A guy allowing his date to pay...

How bad is it if a guy allow you to pay on a date ?

Lets say you guys went to the movies and he paid for the tickets

Than you pay for popcorn drinka etc.. is that bad that

He actually allowed you to open your wallet while his right there !?

You guys are not official boyfriend girlfriend, but are seeing each other

P.s its the 5th date, you guys been talking for 4 months


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Trust me, if you pay for your OWN stuff, without him asking. The guy will REALLY appreciate it.

    If he pays for your stuff, it means he likes you.

    If he ASKS you to pay for your own stuff, that would be bad.

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What Guys Said 16

  • By the fifth date it's not bad at all. For me, I'd always pay for the first date and probably the first three depending on how the girl responds assuming I wanted to see her again. Thereafter I'd definitely be looking for the girl to chip in to keep things fair. If she really wasn't interested in helping to pay for dates I'd start drawing some negative conclusions about why she was really dating me.

    Bottom line: you did well and have nothing to worry about with this

    Going on five dates over four months sounds pretty infrequent to me though.

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    • Lmao thank you your so funny

  • Either bad or it means he's cheap... Even the fact he doesn't try to offer is bad. I always pay, although some girls are determined to try and do their part. Although I've never had a 'just seeing someone' basis, I've only ever been in or out of a relationship, never half chips half rice.

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  • No offense at all meant to the QA, but I always LOL at these kinds of questions.

    How could it possibly be bad if a guy "allows" his date to pay for part of their date? That logic makes no sense to me.

    Now, I'll admit that I do like paying on a first date. I see it as a really nice gesture, and besides, my first dates are usually pretty inexpensive so it's not like I'm breaking the bank. I'm not gonna make a big deal out of a $20 bill for coffees and scones, ya know? But I will say this...when a girl offers (and even makes a cute attempt to insist) to pay for half, it does make a very good impression on me. If I'm being perfectly honest, it's actually kind of a big deal.

    After that I think it should be 50/50, but not to the point of being anal about it.

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  • i don't think it's bad

    why would it be bad?

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  • best words ever spoken about this topic from a girl that speaks nothing but the truth. I LOVE her YouTube channel.

    link

    if that doesn't work just YouTube: jenna marbles girls that piss me off.

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  • It's not bad to go dutch. I've been taken to task for trying to pay. I'd say if she volunteers to pay, let her. It's a free country. I'm not the boss of my date. I'm just her date. It's not like I'm buying her sexual favors with popcorn and soda...

    Or is it? ;-)

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  • By fifth date you will pay something, but if on the first date you haven't offered to pay anything, it will be unlikely there will be a fifth. Fact is I want to see willing from the girl, a guy should have theability to say, "nope, I'll get that, " that says way more than a girl who expects me to pay.

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  • Any bill over $50 is something to concern yourself over. You're thinking too much into it. Seems fair to me to split it up a bit.

    Red flag is if he's ASKING you to pay for him on any level with no intent of paying you back or reciprocating.

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  • No not at all, that's ridiculous! What's with women and never wanting to spend their own money when they're with a man?

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  • i think it's this is exactly how it should be, specially if both make their own money.

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  • It's a good thing and should happen every time.

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  • I think it's VERY healthy for a relationship for the girl to pay once in a while.

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  • I actually don't allow it. I am old school and pay for everything. When younger though I am sure a guy would appreciate the gesture.

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  • Don't be so cheap

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  • i don't see anything wrong with that. EQUALITY, why the double standard. don't get me wrong, I would happily pay for dinner on a date but why are you acting like it's bad that you actually had to pay for something? maybe he's just making sure you're not a gold digger or a leech that burns through his money. that's how I filter through the girls I date.

    perhaps he didn't think it was a big deal.. did he pay for all the other dates?

    5 dates in 4 months though, are you guys even dating lol that's like seeing each other once a month

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  • I certainly wouldn't tell a women that she is not "allowed" to pay. LOL I don't own her, she can pay if she wants. I actually appreciate that she wants to pitch in and help out.

    I think a lot of men and women over worry about what this means. There are no hard and set rules when dating, and our culture on dating has changed so much, in such a small amount of time, that neither gender is sure on how to act, or what something means when it happens.

    When I first started dating I was told if a girl pays for herself that means, she doesn't like you and doesn't want to feel like she owes you anything. Later I was told, If a girl pays for herself it means that she likes you and wants to prove that she is willing to pull her own weight in a relationship. There is no one right answer. Just feel it out and try not to over think things too much.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I can't accurately say whether it is a bad sign or not, just because I don't believe in the same "dating rules" as a large part of our society practices.

    But I will say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with paying for yourself. If he wanted you to pay for him that SO wouldn't be cool, but I actually think it is a lot more fair for each person to pay for themselves, or TAKE TURNS paying. It's more equal and give-and-take that way. Never understood why the guy always got landed with the tab. Hardly seems fair.

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    • That's because modern dating rules were created post WWII (late 40s-60s) when most women/girls didn't work and had no means of making money. Most guys worked, so if they wanted to date, they had to pay (granted, expectations were low as far as what he was expected to pay for; no fancy restaurants or expensive clubs).

      Those rules don't reflect modern culture, which is why they are (slowly) changing.

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