What is the biggest turn off while dating a new guy?

Please answer the poll and give reasons why you feel this way.

  • He is clingy
    48% (26)27% (6)42% (32)Vote
  • He is broke
    13% (7)9% (2)12% (9)Vote
  • He has a small penis
    6% (3)23% (5)11% (8)Vote
  • He wants to have too much sex
    26% (14)18% (4)24% (18)Vote
  • He is shy
    7% (4)23% (5)11% (9)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My opinion is that if the guy I'm seeing makes a LOT more physical moves than I do on the first date, he's not a gentleman. I've dated older guys before who wouldn't touch me somewhere unless I had touched them a certain way, for instance. They'd always wait for a green light from me until moving closer to me physically. To me, that's a very respectable approach and it makes me trust the guy, which is important. A little initiative is nice too, but I shouldn't feel like I'm inspector gadget and I gotta fiercely defend my boundaries.

    Same thing when he wants to make out like crazy, insinuates that he would like to have sex with me, sweets talks to me too much and keeps complimenting my looks, he's only interested in a booty call. Thus, I can't be turned on, as I only want a serious relationship. So all of those things are the biggest turn offs to me.

    Other than that, there's

    1) Being really broke. It makes me feel veeeerrry awkward. I dated a guy like this and there's not much excitement to feel about a new relationship when the guy flats out tells you he'll be in debt for the next 6 months. Same goes when you gotta round up the change at the grocery store with this guy because he's too broke to cover a 20$ or so bill.

    2) Talking about his ex multiple times.

    3) Talking about himself all the time, like not asking me questions about me around 50% of the time.

    4) Overdoing it. Showering me with compliments and throwing me lines. I don't fall for that and it leads me to believe he's being phony. That makes me even more distrustful, so I'm not likely to pursue anything with this guy any time soon.

    Biggest turn ons, however, are

    1) Succeeding to make me trust him on the first date. I'm cautious and rather cynical, so it's not a given to most guys.

    2) Not showering me with sweet talking. That makes me think the guy isn't fooling around, but rather taking this seriously.

    3) Taking initiative overall (NOT jumping my bones though)

    4) Talking about his family and personal stuff. I like to feel like an insider and I'm being told stuff that he wouldn't tell just about anyone.

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What Girls Said 28

  • A guy being clingy and or broke are the the two that bother me the most. I don't expect a guy to spend a fortune on me but he needs to be able to take me to dinner once in a while. If we are just starting out some affection is nice but constantly touching kissing and calling can cause me to lose interest.

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  • I need space and I'm a very independent person. I can honestly say that I hate people who are too clingy. If a guy can't function on his own, he needs to go back to his parents because I'm not ready to have someone depend on me. Space is good. Having different interests and hobbies is good. Doing everything together isn't.

    The second turn off would be wanting too much sex. I just think that would get tiring after a while and in this case, there's such a thing as p*rn and as long as he's not cheating on me, he can get rid of this anyway he pleases. This really isn't that big of a turn off (scale of 1-10, it would be a 4ish)

    Now, as for the last three; I'm shy so I can't rightly break up with someone because they are too shy. Smaller penis- I'm a virgin in all senses but I do know that vibrators exist. So what if he's broke? So am I. Honestly, as long as he isn't homeless I have no problems with this money thing- I prefer staying in and talking, playing games, watching movies, etc.

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  • also clingy or pressuring you to have sex all the time/ too early into the relationship

    i don't want to feel like all he wants from the relationship is sex and I don't want him to be harrassing me with calls/texts asking why we don't meet up every single day etc etc, I'm busy I have work and friends as well as him, I don't want to feel like a naughty kid avoiding a parent. however that doesn't mean I don't want the guy to not care at all and be really distant

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  • I chose A. I've been with my boyfriend on and off for almost three years now, and during our last little stint of being "off," I started a relationship with this other guy. Within two dates, he had already been clingier than I've ever seen my parents be in my whole twenty-one years of existing...lol. And since my current boyfriend was never really super-clingy, I didn't know how to deal with overly clinginess, because I wasn't used to it. I kind of have the mindset of, "If I'm bothering to be around you, it means I like you." Because after spending so much time with the guy I'm currently dating, that was just the mindset that I had to get used to...and as a result of that, I've grown completely comfortable with it. In Mr. Clingy's mind, however, things were more along the lines of, "If you really like me, you'll cling to me just as much--if not more--than I'm clinging to you." I felt very suffocated, and it was just generally unpleasant. Needless to say, that relationship ended pretty quickly...lol.

