Do you think the reason so many guys can't get a woman is because the can't communicate face to face?

I have seen it so many times guys text or message like crazy but put them face to face with a woman & they become idiot's. They can't carry on a conversation. Just to make things fair it happens when girls approach guy's to. So what's your opinion this take?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • That can be one main contribution. People get so used to communicating on the internet or by text where they can take their time to respond, edit, and try and give a specific impression. They show who they want to be seen as. When you are face to face, there is no time for that...you are much more vulnerable and open. So those who have been relying on online communication and our insecure on top of it fail in real life interactions.

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What Guys Said 16

  • My opinion on that, is lack of experience unfortunately and not enough confidence in them self's (most guys think that they need an expensive car, a good paying job and good looks, though It is true in some sense, in reality it is not entirely true. All you need in reality is confidence in your self and believe in your own words) If a girl would like a guy for who he is, TRUST ME, she'll make SURE, that her guy would get all of those things that he wants ( great car, high paying job and looks ) through mental support and love. After all, two heads and two souls that are in love are better than one or two separate ones that are lonely and down. Through out my early life experience with girls, I learned two things through trials and errors. One, you have to be confide in your self, girls are just another human being, just an opposite sex. Plus, girls can smell fear and shyness in the air lol, I mean it is like like she is an alien you know, ( can you imagine talking to an alien in a real life, WoaW what a rush that would be lol) anyway, back to your question. And two, you have to find a balance between being a truly nice guy and being an esshole if you will. Most if not all girls doesn't like guys to be easy, because there is no fun, there is no challenge. And Fun and challenge is what relationship and marriage ( no, I'm not married never been ) are all about.

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  • Of course. Communication is how you get to know a person.

    The problem isn't necessarily texting or messaging, it's the ability to properly direct one's attention and focus.

    Take this site for example. You can tell who's preoccupied and who's not based on some of the answers they give. Someone who is focused and applies attention to detail will provide very elaborate and well structured responses, whereas those who are mind-wandering elsewhere will provide short, substantively lacking responses.

    That's not 100% reliable but it's fairly accurate for most cases.

    If a guy is into a girl, he's going to be locked into every word he types because he doesn't want to be misrepresented. He wants to get to know her so he's 100% focused. Mentally, the two are on par but as we all know, texting isn't the same as f***ing.

    Once the two meet in person, it's much easier to lose that focus and mentally wander into issues that have nothing to do with being in the present. In sports, when an athlete is struggling the question often asked is whether or not it's a mechanical (physical) issue, or a mental issue. If it's a mental issue, the athlete is thinking too much and misguiding his focus towards every task EXCEPT the task right in front of him.

    Same applies to guys. Once he starts thinking "when should I kiss her? Should I hug her? Does she think I'm an idiot? She's so beautiful she might be too good for me!" then his focus is no longer solely on the girl in present time, as it was when they were texting. This can be fixed with, of course, better communication. The guy needs the peace of mind to not have to worry about that stuff while the girl should be more empathetic towards his self inflicted pressures so he can ease off a bit.

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  • No. I think it hurts a little, but the guys who have the most problems don't communicate or flirt in any way, period.

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    • Yes! This! They treat you the same way your brother would and wonder why you're not into them!

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    • Yes is a win loose. This is the struggle that I don't think women realize we face. We either risk a reputation as a creeper while being shunned from the group, or we succeed in getting the girl. There is rarely a middle ground. Depending on a guys personality, previous experience, and how he was raised, he may be more likely to steer away from such a risk. I just don't like how there is sort of a double standard being presented by society here, that really muddy's up the dating game.

    • From the group? Stop sitting around being in love with your friend and go hit on strangers. That's the 'dating game'.

      Asshole + objectify works far better then scared and pedestal. Cocky, outgoing, see women as they actually are (which most "nice guys" don't do) can work better, but is hard to actually do without experience.

  • I can't really speak to anyone face to face or through texts. I am just not a very social person. I get all nervous taking to anybody, family, people I know, cashiers bar tender, it doesn't matter who it is. I have never met anybody that I felt comfortable with. even going to physiotherapy, it's so weird to have to sit their and talk to the therapist, and it is worse because she is close in age which most likely makes her feel that I should be doing/have done the same things as her in life, such as have amazing friends, go to party's, feel comfortable around people, have lot of good experiences, when in reality I have had almost none of that, and lost all or most of my friends. so whatever, I don't know if I care anymore

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  • I can see that it could be a problem for the current generation.Face to face conversation is becoming a lost art.

