself either. Nothing official or exclusive going on. He could be more 'into you' so I'd say just go out if you've nothing on your agenda. Very blase and not 'all that.' As for ex, why would he be calling unless he's looking for something? Just meet with ex and see what's the score. If he wants to get back together, make your decision. In relation to dating/not really sure guy, I'd say, do what you want to do in this...the ball IS in your court.If dating guy was really really into you, he'd have made more clear moves and also been more in contact...not a runner in my books.

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    • Thanks for the advise. I am going to meet up with my ex after work this week. I'm intentionally just doing happy hour or a drink on a work night so I'm guessing it will be an hour or 2. What do I say if he asks if I'm dating someone? I kinda am, but it's obviously not serious.

    • Please Best answer me. You can say this (with a smile): 'I was hoping this was a date...' or if you don't want to sound too ballsy, ' Nothing that's more important that us right now...' Keep the focus on him if you want him. Have fun with him. Let him see that he's missing fun with this awesome girl called YOU!

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