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  • Well I wouldn't have sex with a guy until he wasn't new, so some of your options are obsolete to me. I don't just fall into bed with a date. I chose if he was clingy as the biggest turn off, but in reality, the largest turn off of all for me is sexism. If I so much as here a single sexist comment out of him? It's the last date. There's no bigger turn off than dating someone that believes you are inferior.

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    • Ex of sexist comment please? One that would put you off.

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    • There really is nothing wrong with "double standards", you must treat men and women differently as it's only logical, being non-bisexual could be listed as a "double standard". It is also more of a risk for men to be with a slut than for women to be with man-whores. Obviously both are risks but men can end up raising kids that aren't theirs or be made responsible to support a pregnant woman who is not having HIS child (of course in either situation she knows for sure it is hers).

    • This may also be why women are more likely to forgive a solely sexual infidelity as opposed to a more romantic and emotional affair (which may lead to a loss of resources for them and/or their children who they want the best for) than men. Different standards for different people/genders in, ultimately, different situations. Critique the standards and not necessarily the difference.

  • When a guy is broke and cannot pay for anything, it makes me feel awkward and gives me the impression that I would have to support them. It's a huge turn on when a guy shows me that he can support himself and can be responsible. When a guy is always giving me compliments everyday and saying "I love you" within the first 6 months of dating, it makes me not trust him and annoys me to death. I also hate it when a guy is super conceded but also when he's too down on himself. I like a confident man.

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  • Yeah... If he is too pushy!

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  • I voted shy because I hate awkward silences and watching his eyes check me out. If the conversation isn't there it's hard to know what's going through his mind.

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  • Asking me to pay for my meal at a first date at a restaurant. He'll never see me again.

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  • Clingy early on is usually a sign of worse behavior to come. Clingy usually becomes full blown possessiveness later on.

    Being broke is not that bad if he is trying to correct the problem. If he is free loading off of others though, that's worse than clingy IMO.

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  • When he is trying to be a little bossy, too physical, and talks about him him him alllll the time. The ultimate turn off: When he wants sex.

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  • clingy or pressuring you or initiating sex from early on.forget turnoff its a deal breaker

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  • I would say clingy. To be honest we probably wouldn't even be dating.

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  • If he is too clingy, it makes me feel uncomfortable.

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  • Clinginess. It becomes scary when the guy wants to spend a lot more time together than you do. Even scarier is when he wants to know about your whereabouts 24/7

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  • I don't like it when I go to a date expecting to get off at the least and nothing happens because he is way too shy

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  • if he keeps bothering me for sex. I hate that.

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  • Clingy or traits of being submissive/feminine

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  • A cocky attitude

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  • Trying too hard. If a guy is trying too hard to be cool or funny, it definitely doesn't arouse me/make me like them better. When a guy is being their normal self, for some reason I love it because I know that they're not trying to impress me.

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  • Shy.

    To the point where he can't come out of his shell and it makes me feel like I'm a failure.

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  • Being a jackass ,know it all, clingy, no sense of humor.

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  • A guy that brags a lot, only talk about himself, a guy that is a "know-it-all", no sense of humour

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  • I have my anti social moments. I like being around people, but I LOVE my "me" time. So a guy wanting to be around me 24/7 is a huge turn off...out of the options you listed.

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  • Clingy and try to be 'funny'

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  • an absolute deal breaker is if he's violent... I understand loosing your cool, but don't you dare take it out on me!

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  • I hate clingy guys especially if they are broke and are too demanding of sex.

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  • Not taking a HINT.

    If I'm hinting loud an clear that I need space, he should take the hint and not assume that I'm just being coy. He'll KNOW when I'm being just coy.

    If I'm hinting that he needs to cool it with the sexual innuendos or any sort of sexual interaction, he should take the hint.

    There is nothing worse than a guy who just keeps full steam ahead when you have repeatedly tried to save any potential for a connection by hinting that he is laying it on too thick.

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    • give an example of a hint you would give. just wondering

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    • I suggest for those girls to say clearly, if you do not stop I will leave, if you like the guy but are going too far tel him that he is turning you off by being so aggressive.

    • Yes, that is certainly the rational option, I'm not suggesting that this isn't theoretically what girls should do. But when it comes down it, many factors make it hard to act rationally. What if she IS really sexually attracted to him, but doesn't want to acknowledge his advances just yet so as not to appear easy? If she tells him to stop, that's kind of sending mixed messages. My point is, it's not that clear cut.

What Guys Said 1

  • I feel most girls will vote A (too clingy)

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