What to do if the guy you're dating won't add you on Facebook?

I've been dating a guy for 3 months now, and didn't know until the other day that he actually had a Facebook. I searched for him when we first started dating and couldn't find him, so I assumed he didn't have a fb page. every time I talked about fb, he never said he had one, so I assumed he didn't. Anyways, I found out yesterday that he does have one. I find it weird that he hasn't added me, or said anything about it before now. I don't know what I should do. Any suggestions? Thanks!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Stop assuming and ask him about it. This is the advice I'm always getting, and as hard as it is to follow sometimes, the truth is its the best course of action. I recently just had a fight with my boyfriend because I was assuming and not communicating. Also, I didn't add my boyfriend to Facebook until we had been dating for four months. Eventually he got insecure with me about it, and had been waiting for me to do so he might be the same way, or have a number of valid reasons not to (that are in no way a reflection of your relationship). Just ask him about it. Or ask him what he thinks of couples on fb (to get the topic going), or non intrusively ask, "is it okay if I add you/the relationship to Facebook?" Again, I highly doubt it means anything or should be a cause to worry. Find out so you can stop worrying.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Facebook is not real life. Real life is what you are living. Real life is what you are having with him. Obviously the FB profile he has does not correspond to real life, thus he does not want you be involved in it. You are real life. His FB profile is not.

    Now forget it and get on with reality.

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  • Stop making Facebook related to real life. You go out with him and have a good time. That's all you need.

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  • I agree with the others - it's just FB

    ...but I also agree with you, QA. It is weird he never talked about it, even after you mentioned it multiple times. Almost as if he intentionally didn't want you to see his FB for whatever reason.

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  • well, your problem is that you didn't bring it up right away and find out from him directly. you're in the same boat as most people in this world, you want to avoid any type of conflict. that's an essential thing in civilized culture, but when it comes to your close relationships its actually detrimental

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What Girls Said 4

  • Most guys really don't care about FB, and only see it as a source of drama. Ask him about it. Are you guys in a serious committed relationship, or is this just a causal thing? If he's not seriously committed, then he probably sees no reason to FB friend you, IF he even cares about FB.

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  • He doesn't want to use Facebook, so I don't see why it would matter. It would be a whole different story if he was actually active on Facebook, but didn't want to add you. So just let it go.

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  • It's just a stupid internet page, so don't make your life harder overreacting... He's with you, right? So be with him in a real life ;) Live a true life, not an cyber one :)

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  • I agree with yadda... I'm on fb a lot but much of my personal life isn't there. Don't over think it, he may not even use it much.

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