Boyfriend said if I was too skinny he wouldn't date me...

He said this last night on the phone in response to me saying that I used to be a size 00. I'm extremely hurt by it, because he always told me that he was dating me because of my personality (and not because of my body). I also used to have an eating disorder, and he knows this, so my former low weight is an EXTREMELY touchy subject. I'm just so hurt by his comment & I don't know what to do :(.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to talk to him. Does he know about your difficult past with eating disorders? Saying something like that over the phone is really insensitive especially if they knew about your eating disorder. I hope that you have overcome that eating disorder

    Truthfully though looks do matter in attraction and from your boyfriends side he may find your physical form unattractive, but I also think that he may find the reason you would be too skinny unappealing. He may be giving you his boundaries/deal breakers if you were to go down that road again. He my feel that he is giving you motivation as to what you would lose if you lost too much weight. You can't believe that your personality is the only thing keeping him around. Would you stay with him if he decided to have a sex change. Probably not because you wouldn't find the change attractive at ll despite his wonderful personality

    Bottom line is that you need to talk to him. He is your partner and should understand you. You need to work together to make sure that you don't head down that road again.In relationships people compromise all the time and lean on each other all the time. I think thathe just cares, but wasn't to sensitive about it

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • Some people are extremely insensitive, especially when it comes to subjects like eating disorders. To be honest, he probably wasn't even aware of how it came out. He might of even thought he was helping you in a way (telling you he wouldn't date you if you ever got back down to that weight, in the hopes it would keep you from falling back into your disordered eating). I think the best thing you can do is just tell him how hurt you are by that comment, and ask him not to do it again. So, it's most likely ignorance on your boyfriend's part. So, just talk to him and tell him it made you upset. If he doesn't care, or he's one of those jerks that thinks he can completely ignore it and tells you he doesn't like it, then you're better off without somebody who brings you down like it. But, as I said, it's most likely ignorance on his part, or some misguided attempt to try to help you.

    I mean, for instance, I've had my brother tell me that nobody likes skeletons among other things, and other people tell me I look like death and it's disgusting, but it's generally them thinking the starvation was for people to find me attractive, and it was them trying to get me to stop in their own way. That's probably what your boyfriend is doing, also (or, he's just a jerk :/).

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  • Well Igues just next time you see him tell him, if you're still hurt about it that is.

    Kinda logical

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