Should I be concerned that he recently logged onto the dating site where we met?

We met a little while ago online and we have been out on 3 dates in the past month. By the end of the second date, he kissed me, and then again on the third date. Right now he is out of town for 2 weeks on business. I've only heard from him once since he left and that was in reply to me asking how he's doing. That's not that unusual because he didn't text me much between our past dates either.

Today I noticed that he logged on to the dating site, and I had seen that he also logged on 2 days ago. Prior to that, it had been over a week since he logged on. I hid my profile, so I can log on, but I'm not visible, and I wouldn't contact anyone because they can't see me. Should I be concerned that he was back on the site? I'm new to things getting this far with a guy I met online, so I'm not sure what is "normal." I thought the dates went well, and he said we'll go out again when he got back, so I think he thought they went well too.

What do you think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It depends on how seriously you view the relationship, and how seriously he views it. If it was just a kiss good night then he may not feel that establishes a true "relationship" at this point in time. Some people go out with many different people initially (including multiple dates) and then settle on one person to get serious with. And some people just like dating different people and never want to take the next step. It sounds like it is a bit too soon for you to expect a commitment from him, unless you have discussed that already...

    So I don't think you should be worried, unless he has indicated you are a "couple" and therefore there is an expectation of fidelity. It is quite possible he is dating other women, however, and you have to decide how that makes you feel. At some point you may have to discuss it with him if it bothers you (or just not get involved in anything more physical until there is some commitment). Of course, you don't know what he was doing on the dating site--maybe he corresponds with some people (innocently). The online stuff can be pretty fluid at first, but until some commitment has been made I think you have to try to be relaxed about the situation. Good luck...

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    • Thanks. Both times it was a couple kisses as he was leaving. He could be talking to other girls, but I'm not sure if he's gone on dates with them. He's said his weekends have been pretty chill and that he didn't do much and he said he was looking at houses most of the 3 weeks he was here (he just closed on a house 3 days before he left). Of course he could just be telling me that. Should I text him again to say Hello while he's gone, or should I wait for him to text me, or until he gets back?

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    • Thanks! Oh am I'm not one to to text every day either. I'm thinking like once or twice a week. I have been the one to initiate contact the whole time, it would just be nice to hear from him without my texting first. I might try texting again in another day or so--he does answer rather quickly. He didn't keep the conversation going last time though.

    • I can tell you wish he would initiate contact, because that would give you a sign that he likes you as much as you like him. Guys sometimes "play it cool" in the early stages, especially if there are other possibilities. Even if he was really busy, a simple "Hi, I'm thinking about you" text would only take a few seconds. All you can do is be patient, or explore other possibilities yourself so you don't fixate on him (just casual dates to help you keep your perspective)...

What Guys Said 1

  • Should you make an issue out of it? No, at least until you two have the 'exclusive' talk.

    You're still dating. He has no obligation to you, so he may still be shopping. Don't sweat it. It's a normal part of the dating process. I recommend you do the same. It will even the playing field, and may even make him want to have that 'exclusive' talk sooner than if he didn't know you were still talking to other guys.

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What Girls Said 1

  • i think he is still playing the field. if you haven't said you were exclusive he's not wrong, but I see why you would feel hurt about it, I would.

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    • He did say that we would go out when he got back. So I'm not sure what he is thinking other than I think he wants to see me again.

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