    It shouldn't be such a problem for people in your age group.Surely they can remember what conversation was like before texting and emails.

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    • Your right I have no problem converseing face to face. But I have a hard time putting it down in print texting or email.

  • I think the rise of technology has made a lot of people less social in this generation

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  • NAH it wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that they find the slightest flaw and turn you down, have unrealistic expectations, and don't ever initiate any form of interaction and put all the responisibility on the man would it.

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    • Your poor outlook is why you're single. Notice how other guys have girlfriends?

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    • Hanzo you sure have a lousy out look or do you just dislike everyone in general.

    • I have been given what you might perceive as a "lousy out look" but it's realistic... And I don't dislike everyone...I just see women as an enemy. I was born with "I hate everyone" stamped on my head...and like I told the poster below I wasn't always this way.

  • I believe its the Internet and text messaging. You can be what ever you want on the internet. As for text messaging your don't have to respond immediately. So when some one is face to face with the opposite sex they have to be themselves.

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  • It can be just the opposite as well. Some girls will complain (half-jokingly) that the guy never texts her or messages her on Facebook. I can't text or fb someone I don't have a decent rapport with. I prefrer speaking face-to-face.

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  • It's definitely ONE major reason, but not the only one.

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  • Nope, I disagree.

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  • Um, huh.Well sometimes uh um never mind!

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  • Sure there are people in general who just have awful people skills. But I also know plenty of men who have trouble with women and they are fine at communicating face to face.

    I think its more a matter of being able to seduce and flirt. As men, we are wired to build relationships and emotional bonds in a certain way. For men it usually involves something similar to building a close friendship. We can fall in love with someone who is basically just a friend, and this influences how many guys interact with women.

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  • No because girls refuse to be seen with ugly guys like us

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    • But what if we are comfortable with who we are and confident! and Humorous! loving! caring! responsible! surely looks don't trump all those! OH WAIT they do.

  • This does not apply to all guys, but it does apply to me. I am an idiot when it comes to talking face-to-face with girls. It's one of the factors why I've never had a close female friend. It has to do with how much differently women's brains work. Women can take the simplest sentence or action to the extreme as if I said or said something waaay out of line.

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  • I'm sure that's a factor, but certainly not the most important one.

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    • So what's the most important reason?

    • I don't know what the most important reason is, I just don't think this one is it, especially once we get past about 20 years of age.

      Most women will forgive a man for being shy and awkward in her presence if he is attractive and/or has money.

What Girls Said 8

  • I think this is a problem because of how dependent this generation is on technology. and I don't think this is just guys, but apply to girls as well. when you aren't communicating face to face (ex. texting) it's so much easier to be flirty and confident because you have time to think and analyze your answer. whereas if you were speaking face to face, you only have the filter between your mouth and brain to depend on

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    • Women are too busy filtering through their thousands of follwers on instagram millions on twitter and dozens on Facebook.

    • haha there are also guys like that

  • Blame technology it's caused people to offer face to face communication now a days people tend to communicate with texts or email rather than face to face

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  • I don't know that it made me write him off 100% but yeah, it was very weird like this one guy would text and IM like crazy but never call lol hello, I want to hear your voice.

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    • And let me guess, you never once thought to maybe TELL HIM about that issue, or you know take the initiative FOR ONCE and call him?

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    • Why should I go into excessive detail when it wasn't called for. I was agreeing her basic premise - that some guys fail to make progress with females when they are too shy and hide behind texts, emails and IM's. You must be one of the chickens who has little or no confidence. Hope you work on that.

    • Nah I was always confident ha a sense of humor and all those tangible qualities you women claim supersede anything else. But when I didn't have the looks to go with it I mysteriously didn't interest them.

  • Yes. It goes for both sides, but if you can't talk to someone face-to-face, they won't remember you. But if you're one of those few guys or girls who talks to them instead of just standing there and looking pretty, you will linger in their head and they will more likely want to talk to you again.

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  • It's possible.

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  • I think this hurts women, too. Especially painfully shy women. But more women tend to be a bit stronger at social interactions and more men tend to struggle a bit more.

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  • Possibly. Technology is maybe a favor but also being more sensitive and self-entitled these days has a lot to do with that too.

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  • Most of them don't even attempt to make a move on girls! Sadly a lot of them are turning gays these days too!

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    • Because we are tired of doing all of that only to watch you sit back and turn down guy after guy.

    • agh not true! I'm ugly though so guys don't usually approach me! :P

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