Is it truly over? Will I ever hear from him again?

I dated this Marine (a few years younger than me) and he just turned 21 in September. We started out as friends and then things picked up. However, it was my immorality that I didn't tell him I already had a boyfriend. My relationship was dying and on its way out. I am writing this question in full description risking insults, but I hope someone can give advice or their thoughts on this. When I finally told him I had a boyfriend, we both agreed to not be dating anymore until I broke up with the boyfriend. I was afraid to break up with my boyfriend because it has been a long-term one. Before I could break up with him, the boyfriend found out about the Marine and broke up with me by phone as I sat next to the Marine this one night. I showed I was stressed out. 3 days later, the Marine ends it with me. I later found out in a talk with the Marine that he lost a lot of feelings witnessing the break up and that he felt like a rebound/guy #2/I couldn't make a choice by the way him and the boyfriend since he waited a couple weeks for me to do the right thing (break up cleanly).

A few weeks ago, I saw the Marine again where he agreed to see me one more time. It ended up becoming date night unintentionally and it was sweet. However, at the end of the night, the Marine shut down and said that what happened that night could not happen again...that he still had feelings, but he was then acting cold and distant. I told him he was always the one I wanted to date and he said he couldn't believe me..can't trust me.

I last saw him two weeks ago to pick something up at his house and it was very awkward, but I still saw and felt the attraction from him as we talked briefly. It was short and bittersweet. As he said he had to go back into his house, he backed away from me slowly looking at me without hugging me good-bye.

That was the last I've heard/seen him.

I've been telling myself to try my hardest to get over him and move on, but it's been difficult and all I can do is think about him.

Please let me know of any advice/opinions. I feel that I truly messed up a good thing and I understand what I did was extremely wrong and unforgivable in a man's eyes.

Your help is appreciated.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • So you had a boyfriend and didn't tell him about it and wouldn't end it because you were afraid of starting over in something new and losing such a big piece of the recent past...I think this is what is hitting him the hardest. See, his job is to travel the world (which he may not do, it's up to his command). Yes, he feels like a rebound, but more than that is that you are afraid to take chances. If you couldn't even break up with a man who made you unhappy (to make just yourself happy), how can another great man expect you to give yourself to him completely and make both of you happy? In this sense, it's not so much your actions he is judging (in my opinion) but your judgement. You should probably take a good long look at yourself. Take a quiet weekend, no TV, no friends, etc. Find out where you want to be 6 months and a year from now, because he is mature enough that if this situation hurts him that bad you can believe that's the kind of guy that he is. And if you decide you can't let him go be on his merry way then the best you can do it not give up until he plants a restraining order on your confusing behind. Write him a letter telling him how you feel. He doesn't respond? Call him. Still nothing? Set a fire somewhere and get his attention via smoke signal. You want him that bad, work for it babe.

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    • Lol thanks for your response. I actually did write him a letter...it was that last time we had our unintentional date. I pinged him on FB and he answered me right away. When I asked to see him, he surprised me by asking "When?" I was savoring the date/good time with him and saved the letter for last. I ended up summarizing the letter for him in person and that's when he shut down/didn't know what to say/speechless. He said there's feelings on his end, but he just can't do this.

    • So technically he did respond to the letter to me in person...lol. He's picked up 5 classes (17 units) on the quarter system and has 2 part time jobs. His first reason was that he has absolutely no time to see me anymore and then I got him to admit that a lot of it is the break up situation with my ex.

      I've been giving him his space by not talking to him. I only had to see him that last time because I had to pick something up from his house... I don't know how else to work for it

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • Let it go he's not going to change his mind. He slipped up clearly he had feelings for you and that's why you had a date night but he will never be serious with you because he won't trust you.

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  • I think he is a sweet guy too and I think he blamed everything on himself because he thinks your break up was all because of him since he was next to you at that time. The why you explain your relationship with Marine means that you two still love each other but he is just un-sure if he should trust you again. It is not like you guys are not seeing each other anymore so the only suggestion is make him trust you again by giving him more time and be patience since he can wait for your break up why can't you wait for him to trust you again. Spent more time with him if you can so he can forget the bad memories and replace it with happy ones. You should say sorry with sincere if you can at the right time. That will be great if you can say sorry to him but you should also show it in your actions too.

    That is my opinion. Good Luck! ;)

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