How to I stop getting turned on?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two month. This is our first time dating someone and we want to take things slowly. We both don't want to have sex until after we get married, this includes kissing. I just recently learned about and am experiencing getting turned on. I don't like it and it is more of a hinder and a temptation. Please help me stop!

I am not saying I think masturbation or self pleasuring is totally bad I just don't like it. We do hold hands, cuddle next to each other and hug but no kissing, sharing the same blanket, laying in the same bed and no sex. And my parents never said masturbation is bad I just don't like it.
Oh and we are more courting then dating. A lot of times were refure to it as dating when someone asks because I am personally tired if explaining it.
The thing is in the bible it says do not lust. And when you self pleasure you think about someone else or yourself. So I don't think I will because when ever I have thoughts about by boyfriend in that way I feel ashamed and hide. If it was right and God was OK with it I would not have these feelings.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Good for you waiting for marriage! That's awesome! There will always be temptation to sin, we just have to remember that we are humans not animals and that we can win out over our basest desires.


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What Guys Said 4

  • I don't know if I am reading the question right but are you saying that you won't even kiss each other until marriage when you say "this includes kissing?" Most religious types are mainly referring to extremely sexual things when they refer to abstaining. I don't know how you can date at all if you can't be affectionate with each other at all. A hug and cuddle typically leads to things like making out and such.

    These sexual urges are not evil. Your parents are probably just extremely careful about you being a daughter and such because daughters can get pregnant.

  • You don't expect him to not masturbate, do you? That'd be a hard thing to do.

    • I just want to add that if there's a god, he created us to get turned on. Sex could be painful. It isn't. It's a wonderful gift of incredible love, intimacy and pleasure. It is not shameful in that light. Not one bit.

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    • No I think you are making valid points. Everyone has on this topic and has really got me thinking. I have a lot to learn and decide. I guess since everything came up so quickly I am just overly cautious. I did just started dating my first guy at 18 and have never liked someone let alone experienced any of these feelings before so I panicked. I kind of have a new perspective on self pleasure. Don't know if I will ever do it but I will not judge it so quicKly. Still won't do sex though.

    • Oh and by the way he does not. He did at one time but did not feel it to be right so he stopped.

  • I don't know. That's a tough one since one of the reasons most people get together is because of some type of sexual attraction even if its just making out.

  • Most guys just masturbate so they aren't turned on anymore. I don't know if that would work for a girl, but it might.

    • I try not to masturbate either.

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    • Yes I get your point and it is valid but I am saying that the bible was written through men and inspired by God. This sight won't tel me share a link so look up, Who Wrote the Bible: God or Man? By Dr. Todd Fisher.

    • You shouldn't take any one part too seriously as they don't always apply in our modern world. Thinking about sex all the time, can promote cheating. So the bible advises you not to think about those things. Which was fine when people got married so young. It was not written with people getting married so late in mind.

What Girls Said 0

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