He is kinda cheap and a bad kisser, but should I go on dating him?

When I first met him my initial reaction was : wow I kinda like this guy, he is goodlooking, he is interesting. He asked me out and we went for a drink. Before going on a date he went to a night store to bbuy himself a drink and asked if I wanted it as well ... that was cheap atempt #1. After then we went for a drink somewhere, I ordered beer because I didn't want it to cost more money for him.

To our second date he brought wine with plastic cups to a park, where we had to sit on a bench and drink it ... I hated the idea ...

I'm thinking maybe he is just clueless about how to treat girls and stuff? That's why I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. But there is more though: I don't feel anything when he kisses me. He just shoves his tongue in my mouth ...

His positive traits are: he always texts me and asks me about the stuff I do. He calls me regurlarly ... I don't know if I should go on with this. The thing is I'm also afraid of being alone ... Casual dating is not something for me ... WHat should I do?

P.S I don't want him to pay for everything, I only don't pay the first 2 dates just to see if he is a generous person. If I am convinced that he is, I will pay my share as well. It's not about the money


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Most Helpful Guy

  • what's a night store?

    i've drank wine out of plastic cups simply because it's easier that carrying around wine glasses. plus where I'm from it's illegal to drink alcohol in public so plastic cups can appear to be something other than booze... perhaps he's not cheap perhaps he's just smart. Plus maybe he doesn't want to break the bank on the chance that you never want to see him again, especially if he's had a string of bad dates.

    the kissing is separate and that just sounds like a guy who isn't a good kisser.

    you shouldn't stay or be with someone at all because you are scared to be alone. you should be with someone because you like them and see them as a potential partner.

    regarding your 2 date no pay rule. I'd axe that one. I have no problem paying for dates and like to extend the courtesy/generosity...but I also hope that a girl will at least offer to pay rather than some unspoken expectation. I'll politely tell her "no it's on me" but I like to see that she doesn't simply expect things

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What Guys Said 4

  • I think it's interesting you call him cheap but he's paid for all your drinks. How cheap would that make you? I didn't know there is a rule on how to spend money on girls.

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    • all my drinks? Just one beer and that's because I was so kind enough to think about the costs and ordering a beer. Girls don't like cheap guys, that is how it is. It's never gonna change.

    • It sounds like he's paid for everything but he's the cheap one.

  • These first impressions won't go away, ever, and you'll always be recalling them. So it's not likely the relationship is going to blossom...and you're not available if someone more compatible comes along, right, so long as you're dating him..

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  • He might be broke, and trying to make ends meet. That's different from cheap. Make sure you know which one you're dealing with.

    Cheap isn't always bad. Cheap is how you get to where you don't HAVE to be cheap any more. :-)

    As for the kissing, you can fix that easily if he's willing to learn. Take his face in your hands and then tell him "I want you to kiss me like this". Then kiss him how you want to be kissed. Give pointers until he gets it right, and then tell him he's got it goin' on so he'll keep doing it.

    If he won't accept your guidance on how you want to be kissed, that's a way bigger issue than how much cash he wants to burn on a date.

    Lastly, how important should his generosity with his funds be to you? What does that say about your own priorities? Are you looking for a sugar daddy?

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    • If I was looking for a sugar daddy, I would find a sugar daddy. Obviously, I know the guy is cheap and I'm still willing to give him a chance. A guy's generosity is a dealbraker, if he acts like this on the first dates that means when we go further in our ''relationship'' he will become even more lousy. WHen I hear my grilfriends going out on great dates, I feel upset.

    • Show All
    • Broke wouldn't be a deal breaker, because being broke is not a character flaw in my opinion. Being cheap is. I know he is not broke, my guy instict tells me that he is just sneaky. Probably wants to test the waters before spending anything. I'm sure if he knew I was going to have sex with him on the same day he would buy me a dinner :) maybe I'm paranoid, but when a guy behaves like this I start thinking weird stuff.

      P.S thank you for taking your time for answering my question.

    • No problem, and I'd follow your gut instinct. Most of the time it's well founded. If you get a sneaky cheap calculating vibe from him, I'd shy away.

  • I like him, he's frugal. That's actually a great trait for long-term relationships presuming he's frugal all around and isn't cheap just with women. While he could have executed these things in a better manner ( such as just dirtying a blanket at the park, the cup material would be a lot less awkward ) he at least has some dedicated direction towards priorities. Then again maybe not and it's just him learning from the past.

    As for the kissing thing just tell him how to kiss you. You'd be surprised how simple it is to get someone to match your behavior; you think he's being weird about it and honestly he probably thinks the same thing. Kissing within rhythm requires one partner to step in and take charge.

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    • Being very cheap is a huge deal for me. I don't expect a guy to pay for everything or take me to very expensive places, I just want to know that deep inside he is a generous individual. If I know that he is generous but lacking the money, I will pay for other dates. A meal doesn't cost much, if he can spend that money when going out, he could spend that money on a girl he likes. Which kinda brings me to conclusion that he probably doesn't like me much if he is being cheap ... I could be wrong ...

    • Being frugal and being generous are not mutually exclusive. Many people make the mistake of thinking that early impressions are reflections of a person's true nature. This has been historically proven to be false all the way around so if anything you may be even better off with someone who is openly frugal ( which doesn't mean they are not generous with time, money, or effort at all ) versus someone who wines and dines you and then tightens up. It's a poor conclusion.

    • Have you ever heard "I am frugal so that I can afford to be generous?" by chance? It's a good motto; there are two types of monetary outlooks when it comes to generosity. The first is a steady stream of money; you neither get the dream vacations nor do you ever go a week without a dinner at some resturaunt. The second involves you going on a dream vacation annually but not going out for dinner except once a month. It's your pick which you'd prefer really.

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