I've never been in this position before, but do I delete him from Facebook too?

i know it sounds silly but...

i went on two dates with this guy who I really hit it off with. he texted me pretty much all day every day and planned out dates until the end of the year. I was aware that he ended a 3 year relationship about 3 months ago, but I figured he was putting in way too much time and effort for me to be a rebound but I still knew there was a chance.

apparently his ex girlfriend found out he was dating me and showed up on the night before our second date begging to get back with him and trying to sleep with him. he told me this, and that I had nothing to worry about, she missed her chance that he had told her that she would want a good thing back and that he had told her there was no chance of them getting back together because he doesn't do second chances.

i accepted all of this and we had a great second date together. this morning he texted me as usual, but later this afternoon he texted me saying "i want to let you know that I had a wonderful time getting to know you better, but it turns out that I'm not ready to date someone right now. I thought that I was. I hope that you understand." I just replied that I understand and I hoped things work out for him and he said "thank you. you're wonderful :)"

i deleted his number on my phone to prevent myself from asking him "why" and what happened between this morning and this afternoon. I'm confused, hurt and upset, because last night on our date we even talked about the future plans we had made for an upcoming date and laughed and nothing went "wrong".

he hasn't deleted me on Facebook yet, and I don't want to delete him because, well to be honest I'm hoping he will come back and that if I delete him from Facebook then ill ruin that chance because he will take it as if I'm mad and don't want to hear from him again, when in reality I just don't want to see him move on with someone else or get back with his ex.

I'm not sure what to do or how to feel. people have said maybe his ex showing up confused him and that he will call or text back but I just don't see how a guy would go from "im not ready to date" to "ok let's date now".

what do I do? I'm so hurt by this and confused.

if I do delete him from Facebook, should I accompany it with a message saying that I really liked him but I didn't want to see him with someone else or something to that extent so that he knows I'm not just deleting him to be a b**ch?


Most Helpful Girl

  • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! do not text him and do not send that vulnerable and humiliating clingy question. Don't do it. It makes you look desperate. He just basically broke off his contact with you after 2 dates. DELETE HIM. Leave it alone. I'll tell you why: men like to be the chasers and hunters initially for the most part. He is also dealing with other emotions with his ex GF. Just delete him and if he wants to find you he still can; just don't block him if you hope he might look you up. But let it go... and then wait and see.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Women have done similar things to me. Just move on and forget about him.


What Girls Said 3

  • chances are, seeing his ex made his feelings come rushing back and basically made him take a step back in his recovery. maybe he is giving their relationship another shot, in which case he'll probably come to you when they break up again. or maybe he just isn't in a place to date with those feelings returning, in which case he may want to date you in a little while when those feelings have diminished again. I think either way he'll probably come to you again, but he clearly has baggage with his ex and doesn't know what he wants. chances are he wouldn't be able to fully commit to you emotionally until he sorts out his feelings for his ex. if seeing his Facebook will be too hard on you, I say delete it. if it won't bother you then no sense in deleting it., sounds like he handled things in a nice way and is not a jerk!

    • that's the worst and best thing about him...that he wasn't a jerk. he was a really good guy and I knew it so I treated him well too. the only thing I can say that would make him a jerk is that on our last date he even talked about upcoming plans he had made for us and was more loving than before, holding my hand, giving me little kisses throughout the night and all. I feel led on in a way.

  • Put him on your "restricted" list for now. He's still added, but he cannot see ANYTHING you post, unless its set for public view. (the earth icon) It's no different than if you had deleted him, except he won't notice the difference, unless you upstate a lot.

  • u should delete him from Facebook,u can't ruin anything because there isn't anything to ruin.I believe he gave in to the ex..it won't work for long tho,just don't wait around,he has too much baggage and you would be a rebound again,disappear for now

    • i wonder if he did give in to his ex and her sexual advances despite what he said and just kept the date with me because to cancel on the day of would be "rude". ill never know, but I will definitely wonder for a while.

    • sorry this happened to u,u must avoid getting involved w anyone freshly out of a relationship,it takes time to heal and the one who has been single a while will be the one getting hurt in the end