Ugly ducking/ late bloomer. What I should do?

I'm 22, and during my high school days was very under developed. I wasn't muscular at all or outgoing and was very quiet with a Bieber flip that covered most of my face. And was told things from women like *you're going to be a 40 year old virgin* to *no one would ever date you so don't even try* and we could say it left a bitter taste in my mouth and I shut off dating completely. I met a girl who was 2.5 years younger than me through a friend that people picked on me for that as well. We dated for 4.5 years and we realized we weren't going to work long term so we cut it off

and now I have come to realize I draw attention everywhere I go. I workout a lot, do yoga for personal benefit and have "grown up" a lot physicality. I've been told I could get anyone I wanted by lots of people and even asked by people where I used to work "why do you work here?" and when I asked what they meant they would say something like "look at you"

but being I've had bad experiences with women I am still in the quiet person mindset and for some reason will find a reason to not approach women. Its not like I don't know what to say or how to treat women but I feel I have too much going on currently to "date"

and it is hard being lonely. Personally I feel that people only are interested for superficial reasons and even things like tonight where a girl in a coffee shop I was at for several hours had a huge group of women show up and I kept getting the "glancing" and walking past brushing me with there clothing and moving there hair around or pointing there knees or toes or bodies in my direction.

does anyone have advice for what I should do? I feel like a fat, short, bald man and when the time comes that I realize I could go grab her number and take her out I rationalize why I shouldn't and keep to myself.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Stop being so down on yourself!

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    • Maybe, but it is hard to recover because your on fence was down back then and now your at a disadvantage because you have no experience.

What Girls Said 2

  • Since college I've received overwhelming attention and flattery. I grew up treated normally in public but was told I was worthless at home. So when I guy approaches me or a girl says in beautiful or a friend says I have a unique and marvelous personality, I know I don't believe it. I guess all I can say is that I relate and that hey, they're probably right. Just work on being your best you and not worry about anything else. That's what makes me happy at least.

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  • im kind of in the same situation. so I would jsut tr to be mroe outgoing and talk to every person I can talk to.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You need more confidence.

    Also, who is datable? it's subjective really. if you project more confidence/happiness, then you will have a FAR greater chance.

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  • You dated someone for 4 and a half years, be glad you have gotten laid before

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