I'm not happy but I love him, what should I do?

I'm so sad right now because Ibeont know whether to keep hanging on or just give up. I've been with him for two and a half years and he's just taken me for granted. He doesn't treat me bad but he sure doesn't treat me that good anymore.

He never a touches me aside from sex...no hugs, cuddling, kisses, or anything. I have to hug or cuddle him and he never puts his arm around me I feel like I'm hugging a tree. He used to say how beautiful and perfect I was...

If I was sad he'd be sad too...because I'm not happy. Now if something upsets me he doesn't even confort me.

I told him a year ago I need affection and comfort and he said he would try but nothing has changed...

He doesn't understand by giving me a kiss or telling me something sweet that it just makes me so happy

I don't know what else to do. Should I talk to him again? How do I make him realize it's very important to me that he doesn't treat us like a "sibling" relationship? By that I mean the lack of affection...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like he won't ever change as far as showing you affection and love. That is very sad and happens a lot with people in relationships. You can keep reminding him and getting that quicky like drug addicts do or you can do something about it. I probably will not get better and if it does the time table it will take will not be what you had hoped. Honestly I would move on, better to count your losses now instead of spend more time wasted with a man who does not appreciate you or show you love. Everyone has a different love language and we need to be wary of those needs so we can meet them. I know there are good guys out there that would for sure show you the love you need. I am a very affectionate guy I love to cuddle, give hugs, and kiss my girl. I shower her in affection I thought that was natural for guys. Seriously though find someone who will really love you!

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    • His language of love would be act of service or time together...which are important but so is touch IMO. I don't know if this counts but he always tries to play around touch me like smack my butt, grab my chest, tickle me, and once in a while he will surprise jump me and lay with me for a while. I don't know if that's just a different way or if that counts

What Guys Said 6

  • why do you love him so much?

    i think if you haven't talk to him in a year about the issues you have then yes you need to bring them up again. I think the fact is though that if he doesn't make an effort to change that should be all there is to it and you need to decide if you really are in love with this guy or just in love with the idea of being in love and being in a relationship.

    It seems to me that he is unsympathetic, not very romantic and a bit selfish. I would ask myself the question; do I deserve this or do I deserve better? I think the answer to that is clear and once you realize what you deserve it will make it easier to realize that this relationship is not good for you

    but making an effort to show affection, making an effort to comfort you, etc are all really bad signs as someone who loves someone should be doing these things because they love you

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  • Love is a chemical and nothing more it is time for you to find a new BF. Why?, well because he doesn't want to care about you anymore, SORRY! He knows, trust me, he knows everything. He knows that small things like a kiss or a hug or saying something simple and nice can make a world to a girl. He simply doesn't want to do those things anymore, he is refusing and rejecting to do them, I mean even a blind person can understand it. Unfortunately for you, you are in love with him and like I said before, love is chemical and it is time for you to move on. He is useless at this point, sorry. It is like me smoking weed every single day and after couple years not being happy anymore with it, though I love it very much it doesn't bring me happiness so I QUIT for couple months and then start again. Exactly the same concept, just a different chemical and different situation.

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  • You have communicated your thoughts to him before, yet he does not respond. Be more insistent, else, leave him. You deserve someone better who is truly concerned about you. If this happens just only after one year, how are you supposed to live with him the rest of your life?

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  • He shouldn't have to TRY to show affection. If you're TRYING it means you have to think about it, that you don't feel it and it's not coming naturally. Sounds like it's time to move on.

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  • tell him how you feel

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  • You already told him. Telling him again will only buy you a small amount of time. I had this conversation with m X fiance once. Notice I said x? I want real affection and not forced.

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What Girls Said 3

  • All you can do is tell him how you feel and see if he will try harder. If not, you don't deserve to stay when you're not happy. He isn't giving you the affection you need. Sometimes that happens when the "honeymoon" phase is over, maybe it's not meant to be - both people have to be trying.

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  • if he doesn't treat you the way you wanna be treated then let him go. otherwise he's just gonna keep on doing it. you're the one who's suffering, not him so why should you stay? you can find another man who will do what you want

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  • I think you should talk to him again and don't have sex till he understands what you mean. If he doesn't change or whatever, I honestly think it's best for you to break up. You might love him but you're not happy. You should be in a relationship where he loves you back and he makes you happy. He shouldn't take advantage of you.

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