I was talking to my friend yesterday about how this guy in one of my classes likes me, but I only like him back as a friend. I asked for advice on having to reject him, but instead my friend said I should give him a chance. When I gave her a perfectly good list of things I knew wouldn't work out (he's only as tall as I am, he's not my type, he values different things, his jokes aren't funny, and I don't have butterflies around him) she said I should go for it and hope the butterflies come afterward. That seems crazy to me.
If you're dating every guy who expresses an interest in you, how are you going to be available for the one you actually like back? Why waste your time forcing yourself to date someone you don't have feelings for while your actual crush backs off because you're taken... it seems like shooting yourself in the foot by forcing companionship because you weren't patient enough for the real thing.
Thoughts? Who would you side with and why?
Most Helpful Guy
I think that in the dating world, we don't see other people for who they really are most of the time. People are in artifical environments, on their best behavior, dressed up, away from their friends...
So someone that might be good looking, may turn out to be a wife beater, illiterate, or a drug dealer...
It's not good to depend on 'butterflies', since that mostly relates to how 'cool' someone appears,and really good people are often not in the 'cool' crowd, as you probably know.
The problem is that dating isn't a good way to get to know someone. I'd, isntead, try tohang out with guys who like you in a group situation, working together on something, or in a club with other people with the same interest.
That way, you get to see how someone behaves in a a normal, everyday setting, and you don't have the pressure of being one-on-one with them all the time.
I do think you should check out anyone who likes you, snce theymust know some characterstics about you if they are attractred
But maybe not 'dating' every guy--there are better ways to find out what they are really like.
I do agree with your friend that butterflies can develop as you get to know someone, especially if they aren't a flashy dresser or naturally handsome.0